Review by Psycho Penguin

"And this is supposed to help me like golf?"

Let me first start off by saying that golf, as a sport, does not appeal to me at all. Not to make fun of golf fans or anything (like I would ever do such a thing.. *gasp*) but I see nothing remotely interesting about watching a 50 year old guy in khaki pants use some sort of club to whack a ball into a hole. Maybe some people out there enjoy it, but I certainly do not. That is just my opinion, however, feel free to form your own opinions of me.

Now, you must have imagined how excited I was when I found out that one of the ten games I got in a box was a game called ''Jack Nicklaus Golf''. I was just so enamored and prviledged to play such a wild and crazy game featuring an old guy on the cover. Who needs Final Fantasy 57 when you can play a true classic like Jack Nicklaus Golf?

Now that I have woken up, this is definitely the worst Turbografx game I have yet to play. There is nothing even remotely close to resembling fun in this game. About the only fun thing in this game is throwing darts at the box cover, featuring the wonderful ''Golden Bear'' himself (Damn, I sure hope he is the golden bear. I get all my golf terms confused). Yes, it gets a 2 because the game makes a good dartboard. Otherwise, this game is completely devoid of anything resembling fun.

The basic game play of this game is a lot like any other golf game, believe it or not. You have this object called a club. You can use the club to whack various balls into the holes conviently located around the 18 holes or so of golf action. This game likes to piss you off by refusing to recognize you hitting the ball, however. I swear I would spend many minutes trying to hit the damn ball, and the damn ball would not move. Then, you have this little meter, but it does not mean anything because the chances are when the meter fills up and you swing you're going to miss the damn ball anyways.

And there is the basic problem I have with most golf games. I can never quite figure out how to play them, because I always miss the damn ball. Unfortunately for Jack Nicklaus and his little game, it was released for the Turbografx 16, which sucks because the Turbografx 16 controller provides little help when it comes to playing this game. In fact, the controller will make you end up hating the game even more than you already will. Golf games almost always suck, and this game is no exception. And yes, that is bias, I am biased against Turbografx games.

The graphics in the game are nothing extraordinary, I would have expected a little more effort been put into the graphics of the game, because the game seems an awful lot, graphically, like some of the golf games released on NES, and that is not supposed to happen because the Turbografx is the more powerful system, dammit! The cool part of the graphics is the title screen, which shows a nice picture of that cheery guy Jack Nicklaus swinging at air, which is proof that this game forces you to miss the ball.

Music and sound effects in this game are pretty much non existant. I had an epihany a few seconds ago and in it was the fact that golf would be a lot cooler if they played some music while the golfers were sinking the damn putt. Yes, it is quiet in the ''real sport'' but come on, was it really neccessary to make this game as silent as possible? Who cares if it is more realistic, last time I checked, the best golf game was far from realistic! Too bad the developers did not realize that sooner.

Overall, this is one of the worst games I have yet to play on 16 bit consoles. I am fed up with golf and I am fed up with all the golf games out there, and yes that is bias but I don't really give a damn because I am biased against golf. I am also biased against crappy games, and this is a crappy golf game, which makes it a pure stinker in my book! Avoid at all costs or I'll find you and hunt you down.


Reviewer's Score: 2/10 | Originally Posted: 08/12/00, Updated 07/16/01


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