"Lip Service..."

Did you brush your teeth today? How about flossing? Come on, admit it. Before your annual dentist appointment, you're scrubbing like mad to get rid of the evidence of neglect. You're teeth aren't quite the ideal pearly whites that everyone desires. Perhaps they're just a little too yellow and look like little pieces of corn. Or maybe you've got a big piece of spinach trapped in between your molars. Or maybe your breath can wilt flowers and bring potentially good dates to a screeching halt. But aside from the superficial drawbacks, neglecting your teeth can bring about some serious health risks. If left unattended, your mouth will become a festering pit of fungus, holes, and rotted gums. You may be enjoying that stack of Valentine's Day candy now, but you'll be drinking them from a straw if you let some cavities develop. Then the infection will spread into the rest of your mouth, eventually affecting the rest of your daily life.

If the thought of becoming a toothless old hag doesn't scare you into better dental etiquette, Plaque Attack will. You play as some poor slob who can't stop eating everything in sight, a gluttonous monster of the worst kind. You're looking in a mirror at your beautiful rows of teeth, only to watch in horror as they come under siege of the countless meal items that you've consumed. It doesn't matter what you've inhaled, only how you'll get rid of the oncoming rush is what makes the difference. This unprecedented flood of food will envelop your teeth and gums, leaving your mouth a drool-ridden wasteland. Luckily, you have just the weapon to combat these unintentionally evil foes. Using a tiny tube of toothpaste, you'll have to eradicate every speck of the morsels before your precious pearlies are safe and sound. And if you manage to save your mouth from the invading plaque, your high score may be saved as well.

However, your toothpaste isn't exactly maximum strength or dental hygienist approved. Though packed to the brim with dental goodness, it can only spurt out a small glob of cleansing paste every few seconds, forcing you to time your attacks to near perfection. You can be faced with a small group of roving food, only to watch in horror as all of your shots miss because your aim is just a tiny bit off. Also, this makeshift toothpaste gun comes with a limited amount of ammunition. Once you're completely out of ammo, your savior of a toothpaste tube will crumple into nothingness, leaving you defenseless against the masses. Considering this combination of limited attack power and supply, you'll have to be patient with your attacks, waiting for the perfect moment to let loose some fluoride on the waves of plaque-inducing food bits. And if your toothpaste-wielding abilities are up to par, your high score will earn more teeth and help save your mouth from impending doom.

Even if you do master the art of paste slinging, chances are that you'll still be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of junk food pouring into your mouth. It'll start off innocently enough, with only a few rows of giant hamburgers leading the charge. But as you progress through the impromptu meals, you'll come across hot dogs, cherries, candy canes, ice cream, fries, strawberries, and anything else that this poor and hungry soul can fit in his mouth. However, you won't have time to stop and ponder over your character's inhumane eating habits. These foods will swarm onto the screen by the dozens, their rows moving all over the screen. Some foods will move in a uniform direction, while others will travel diagonally or zigzag their way into the bottomless pit of a mouth. However, you can't just sit there and watch the food fly by. If some piece of food touches a tooth even once, you'll lose one of your beloved pearly whites. And since the foods will attack in larger hordes as the game progresses, you'll have to stay attentive lest you suddenly find yourself without some chompers.

Despite the never-ending flow of food being forced into your mouth, you can still take some time and enjoy what you're seeing. The screen display is set up like a replica of a mouth, complete with four realistically shaped teeth on opposite sides of the screen. Though missing a few sets of teeth and some oddly colored gums at first, this visual makes for an excellent rendering of the human mouth. However, the real beauty lies with the countless pieces of food being crammed down your gullet. The hamburgers come in a variety of colors, including shades for cheese, lettuce, and beef stuck in between a sesame seed bun. You can almost make out the mustard on the hot dogs, or the tiny little seeds on the outsides of the strawberries. You'll watch in horror as all this food makes contact with your teeth, leaving that telltale yellow stain before your mouth turns into a gaping hole of filth. It's this flurry of food and colors that makes Plaque Attack an entertaining alternative to other shooting games on the Atari.

Now, take a look at the condition of your own teeth. This game will make you think twice about ditching your dental duties. While brushing after every meal may be an impossible task for some, it's still a healthy habit worth knowing. Who knows? You could be enjoying some tasty dish when you suddenly lose one of your teeth to some rotten gums. Or you could chomp down on a chocolate bar, the sharp pain of a gaping cavity taking the place of the wonderfully sweet taste of candy goodness. Who will you have to blame for your aching gums and unsightly mouth? When it comes down to it, you're in charge of your personal health. What you do in between your visits to the dentist is your business. But in case you forget about your accountability, Plaque Attack serves as an entertaining reminder.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 02/14/05