FAQ by Vaejas

Version: 1.1 | Updated: 01/01/70 | Printable Version

                            *The Official*
                      The Legend of the Red Dragon
             _           ________    ________    _______
            | |         /  ____  \  |  ____  |  |  ___  \
            | |        |  /    \  | | |    | |  | |   \  |
            | |        | |      | | | |____| |  | |    | |
            | |        | |      | | |  ____  \  | |    | |
            | |        | |      | | | |    \  | | |    | |
            | |______  |  \____/  | | |     | | | |___/  |
            |________|. \________/ .|_|     |_|.|_______/ .


                            By Luke Sather
                            Fido: 1:140/22
                      'Net: lsather@eagle.wbm.ca

                        v1.1 - Bits 'n Pieces
                     Current LORD release - v3.26a


 ** About the Game **

   I. What is LORD?

 (From the DOCS)

              -=-=-=-=Part One: LORD INTRODUCTION=-=-=-=-

 LORD (Legend of the Red Dragon) is a multi-player battle game created
 for Bulletin Board Systems. (It can also be played without a BBS by
 typing: "LORD /L" the from DOS prompt)


  ** DesqView, Windows and OS/2 support.

  ** Support for most drop file types (DORINFOx.DEF, PCBOARD.SYS,

  ** IRQs 0-15 support & selectable port addresses for nonstandard

  ** CTS/RTS flow checking, lock baud and COM baud rates up to 115,200.

  ** Internal COM routines support.

  ** Fossil driver support.

  ** Locked fossil driver support.

  ** True multi-node support. (Send online messages, battles and

  ** Lockout any player you don't like by putting their name in the
     LOCKOUT.DAT file.  (It will display LOCKOUT.TXT when they play and
     boot them - You can edit this file if you wish).

  ** RIP Support Detect, also supports ANSI and ASCII. (Remember, RIP
     can be deciphered remotely only, locally it may look like garbage).

  ** Option to generate ANSI & ASCII score files with any path and name
     in LORDCFG.EXE. Great option if you wish to display the LORD scores
     as a bulletin on your BBS.

  ** In game downloading of LORDICON.ZIP, the optional file RIP users
     can unzip to their ICONS directory to see graphics.  (LORD will
     auto detect if they are using RIP, what version of RIP, and if they
     do not have the LORD icons, will give them the option to download
     it). NOTE: You will need to obtain a copy of an external protocols
     program such as GSZ.EXE (Which you can download from many BBS's) if
     you wish the in-game downloading of the LORD icon files to work and
     set the path in LORDCFG.EXE.

  ** Auto Maintenance as the first person of the day plays.  Entire
     process takes less then 4 seconds on most systems.

  ** Auto deletion of inactive players.  (You can set how long if
     needed) Smart Delete also knows when your system is down, if no one
     plays, it will not count that day against the user.
  ** Ultra easy to run.  You don't have to do anything, ever.  On the
     other hand, LORDCFG.EXE will allow the sysop to become as involved
     as he wants to be!  Define many rules, and enable/disable certain
     (Not all options are available to an unregistered game).
  ** Powerful player editor!  (Can only save if you have the registered

  ** Inactivity timeout at 3 minutes (If a player doesn't touch the
     keyboard for over 3 minutes), regardless of caller security.
  ** SysOp chat option, use Alt-C to chat, Escape to finish.
  ** Players play an average of 10 minutes a day (At standard settings).
     The perfect game to compliment an active message base. In fact,
     thats why it was written.  Keeps 'em coming back for more EACH DAY!

  ** Lots of professional RIP art. You've gotta play it to believe it!

  ** Special Skills!  Players can take their pick of being a 'Death
     Knight', 'Mystical Skills User' or a student of the 'Thieving
     Skills'! Or, become the ultimate warrior, and LEARN THEM ALL!
  ** "Never Reset" gameplay.  New approach to gaming!  When a player
     wins the game, only *HE* is reset.  He does keep special 'skills'
     he has learned, as well his charm, kids and status in The Old Man
  ** Much more text.  Log 'lementings' can be easily edited for a
     personalized game!
  ** Smart Node.  Users are automatically informed when another player
     enters the realm at the same time.  Or leaves.  Or sends a message.
     (Via messenger on horseback!)
     (Single line systems, if you can multi-task, you CAN use the Local
     option from DOS to play along with someone on your BBS.  Just run
     LOCAL.BAT from the LORD dir.)

  ** More interactive forest events.  Many 'secrets' to discover.

  ** Hundreds of ways for players to interact.

  ** Players can get married and have kids!

  ** DarkCloak Tavern.  Hard to find, but VERY interesting when you do.

  ** Powerful mail writing routines.  Unlimited length.

  ** Always tastefully lewd, and sort of tastefully gory.
  ** A *FREE* upgrade to previously registered users.  (As all upgrades
     are FREE for Seth Able Games products).

  ** Reach new hights of conversation with 'Characters' from the game.

  ** Still only $15 to register, the best value in doors today!

    A. What makes LORD better than other "Medieval" doors?

 (Opinion Mode ON!)

   Plenty!  The main thing is its simplicity.  While some doors have
 hundreds of weapons, armours, items, and billions of enemies, LORD goes
 for playability with just a dozen different weapons and armour, no
 items, and only 131 enemies (plus the Red Dragon), and relies on the
 players to make things interesting.
   Like Seth says, the purpose of LORD wasn't to be a door your users
 would spend ALL their daily time playing, but a daily 10-20 minutes to
 stir up other sections of your BBS.  And now LORD's gotten so good,
 it's even worth playing by yourself!  (Or if you're REALLY schizo,
 as many of you as you want!  Nothing more annoying than logging on and
 finding you killed yourself 2 minutes ago! <grin>)
   The best thing about LORD is, there's no real reason to quit because
 you keep getting killed or beat up.  You don't lose your weapons or
 armour, or the gold in your bank, they get HALF of your experience,
 but you only lose 10% of yours!

 (Opinion Mode OFF)

    B. What are the Internal Commands for LORD?

   LORD has internal commands that the player can toggle to override
 settings.  Hitting the number "1" on your keyboard will display the
 stats of the current game, including how much gold can be transferred
 at once and how many times.  The number "2" is used for toggling RIP
 on and off; and "3" is used for turning ANSI colours on and off.

     i. What are All The Daily Happenings?

  More children are missing today.
  A small girl was missing today.
  The town is in grief.  Several children didn't come home today.
  Dragon sighting reported today by a drunken old man.
  Despair covers the land - more bloody remains have been found today.
  A group of children did not return from a nature walk today.
  The land is in chaos today.  Will the abductions ever stop?
  Dragon scales have been found in the forest today..Old or new?
  Several farmers report missing cattle today.
  A Child was found today!  But scared deaf and dumb.

|   ii. What are All the Exiting Quotes?

| The black thing inside rejoices at your departure.
| The very earth groans at your depature.
| The very trees seem to moan as you leave.
| Echoing screams fill the wastelands as you close your eyes.
| Your very soul aches as you wake up from your favorite dream.

|  iii. What are All the Hidden Keys?

|  Hidden keys are the bread and butter of text games, and there's a
|lot more to LORD than just the Jennie code... [4]

|  In the Forest:
| A - You brandish your weapon dramatically.
| D - Your Death Knight skills cannot help you here.
| M - Your Mystical skills cannot help you here.
| T - Your Thieving skills cannot help you here.

|  During Combat:
| Q - You are in combat!  Try running.
| D - You don't know any at the moment!
| M - You don't know any at the moment!
| T - You don't know any at the moment!
| S - X's Stats...
| H - You are in combat, and they don't make house calls!
| L - What?!  You want to fight two at once?

|  Also you can hit R on the Main Menu to Read your Mail, but there's
|not much chance it'll do much as the mail display is automatic.

|   C. How has LORD Evolved?
|  When Seth was around 14, he had an Amiga BBS, it had virtually no
|doors, and he needed something to get people to call every day to
|use the message bases and to keep the place active.  So he made LORD
|v1.0 for the TAG BBS system.

    D. How Popular is LORD?  (Or Why Seth's BBS is So Big)

   Current # of Legally Registered LORD games: 20,000+
 You do the math.


  ** Facets of Game Play **

  II. The Skills

   Everybody's got a talent!  Fortunately you get to pick yours, and
 whatever you learn, you never forget.
|  You may notice that sometimes a player will have their mastered skill
|letter in bright white instead of the normal colours.  That means
|they've "Ultra Mastered" it, with 40 skill points.

    A. Death Knight

   The Death Knights are a dark clan of warriors.  Priding themselves
 with their strength and sense of justice, they are the most powerful
 attack skill.

     i. Learning More Skills

   Learning Death Knight skills is pure random.  Once they take you to
 their castle, hit either 1 or 2 and think happy thoughts.

    B. Mystical Skills

   The resident Mystic is a crazy old geezer, but he has knowledge in
 the ways of the For... er, magic!  The spells he teaches you are:

  Pinch Real Hard (1)  - Basic damage, more than normal attack.
  Disappear       (4)  - Guarantees a safe escape from your foe.
  Heat Wave       (8)  - Quite powerful, at par with a Death Knight.
  Light Shield    (12) - Halves the damage you take, essential.
  Shatter         (16) - Incredibly powerful, can be worth 2 DK's.
  Mind Heal       (20) - Completely heal yourself!

   All of the defensive spells can be cast on yourself regardless of the
 level of the player you are fighting, as opposed to offensive spells
 that can only be used on higher level players.

     i. Learning More Skills

   Learning Mystical Skills takes some thought, naturally.  6 guesses
 for a number between 1 and 100, JUST enough.  The trick is narrowing it
 down.  Always start at 50, then 25 or 75, then keep halving until you
 get to your sixth guess, and GUESS!  Sometimes you get it right,
 sometimes you don't.  It's a good idea to round DOWN with your guesses,
 instead of say, 62, try 61 instead.  No guarantees though! :-)

    C. Thievery

   Cunning, deceit, and treachery are the morals of a Thief.  Thief
 Skills are good against minor enemies in the forest.  Saving your
 Death Knights for the bigger enemies or higher players.

     i. Learning More Skills

   Learning Thief Skills is easy -- just have a gem on you when they
 show up.  If you don't have one, Spitting will get you a better
 response than Mumbling, but either will make them go away.


 III. Turgon's Warrior Training

   Turgon's is where it all happens... Your levels, your stats, and the
 skill level of your current affiliation.  Everything depends on
 advancing at Turgon's.  If you're reading the FAQ to find out if you'll
 like LORD, or are just curious, then you'll want to know that in the
 unregistered version, you cannot advance past level 6.
   Also, in the unlikely (and pathetic) event you LOSE to a Master, they
 don't kill you, and even restore your hitpoints.  However, you have to
 wait until tomorrow to try again.

    A. The Masters and their Skills

   Each Master is a master at what they do -- fighting at their level.
 However they WANT players to get to a higher level, mainly because
 they're too chicken to fight the Dragon themselves.  So you can easily
 beat them with decent weapons and armour.
   Their weapons are:

          Halder  Short Sword
           Barak  Battle Axe
         Aragorn  Twin Swords
         Olodrin  Power Axe
       Sandtiger  Blessed Sword
        Sparhawk  Double Bladed Sword
   Atsuko Sensei  Huge Curved Blade
         Aladdin  Shiny Lamp
  Prince Caspian  Flashing Rapier
         Gandalf  Huge Fireballs
          Turgon  Ables Sword

     i. Words of Wisdom

   All these text lists are for their regular dialogue, when you are
 ready to raise a level, and when you beat them.  These are (sic) so
 all typos are Copyright Seth Able.


  "Hi there.  Although I may not look muscular, I ain't all
  that weak.  You cannot advance to another Master until you
  can best me in battle.  I don't really have any advice
  except wear a groin cup at all times.  I learned the hard

  "Gee, your muscles are getting bigger than mine...

  Belar!!!  You are truly a great warrior!


  "You are now level two, and a respected warrior.
  Try talking to the Bartender, he will see you now.  He
  is a worthy asset... Remember, your ultimate goal is
  to reach Ultimate Warrior status, which is level twelve."

  "You know, you are actually getting pretty good with
  that thing..."

  Children Of Mara!!!  You have bested me??!


  "You are now level three, and you are actually becoming
  well known in the realm.  I heard your name being mentioned
  by Violet.... Ye Gods she's hot...."

  "You have learned everything I can teach you."

  Torak's Eye!!!  You are a great warrior!


  "You are now level four.  But don't get cocky - There
  are many in the realm that could kick your...  Nevermind,
  I'm just not good at being insperational."

  "You're becoming a very skilled warrior."

  Ye Gods!!  You are a master warrior!


  "You are now level five..Not bad...Not bad at all..
  I am called Sandtiger - Because.. Actually I can't
  remember why people call me that.  Oh - Don't pay attention"
  to that stupid bartender - I could make a much better one.

  "Gee - You really know how to handle your shaft!"

  Very impressive...Very VERY impressive.


  "You are level six!  Vengeance is yours!
  You can now beat up on all those young punks that made
  fun of you when you were level 1.  This patch?  Oh - I
  lost my eye when I fell on my sword after tripping
  over a gopher.  If you tell anyone this, I'll hunt you

  "You're getting the hang of it now!"

  This Battle is yours...You have fought with honor.

 Atsuko Sensei

  "Even in my country,  you would be considered a good
  warrior.  But you have much to learn.  Remember to
  always respect your teachers, for it is right."

  "You are ready to be tested on the battle field!"

  Even though you beat me, I am proud of you.


  "You are now level eight.  Remember, do not use your
  great strength in bullying the other warriors.  Do not
  be a braggart.  Be humble, and remember, honor is everything."

  "You REALLY know how to use your <weapon>!!!"  <-- Current Weapon

  I don't need a genie to see that you beat me, man!

 Prince Caspian

  "You are now level nine.  You have traveled far on the
  road of hardships,  but what doesn't kill you, only
  makes you stronger.  Never stop fighting.

  "Something tells me you are as good as I am now.."

  Good show, chap!  Jolly good show!


  "You are now level ten.. A true honor!
  Do not stop now... You may be the one to rid the realm
  of the Red Dragon yet...  Only two more levels to go
  until you are the greatest warrior in the land."

  "You're becoming a very skilled warrior.

  Torak's Tooth!  You are great!


  "I am Turgon, son.  The greatest warrior in the realm.
  You are a great warrior, and if you best me, you must
  find and kill the Red Dragon.  I have every faith in you."

  "You are truly the BEST warrior in the realm."

  You are a master warrior!

  You pay your respects to Turgon, and stroll around the grounds.
  Lesser warriors bow low as you pass.  Turgon's last words advise
  you to find and kill the Red Dragon..

    ii. Turgon PUMPS <CLAP> YOU UP!!!

   So far, the player editor doesn't automatically adjust your stats for
 changing weapons, armour, and levels.  It's handled inside the game.
 So, if you're in the situation where you need to reset players to their
 normal stats, (say, after removing a player-enhancing 3rd party util),
 then here's the list of normal stats after gaining levels (with normal
 totals, in case you lost your calculator).  Remember, this is for base
 level stats, with a Stick (+5) and Cloth (+1), and doesn't count gems
 given to the bartender.

         ***GAIN***          Experience         ***TOTAL***
   Level   HP   STR   DEF      Needed     Level   HP   STR   DEF
     1     20    10     1             1     1     20    10     1
     2     10     5     2           100     2     30    15     3
     3     15     7     3           400     3     45    22     6
     4     20    10     5         1,000     4     65    32    11
     5     30    12    10         4,000     5     95    44    21
     6     50    20    15        10,000     6    145    64    36
     7     75    35    22        40,000     7    220    99    58
     8    125    50    35       100,000     8    345   149    93
     9    185    75    60       400,000     9    530   224   153
    10    250   110    80     1,000,000    10    780   334   233
    11    350   150   120     4,000,000    11   1130   484   353
    12    550   200   150    10,000,000    12   1680   684   503

    B. The Hall of Honours

   The Hall is to honour those brave warriors who have slain the Dragon,
 and to keep a running tally of how many times the Dragon has been
 "reincarnated".  9 Lives doesn't cut it with a few dozen people hacking
 out your heart y'know.  Then again, the default number of times needed
 to "beat" the game is 10.

     i. The More the Merrier!

   While usually only you are reset when you beat the Red Dragon, after
 someone wins the 10th time, or whatever the amount is set to, the
 entire game is reset and you get a "final" ending.  After you win 10
 times, you and most other people will probably "be all they can be",
 namely 40 skills for each character-type.  After that, it gets a little
 dull, but you or your SysOp can set it however they want.


  IV. Charm and Interaction

   While most people playing LORD will kill you if they can, simply for
 the experience, some people will dislike you with a passion, and you
 will probably end the day by one of you getting killed.  Even so, your
 charm level affects how you get along with the people who want to "get
 along" with you.

    A. Popular Opinion

   It really doesn't matter WHAT the peasants think of you, simply
 because there aren't any for you to deal with.  However, it DOES add a
 nice touch, and an ego boost.  To see what the people think of you, and
 various statistics about how the game is configured, hit "1" from the
 Town Square (Main Menu).

     i. Charm Levels and Your Image

   This is it!  The whole list of what people think of you as you gain
 charm, from 0 to 100.

  is the ugliest person in the realm. Easily.
  looks like a fresh piece of troll dung.
  needs a wizard to fix that ugly mug!
  is so ugly he makes Barak look good!
  has arms are made of noodles.
  is so dumb, he doesn't know how dumb he is.
  isn't what you would call good, or even ok looking.
  reminds me of a cabbage.
  gives new meaning to the word 'dingleberry'.
  needs to learn the meaning of 'showering'.
  scares small children with his face!
  isn't the ugliest mother, but he looks like a woman.
  doesn't have very proud parents.
  makes women give up on the male race.
  isn't what you would call 'handsome'...
  isn't troll dung, but he ain't that great either.
  is better then other fellows out there.  A few anyway.
  should be the birthcontrol spokesperson.
  is ok..If you don't care about outward appearances.
  is ok, except his left eye is always looking at his right.
  is alright looking...After 10 mugs of ale.
  makes halder seem ultra cool.
  has a nice face - but his body is of an Old Woman!
  is a nice boy.  But only a boy
  wouldn't be so bad if his breasts didn't sag like an Old Womans!
  must be a level one boy, he's so weak.
  is only one step away from good looking..But a long one.
  screams like a woman when he is scared!
  drinks milk at the Inn!
  always smells like Violet's perfume!
  is very average looking.  Not bad at all.
  is fine except for that huge nose!
  is a pretty boy, but with no heart.
  is fine, but he wears lipstick.
  is fairly strapping, but his hair is SOOO long!
  is definatly above average - but only just.
  has an honest face.  But does that mean he's honest?
  is a lady killer.  Literally.
  face doesn't hurt the eyes, but he is no Seth Able!
  has a great body, but a bad complexion.
  looks good - but seems a little superficial.
  is rather attractive.. Not at all ugly.
  is a very suitable suitor..
  seems to use deodorant, a definate plus.
  is very sweet.  In his own way.
  is definitley a good catch.
  is nice in body and spirit.
  would make a good father.
  seems to have a lot going for him.
  likes to help the elderly, very decent of him.
  is a very good man - been through a lot.
  is very secure and sure of himself.
  has an irresistable lopsided grin.
  has a beautiful body.
  is a wonderful warrior.
  is a hero, a very good man to have around.
  has mighty pecks!
  has a huge amount of honor.
  has many virtues, including putting the lid down.
  is smart enough to run if he has to.
  can quaff more liquor an an hour then anyone!
  is a real man.  A knocka knocka knockout!
  is quite a nice chuck of meat.
  has features chiseled in stone.
  has muscles hard as rock - yet a sensitive side.
  rocks the world with every blow.
  is a noble individual.
  can drink a river and not burst.  Yes it's true.
  would give his life for his love.
  can supposedly please a woman all night.
  makes the Baldwin brothers look like schoolboys.
  makes Stallone look like he needs to workout.
  is like a medieval Fabio!
  has lots of women chasing him.
  is grade A male - With a nice T-Bone!
  is too sexy for his hat.  What do you think of that?
  is note a fake, he is for real.
  is so muscular, his breast are larger then most womens!
  makes women quiver at the slightest touch.
  dances better then anyone in the village!
  has a sexier accent then Byrk almost!
  makes Jason Priestly look homely!
  sings nearly as good as Seth Able.
  has a better sense of humor than Tim Allen.
  does NOT shop at the goodwill.
  A very good syne.
  would look handsome no matter what clothes he wore.
  is very nearly the perfect looking man.
  is an absolute dream!
  looks a bit like Elvis - (When he looked good)
  could lift a house if he had to!
  has a better top ten list then David Letterman!
  has a smile like butter!
  is so good looking he makes people varclempht!
  must have been modeled after Hurcules!
  makes women go insane!  So hot!
  is truly a work of art.
  is as good looking as Seth Able!
  makes womens chemicals boil!
  will hold a woman afterwords!
  is the IT.  There is no one better looking.
  has a God Like body, and soul to match.

  is a cow - Not even a good looking one.
  is so ugly she makes The Old Woman look good!
  has breasts that sag hugely.
  is so dumb, she doesn't know how dumb she is.
  scares small children with her face!
  doesn't make it easy to tell her gender.
  is a little on the hefty side. (Moo)
  isn't what you would call 'pretty'...
  isn't a cow, but she ain't that great either.
  is better then other women out there.  A few anyway.
  is ok, except her left eye is always looking at her right.
  makes Roseanne seem thin.
  has a nice face - but her body is of 10 year old boy!
  is a nice girl.  But only girl
  doesn't seem to possess a thing called breasts.
  doesn't seem to like to comb her hair.
  seems to ALWAYS smell funky.
  wouldn't look that bad, if she washed.
  always smells like Seths cologne!
  is a pretty girl, but with no heart.
  is fine, but she wears a jockstrap.
  is fairly cute, but her hair is too short.
  has an honest face.  But does that mean she's honest?
  is a man killer.  Literally.
  face doesn't hurt the eyes, but she is no Violet!
  is a very suitable woman.
  seems to use deodorant, a definite plus.
  is very sweet.  In her own way.
  would make a good mother.
  seems to have a lot going for her.
  likes to help the elderly, very decent of her.
  is a very good woman - been through a lot.
  is very secure and sure of herself.
  has more curves then a circle!
  looks like Shannen Doherty!
  has very large er, tracts of land.
  has a voice like a trickling stream.
  has many virtues, including not nagging!
  is smart enough to watch 90210!
  always seems to smell like a rose.
  is a real woman!  A knocka knocka knockout!
  looks like a blond, yet is smart.
  looks so good, she should be in a rag mag!
  could make a eunuch grow a tree!
  is sweet package of trusting beauty.
  is a blue jean baby queen.
  would give her life for her love.
  can supposedly please a man all night.
  makes the Olson Twins look like schoolgirls!
  makes Kim Basinger look plain!
  is like a medieval Cindy Crawford!
  has lots of men chasing her.
  is grade A female - With nice mellons!
  is too sexy for her hat.  What do you think of that?
  is note a fake, she is for real.
  is so pretty, she would make a tree hard.
  makes men quiver at the slightest touch.
  makes Jennie Garth look homely!
  commands love by just walking by.
  would look wonderful no matter what clothes she wore.
  is very nearly the perfect looking woman.
  looks a bit like Shirly Temple - (When she looked good)
  makes men tingle like when they climbed the rope in.
  has a smile more beautiful then the sunrise.
  is so good looking she makes people varclempht!
  must have been modeled after a model.
  makes men go insane!  So hot!
  is as good looking as Violet!
  makes mens chemicals boil!
  will still be there in the morning!
  has a fantastic body, and soul to match.

    B. Real-Life Options

   Even fantasy has to have some semblance of reality.  While most
 relationships in LORD rarely last long, they do offer an escape from
 the old kill-kill-kill routine.

|    i. Mail

|  What's the good of a multi-player game if you can't talk to other
|people?  You can enter in any message you like, but if you enter no
|message at all, the default ones get sent: [3]

| Didn't I see you on that table in the Dark Cloak tavern?
| Greetings.  How fare you, traveler?
| How goes it, fellow adventurer?
| Sorry - I forgot what I was going to say, old bean.
| Well met.  Any news you can share?

|  If you decide to send a message to yourself:

| Mail sent!
| You are a very stupid individual.
| [Hit "Y" to reply to the message]

    ii. Romance

   Romance isn't dead... At least not until you kill whoever you're
 interested in.  Even then love may prevail.  Here's how you go about
 it.  Write mail to a player that is the opposite gender as you (look
 for the "F" before their name in the Player Listing, depending on if
 YOU have an "F" before your name or not, choose the opposite <g>), and
 say Yes to write romantic mail to them.  After you choose what to do,
 you can either use the default message or write your own little poem.
   (I'm not able to test ALL of these phrases, so if you KNOW and can
 PROVE that one of the phrases is listed under the wrong gender, please
 tell me.  Of course some might apply to both...  The ones I'm not sure
 about are marked with a "*")


 Flatter Her
  I like, um, think you are, uh, nice?
  You are just as cute as my dog!
  You have like, big uh, thingies.
  Your lips are like roses.
  May I drink in your beauty?
  You're a tankard of joy!
 *I'd pick up yer hankie anywheres! Hyuck!

 Ask For A Kiss
  Gimmie a kiss, woman!
  Git over here, you!
  Please give me the honor of touching your lips.
  I'm an explorer.  Can I explore your mouth?
  Kiss me, I use a mouth wash!
  Uh, if you kiss me, I'll turn back into a prince.

 Buy Her Dinner
  Please let me buy you dinner.  It will be good.
  Let me take you out - I won't expect you to put out!
  No obligations - Just dinner, baby.
  You ever eat at the Red Dragon Inn?  It's on me.
  Come on sweet thing, I know you wanna eat!!
  Please?  I'll cook Dragon for ya!
  I'm not a feminist, but I'll pay for it!

 Invite Her To Your Room At The Inn
  Um, do you uh, um, think you could, uh.. wanna do it?
  Glorious girl.  Please be my valentine.  Tonight.
  Come take a ride on the wild stallion, baby!
  Make me a man tonight, honey!  Pleeeeeease?!
  I know you want my body, I know you think I'm sexy...
 *I've been waiting to ask you all my life for this.

 Propose To Her
  Would you do me the honor of being my wife?
  I love you, Marry me.
  Be my wife.  Make me the happiest man in the world.
  Please - I've watched you for the longest time..
  Say yes!  It's such a wonderful easy word!


 Flatter Him
 *I like the way you kill people.
 *I've been watching you for a while...
  Might I let you know that you are handsome?
  Ya wanna do something sometime, somewhere?

 Ask For A Kiss
  Kiss me you big hunk oh man!
  Pleeeeeeeeease kiss me!
  I'm an adventurer.  Can I explore your mouth?
  If you kiss me, our relationship might grow.
  Kiss me, lover!  I brush regularly.
  Can I teach you a french custom I know?

 Buy Him Dinner
 *Pleeeeeeeeease let me buy you a warm meal. I'll cook it myself!
 *A woman's place is the kitchen!
  If you're not busy, I'd REALLY apreciate the company.
  I'll give you a real meal - Not crap.
  If you clean your plate, I'll even dance for you!

 Invite Him To Your Room At The Inn
  I'll pleasure you like no one has ever pleasured a man.
  Say yes, honey.  I swear I'll be here in the morning.
  Say yes.  Your body says yes, listen to it.
  Do it!  I swear I've been tested recently..I think?
  You'll never regret a night spent with me, studmuffin.
  If you say no, I'll never ask again!

 Propose To Him
 *I cannot live another day without you.
  Would you do me the honor of being my husband?
  Be mine.
  Make me the happiest woman in the world.
  Marry me...So I can say "I gotta man!"...
  I've put my heart on my sleeve.  Don't break it.

   iii. Marriage

   Life begins at 50, marriage at 100, charm that is...  Once you have
 100 charm, you can marry Violet, or any player of the opposite gender,
 (if they don't refuse you!).  Female players need 125 charm to marry
 the Bard.

    iv. Kids

   Having a kid gives you an extra forest fight per day.  New in 3.26a
 is, during a forest fight, your kid -- now grown up -- will sneak up
|behind your enemy if you're in trouble.  Your kids will hit the enemy
|for some damage, the enemy will be distracted and ALWAYS kill the kid.
|The battle will then resume. [1]

     v. Divorce

   50% of all real life marriages end in divorce, and in LORD, they tend
 to come and go in weeks.  After you get dumped, or dump someone, each
 person's charm levels get set to 50.  Female players who get divorced
 from the Bard will have their charm levels drop to 30.  You always get
 to keep your kids, even with 2 players divorced.

    C. Slitting Throats

   Killing people is the most fun thing in LORD.  It's also the only
 sensible way to gain levels.  Plus getting to brag or cry about it in
 the daily news lets the other users have a laugh at your (mis)fortune.
 Killing players online is the best way to get your heart racing, but
 you might not even want to go into a LORD game if someone else is
 online and they are a much higher level than you are.  Also, it's not
 very kind (and hardly worth it) to kill players that are a lot lower
 just because they're online, or even in the forest.

     i. Keep Coming Back for More!

   One of the better things about LORD is that you need not get
 discouraged from getting killed.  You only lose 10% of your experience,
 the gold you are carrying, and if another user kills you, (but not you
 being killed in self-defence by the user you were attacking) your gems.

    ii. Higher and Lower Levels

   It's usually a piece of cake killing lower level players, so you can
|not kill someone more than 1 level down in the Inn when you Bribe the
 bartender.  However, if the player has been resurrected, or is in the
 forest, anyone is fair game (if they're playing fair!).
   When fighting higher level players, you must be aware of two things.
 Their stats are significantly higher, and they may be able to afford
 better weapons and armour than you.  More than a 100 point gap between
 your and their stats is a good reason to forget the whole thing.
   You do have some advantage however, if the player you are fighting is
 a higher level than you, you can use Power Moves on them.  This usually
 does it, but often you'll find even that only hits them for 1 damage,
 and many times they'll hit you first and you're gone in one shot.

   iii. The Art of Boasting

   If, after a long and hard battle you come out victorious, it's fun to
 tell the world how well you did.  Or, if you get waxed, you can let your
 frustration out.  Here's how things look when you share your wisdom:

  Happy      - "Haha!" laughs X.
  Sad        - "<sob>" X declares sadly.
  Moaning    - "Noooo..." moans X.
  Cursing    - "Drat!" curses X.
  Effing Mad - "ARRRG!" screams X in anger.

|  You can also scratch something in the dirt, as long as you've gained
|enough "experience", meaning you must have killed someone.  It's in the
|Slaughter Other Players menu.

|           ** EXAMINING THE DIRT **
| The town elders have named X the most dangerous
| warrior in the realm with a whopping ## kills.


  ** Meet the Locals **

   V. The Inn

   The Inn is where the locals come to rest their weary bones, have an
 ale, sleep in comfort and relative safety, and mingle with the other

    A. The Bartender

   The bartender is the grimiest pub lout for miles, and he OWNS the
 place!  Known for hitting on any female in sight, he won't even TALK
 to a level 1 player.

     i. Gems

   This is where Gems are really useful, for 2 gems you can have a stat
 increased by one point.  Unless you want to get a nice round number, I
 suggest you always choose Defense (Vitality).
|  I've found that in LORD, certain keys will have the same effect of
|the recommended selection (such as Y or N).  So if all you want is
|more Defense points, just hold down the 'G' key when you're talking to
|the bartender!
|  Remember that in the Forest, the Old Hag will heal you AND add a hit
|point for a single gem. [2]

    ii. The Snooze 'n Slash

   It's not safe outside, everybody knows that.  So for a modest fee you
 can stay at the Inn...  And for highway robbery you can borrow the room
 keys and kill anyone you feel like!  If everyone looks too tough for
 you, the bartender will be a sport and give you half your money back.
|  You might like to know that if you have 101 or more charm, the
|bartender will let you stay for free.  The amount of charm needed was
|a lot lower in previous versions. [3]

|Level  1    2    3    4    5    6     7     8     9    10    11    12
|Stay  400  800 1200 1600 2000 2400  2800  3200  3600  4000  4400  4800
|Bribe N/A 3200 4800 6400 8000 9600 11200 12800 14400 16000 17600 19200

   iii. Changing Your Name

   If you get bored of your name, or if people have a grudge against you
 and start to kill you all the time, you may wish to change your name.
 However, certain names are trademarked and you can't just go around
 impersonating people...

  ** Naw, the real Barak would decapitate you if he found out. **

  ** You are not Seth Able!  Don't take his name in vain! **

  Seth Able
  ** You are not God! **

  ** Haw.  Hardly - Turgon has muscles. **

  ** Haw.  Hardly - Violet has breasts. **

  Red Dragon
  ** Oh go plague some other land! **

  ** You ain't Bruce Lee, so get out! **

  ** Nah, the bartender is smarter than you! **

  ** Why not go take a chance with a rattlesnake? **
    B. Violet

   Turgon's daughter is the most beautiful woman in the realm.  Don't
 call her a harlot though!  She chooses who she likes herself...

     i. Charm Levels

   Charm levels needed for flirting are as follows, with the amount of
|experience based of your level in brackets: [2]

|   1 - Wink                  (5 Exp * Level)
|   2 - Kiss Her Hand        (10 Exp * Level)
|   4 - Peck Her On The Lips (20 Exp * Level)
|   8 - Sit Her On Your Lap  (30 Exp * Level)
|  16 - Grab Her Backside    (40 Exp * Level)
|  32 - Carry Her Upstairs   (40 Exp * Level)
| 100 - Marry Her            (1000 Exp * Level)

    ii. Grizelda (or When Not to Flirt)

  You whistle loudly for the barmaid, hardly containing your glee at
  the thought of patting Violet's soft supple hips, but when you pat...


  The obese barmaid intruduces her portly self as Grizelda!

  You remember now that Violet quit work when she married you!

  You feel sorry for all the other warriors who must suffer at the
  hands of Grizelda.


  You suddenly remember seeing something in the news about X marrying
  Violet!  As Grizelda grabs you for a kiss, her buckteeth jab you
  painfully.  You curse X as you scream in horror.

    C. Seth Able the Bard

   Seth is a gallant, noble minstrel, whose songs inspire warriors in
 their plight against freeing the world of the cursed Red Dragon.

     i. Charm Levels

   Charm levels needed for flirting are as follows, with the amount of
|experience based of your level in brackets: [2]

|   1 - Wink                             (5 Exp * Level)
|   2 - Flutter Eyelashes               (10 Exp * Level)
|   4 - Drop Hanky                      (20 Exp * Level)
|   8 - Ask The Bard to Buy You a Drink (30 Exp * Level)
|  16 - Kiss the Bard Soundly           (40 Exp * Level)
|  32 - Completly Seduce The Bard       (40 Exp * Level)
| 125 - Marry Him                       (None)

|  If you're married to Seth and you try to Flirt with him, he'll might
|say one of these things:

| "I love you too, honey!"
| "I'd love to sweetie, but duty calls."
| "After work, you're mine!" he laughs.
| "Later, honey!" Seth winks hugely at you.
| "We'll have plenty of time for that tonight!"
| In the roar of the crowd, he doesn't hear.
| Seth gives you a quick peck on the cheek.
| You don't wish to bother your busy husband.

    ii. Minstrel Sayings
   Seth has the ability to help warriors out through his songs.  Here
 is his lyrics sheet, and how each song makes you feel.

  ..."There once was a warrior, with a beard"...
  ..."He had a power, yes X was feared"...
  ..."Nothing he did, could ever be wrong"...
  ..."He was quick, and he was strong"...
  The song makes you feel powerful!

  ..."There once was a woman, of exceeding fame"...
  ..."She had a power, X was her name"...
  ..."Nothing she did, could ever be wrong"...
  ..."She was quick, and she was strong"...
  The song makes you feel powerful!

  ..."Waiting in the forest, waiting for his prey"...
  ..."X didn't care what they would say"...
  ..."He killed in the town, the lands"...
  ..."He wanted evil's blood, on his hands"...
  ..."A true man was X, a warrior proud"...
  ..."He voiced his opinions meekly, never very loud"...
  ..."But he ain't no wimp, he took Violet to bed"...
  ..."He's definately a man, at least that's what she said!"...
  The song makes you glad you are male!

  ..."This is the story, of a bard"...
  ..."Stabbed in the hand, with a shard"...
  ..."They said he'd never play, but they would rue the day"...
  ..."He practiced all the time, becoming good before long"...
  ..."Able got his revenge, by proving them wrong"...
  The song makes you feel sad, yet happy.

  ..."Let me tell you the Legend, of the Red Dragon"...
  ..."They said he was old, that his claws were saggin"...
  ..."It's not so, don't be fooled"...
  ..."He's alive and well, still killing where he ruled"...
  The song makes you feel a strange wonder, an awakening..

  ..."The children are missing, the children are gone"...
  ..."They have no pillow to lay upon,"...
  ..."The hopes of the people are starting to dim"...
  ..."They are gone, because the Dragon has eaten them"...
  Tears run down your face.  You swear you will avenge the children.

  ..."X was a warrior, a man"...
  ..."When he wants to do a thing, he can"...
  ..."To live, to die, it's all the same"...
  ..."But it is better to die, than live in shame"...
  The song makes you feel your heritage.

  ..."X has a story, that must be told"...
  ..."He is already a legend, and he ain't even old"...
  ..."He can drink a river of blood and not burst"...
  ..."He can swallow a desert and never thirst"...
  The hero has inspired you, and in doing so, made you a better

  ..."The Gods have powers, the Gods are just"...
  ..."The Gods help us people, when they must"...
  ..."Gods can heal the sick, even the cancered"...
  ..."Pray to the Gods, and you will be answered"...
  You find yourself wishing for more money."
  (This doubles the amount of gold in your BANK account!)

  ..."X was a warrior, a queen"...
  ..."She was a beauty, and she was mean"...
  ..."She could melt a heart, at a glance"...
  ..."And men would pay, to see her dance!"...
  The song makes you feel pretty!


  VI. The Dark Cloak Tavern

    A. Chance the Bartender

   Chance is an old gambler, he once bet his whole savings on one bet
 and won enough to build this Tavern in the forest.

     i. Changing Your Profession

   Changing your current interest is skills is as easy as changing your
 mind, or at least remembering things differently.

    ii. The Art of Colours

   This is what makes talking so fun.  It's in roughly the same order as
 most colour attribute values, but Black is gone, so `0 is 10.
   Here's the Colour chart:

|   Darker Colours       Lighter Colours
| ------------------   -------------------
|  `1 Dark Blue         `9 Light Blue
|  `2 Dark Green (A)    `0 Light Green
|  `3 Dark Cyan         `! Light Cyan
|  `4 Dark Red          `@ Light Red
|  `5 Dark Purple       `# Light Purple
|  `6 Orange            `$ Yellow
|  `7 White (B)         `% White
|  `8 Dark Grey (C)     `b Blinking Red (D)

|(A) Use to end your name if you have colours in it.
|(B) Both Whites are currently the same.
|(C) Dark Grey will occasionally turn into Black.
|(D) It is limited to certain areas, and some may not work.
|    If you find a place where it DOES work, please tell me!

   iii. Tips on Colourizing Your Name

   Colourizing your name is a great addition to LORD, unfortunately it
 hasn't been fully sorted out, especially when outputting to an ANSI
 screen.  Internally it works great.. Except that not EVERY instance
 after your name is reset to the normal green colour.  So just end your
 name with a `2.
   Also, a one colour name is dull, so try shading.  Light-to-Dark works
 best for looks.  The most versatile one is blue with 5 grades of
 shading, (Bright White, Light Cyan, Light Blue, Dark Blue, Dark Grey),
 it's the best if you have a lot of letters in your Handle.  Use
 whatever looks good, and be original.

    iv. Learning About Your Enemies

   For a price (two or three gems), Chance will show you his records of
 the other players, he can tell you their Weapons and Armour, Strength
 and Defense points, their charm range, total worth in gold, number of
 gems, if they have any kids, if they're married, or have a horse.

    B. The Old Man's Rankings

   The Old Man ranks peoples' "Evilness".  How many times they've slept
 with someone, and a player's Kills.

    C. Gambling

   The Old Man is also a gambler, but usually he spends his time carving
 things into the tables at the Tavern.

     i. The Games

   Some people say gambling takes skill, but in LORD, it's pure luck.
 The games you can play are:

  The old man grabs two wooden mugs from a table and slaps them down
  in front of you upside down.  "Guess which one I hid muh teeth in!"

  "I'll play a game with ya, kid!  I'll bet I can guess what number
  you are thinkin'!"

  The old man walks over to you and hands you a small dagger.  Then he
  moves to the other side of the Tavern, and picks up a tankard of brew
  "I'll bet you can't knock this off my head without getting me wet!"

    ii. The Odds

  Most games are about 51% to 49% in the player's favor.


 VII. The Fairies

   The Fairies are a nice addition to LORD, with a neat ANSI intro.

    A. Blessings

   Ask for a blessing, and ye shall receive.

     i. A Kiss

   A Kiss from Teesha or Nolan heals you.

    ii. Horses

   Horses take you directly to the Dark Cloak Tavern, handy if you want
 to change your Profession without having to wait until you find the
|tavern at random.  You can also lose your horse in a forest fight: [2]

| "Prepare to die, fool!" X screams.
| He takes a Death Crystal from his cloak and throws it at you!
| Your horse moves its huge body to intercept the crystal.


| Tears of anger flow down your cheeks.  Your valiant steed must be
|  avenged.
| A few seconds later, your adversary is dead.
| You bury your horse in a small clearing.  The best friend you ever
|  had.

   iii. Sad Stories

   Sad stories turn your tear into a gem.

    iv. Fairy Lore

   Fairy Lore gets you an amount of experience depending on your level.

     v. Flowers

   Arranging and Reading flowers work like talking at the Inn.  Just as
 a way to talk to other players.  If this gets too long, you might want
 to manually trim the GARDEN.TXT file, but don't delete it!

    B. Catching a Fairy

   Catching a fairy is what you should try if you have gems, don't need
|to be healed, already have a horse, or want to kill the Dragon. [1]

     i. If You Miss

   If you miss, you grab a thornberry bush, and go down to 1 hit point.

    ii. If You Catch One

   If you do catch one, it will revive you the next time you die.
 Be careful though!  Fairies will escape from your pocket when you're
 sleeping, so they're only good for the day you catch them.
   Also, fairies have another -- more secret -- function...  Read on!


 IIX. Ye Olde Shoppe's

    A. Bank On It

   The Bank is where you deposit money so it is safe from being taken by
 other players, or lost when you die.  It gains interest at 10% per day.
|  In case you thought you could advance yourself a loan, you shouldn't
|try and transfer a negative amount of gold. [4]

     i. Stick 'em Up!

   And you thought being a Thief was just those Ultra-Sneaky attacks...
 Well, snag a fairy and you can rob the bank!  The numbers 1-4 display
 "hidden" messages (like they say, used for clicking on pictures in RIP.

  1 - Nice rock.
  2 - You're a thief, find the key.  (Thief)
  2 - Steal?  Never!                 (Not a Thief)
  3 - Maybe there is a Genie in there.
  4 - Look wise guy, these are NOT secret keys.  They say these things
      when you click on pictures in RIP.  Nothing more. (Then again...)

 If you are a Thief and have a Fairy, pressing "2" will get you this:

   ** TRICKY EVENT! **

  The buzzing in your pocket reminds you
  that the little fairy can feel your emotions.


 This will get you an amount of gold, depending on your level.

    B. The Healers

   Not only do you have more hit points you need to heal when your level
 increases, the Healers also jack up their rates!  Just multiply 5 times
 your level to find their cost per hit point.  (ie: Level 1 is 5 GP,
 Level 12 is 60 GP)

     i. RIP it out!

   Those RIP graphics sure make things more interesting...  You never
 know just what you're clicking on.  For the plain ASCII stuff, it's
 a game of numbers.

  1 - I wonder what's cooking..
  2 - Eye am not sure what you're looking at.
  3 - Used to be a patient..  Hmmm.


  ** The Path to Glory **

  IX. Monsters

   What good are all those weapons without something to use them on?
 You can just kill players, but they rarely have gold, so you won't get
 very far without buying better equipment.

    A. The List

   This list is organized in no particular order, my thanks to Joseph
 Masters, for his keen MonEdit PRO v2.0.  Although I would have liked a
 Dump to File option, but that's what my screen capture program is for!
   Each level has 11 monsters, except for the 12th level which doesn't
 count the Red Dragon (this should dispel any myths as to why it's not
   The format of the list is the statistics of the enemy in a row, with
 their Death Phrase (used when they are killed with a power move) below
 it, and a space between each record.  Due to space constrictions, a few
 of the records may be off, and a couple of the Death Phrases had their
 periods truncated (ouch).
   Each level has one (or more!) enemies that are extremely powerful for
 the level you are on, and therefore more deadly depending on your
 Defense points.  These are marked with a "*".

     i. Level 1

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Small Thief                Small Dagger         6    9    56     2
 You disembowel the little thieving menace!

 Rude Boy                   Cudgel               3    7    7      3
 You quietly watch as the very Rude Boy bleeds to death.

 Old Man                    Cane                 5    13   73     4
 You finish him off, by tripping him with his own cane.

 Large Green Rat            Sharp Teeth          3    4    32     1
 A well placed step ends this small rodents life.

 Wild Boar                  Sharp Tusks          10   9    58     5
 You impale the boar between the eyes!

 Ugly Old Hag               Garlic Breath        6    9    109    4
 You emotionally crush the hag, by calling her ugly!

 Large Mosquito             Blood Sucker         2    3    46     2
 With a sharp slap, you end the Mosquitos life.

*Bran The Warrior           Short Sword          12   15   234    10
 After a hardy duel, Bran lies at your feet, dead.

 Evil Wretch                Finger Nail          7    12   76     3
 With a swift boot to her head, you kill her.

 Small Bear                 Claws                9    7    154    6
 After a swift battle, you stand holding the Bears heart!

 Small Troll                Uglyness             6    14   87     5
 This battle reminds you how of how much you hate trolls.

    ii. Level 2

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Green Python               Dripping Fangs       13   17   80     6
 You tie the mighty snake's carcass to a tree.

 Gath The Barbarian         Huge Spiked Club     12   13   134    9
 You knock Gath down, ignoring his constant groaning.

 Evil Wood Nymph            Flirtatios Behavior  15   10   160    11
 You shudder to think of what would have happened, had you given in.

 Fedrick The Limping Baboon Scary Faces          8    23   97     6
 Fredrick will never grunt in anyones face again.

 Wild Man                   Hands                13   14   134    8
 Pitting your wisdom against his brawn has one this battle.

*Brorandia The Viking       Hugely Spiked Mace   21   18   330    20
 You consider this a message to her people, "STAY AWAY!".

 Huge Bald Man              Glare From Forehead  19   19   311    16
 It wasn't even a close battle, you slaughtered him.

 Senile Senior Citizen      Crazy Ravings        13   11   270    13
 You may have just knocked some sense into this old man.

 Membrain Man               Strange Ooze         10   16   190    11
 The monstrosity has been slain.

 Bent River Dryad           Pouring Waterfall    12   16   150    9
 You cannot resist thinking the Dryad is "All wet".

 Rock Man                   Large Stones         8    27   300    12
 You have shattered the Rock Mans head!

   iii. Level 3

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Lazy Bum                   Unwashed Body Odor   19   29   380    18
 "This was a bum deal" You think to yourself.

 Two Headed Rotwieler       Twin Barking         18   32   384    17
 You have silenced the mutt, once and for all.

 Purple Monchichi           Continous Whining    14   29   763    23
 You cant help but realize you have just killed a real loser.

 Bone                       Terrible Smoke Smell 27   11   432    16
 Now that you have killed Bone, maybe he will get a life..

 Red Neck                   Awfull Country Slang 19   16   563    19
 The dismembered body causes a churning in your stomach.

*Winged Demon Of Death      Red Glare            42   23   830    28
 You cut off the Demons head, to be sure of its death.

 Black Owl                  Hooked Beak          28   29   711    26
 A well placed blow knocks the winged creature to the ground.

 Muscled Midget             Low Punch            26   19   870    32
 You laugh as the small man falls to the ground.

 Headbanger Of The West    Ear Shattering Noises 23   27   245    43
 You slay the rowdy noise maker and destroy his evil machines.

 Morbid Walker              Endless Walking      28   10   764    9
 Even lying dead on its back, it is still walking.

 Magical Evil Gnome         Spell Of Fire        24   25   638    28
 The Gnome's small body is covered in a deep red blood.

    iv. Level 4

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Death Dog                  Teeth                36   52   1150   36
 You rejoice as the dog wimpers for the very last time.

 Weak Orc                   Spiked Club          27   32   900    25
 A solid blow removes the Orcs head!

 Dark Elf                   Small bow            43   57   1070   33
 The Elf falls at your feet, dead.

 Evil Hobbit                Smoking Pipe         35   95   1240   46
 The Hobbit will never bother anyone again!

 Short Goblin               Short Sword          34   45   768    24
 A quick lunge renders him dead!

 Huge Black Bear            Razor Claws          67   48   1765   76
 You bearly beat the Huge Bear...

 Rabid Wolf                 Deathlock Fangs      45   39   1400   43
 You pull the dogs lifeless body off you.

 Young Wizard               Weak Magic           64   35   1754   64
 This Wizard will never cast another spell!

 Mud Man                    Mud Balls            56   65   870    43
 You chop up the Mud Man into sushi!

 Death Jester               Horrible Jokes       34   46   1343   32
 You feel no pity for the Jester, his jokes being as bad as they were.

*Rock Man                   Large Stones         87   54   1754   76
 You have shattered the Rock Mans head!

     v. Level 5

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Pandion Knight             Orkos Broadsword     64   59   3100   98
 You are elated in the knowledge that you both fought honorably.

 Jabba                      Whiplashing Tail     61   198  2384   137
 The fat thing falls down, never to squirm again.

 Manoken Sloth              Dripping Paws        54   69   2452   97
 You have cut him down, spraying a neaby tree with blood.

 Trojan Warrior             Twin Swords          73   87   3432   154
 You watch, as the ants claim his body.

 Misfit The Ugly            Strange Ideas        75   89   2563   120
 You cut him cleanly down the middle, in a masterfull stroke.

 George Of The Jungle       Echoing Screams      56   43   2230   128
 You thought the story of George was a myth, until now.

*Silent Death               Pale Smoke           113  98   4711   230
 Instead of spilling blood, the creature seems filled with only air.

 Bald Medusa                Glare Of Stone       78   120  4000   256
 You are lucky you didnt look at her... Man was she ugly!

 Black Alligator            Extra Sharp Teeth    65   65   3245   123
 With a single stroke, you sever the creatures head right off.

 Clancy, Son Of Emporor Len Spiked Bull Whip     52   324  4764   324
 Its a pity so many new warriors get so proud.

 Black Sorcerer             Spell Of Lightning   86   25   2838   154
 Thats the last spell this Sorcerer will ever cast!

    vi. Level 6

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Iron Warrior               3 Iron               100  253  6542   364
 You have bent the Iron warriors Iron!

*Black Soul                 Black Candle         112  432  5865   432
 You have released the black soul.

 Gold Man                   Rock Arm             86   354  8964   493
 You kick the body of the Gold man to reveal some change..

 Screaming Zombie     Gaping Mouth Full Of Teeth 98   286  5322   354
 The battle has rendered the zombie even more unatractive then he was.

 Satans Helper              Pack Of Lies         112  165  7543   453
 Apparently you have seen through the Devils evil tricks

 Wild Stallion              Hoofs                78   245  4643   532
 You only wish you could have spared the animals life.
*Belar                      Fists Of Rage        120  352  9432   565
 Not even Belar can stop you!

 Empty Armour               Cutting Wind         67   390  6431   432
 The whole battle leaves you with a strange chill.

 Raging Lion                Teeth And Claws      98   274  3643   365
 You rip the jaw bone off the magnificient animal!

 Huge Stone Warrior         Rock Fist            112  232  4942   543
 There is nothing left of the stone warrior, except a few pebbles.

 Magical Evil Gnome         Spell Of Fire        89   234  6384   321
 The Gnomes small body is covered in a deep red blood.
   vii. Level 7

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Emporer Len                Lightning Bull Whip  210  432  12043  764
 His last words were.. "I have failed to avenge my son."

*Night Hawk                 Blood Red Talons     220  675  10433  686
 Your last swing pulls the bird out of the air, landing him at your feet

 Charging Rhinoceros        Rather Large Horn    187  454  9853   654
 You finally fell the huge beast, not without a few scratches.

 Goblin Pygmy               Death Squeeze        165  576  13252  754
 You laugh at the little Goblin's puny attack.

 Goliath                    Six Fingered Fist    243  343  14322  898
 Now you know how David felt...

 Angry Liontaur             Arms And Teeth       187  495  13259  753
 You have laid this mythical beast to rest.

 Fallen Angel               Throwing Halos       154  654  12339  483
 You slay the Angel, then watch as it gets sucked down into the ground.

 Wicked Wombat            The Dark Wombats Curse 198  464  13283  786
 It's hard to believe a little wombat like that could be so much trouble

*Massive Dinosaur           Gaping Jaws          200  986  16753  1204
 The earth shakes as the huge beast falls to the ground.

 Swiss Butcher              Meat Cleaver         230  453  8363   532
 You're glad you won...You really didn't want the haircut..

 Death Gnome                Touch Of Death       270  232  10000  654
 You watch as the animals pick away at his flesh.

   iix. Level 8

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Screeching Witch           Spell Of Ice         300  674  19753  2283
 You have silenced the witch's infernal screeching.

 Rundorig                   Poison Claws         330  675  17853  2748
 Rundorig, once your friend, now lays dead before you.

 Wheeler                    Annoying Laugh       250  786  23433  1980
 You rip the wheeler's wheels clean off!

 Death Knight               Huge Silver Sword    287  674  21923  4282
 The Death knight finally falls, not only wounded, but dead.

 Werewolf                   Fangs                230  543  19474  3853
 You have slaughtered the Werewolf. You didn't even need a silver bullet

 Fire Ork                   FireBall             267  674  24933  3942
 You have put out this Fire Orks flame!

 Wans Beast                 Crushing Embrace     193  1243 17141  2432
 The hairy thing has finally stopped moving.

 Lord Mathese               Fencing Sword        245  875  24935  2422
 You have wiped the sneer off his face once and for all.

*King Vidion                Long Sword Of Death  400  1243 28575  6764
 You feel lucky to have lived, things could have gone sour..

 Baby Dragon                Dragon Smoke         176  2322 25863  3675
 This Baby Dragon will never grow up.

 Death Gnome                Touch Of Death       356  870  31638  2300
 You watch as the animals pick away at his flesh.

    ix. Level 9

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Pink Elephant              Stomping             434  1232 33844  7843
 You have witnessed the Pink Elephant...And you aren't even drunk!

 Gwendolens Nightmare       Dreams               490  764  35846  8232
 This is the first Nightmare you have put to sleep.

 Flying Cobra               Poison Fangs         400  1123 37694  8433
 The creature falls to the ground with a sickening thud.

 Rentakis Pet               Gaping Maw           556  987  37584  9854
 You vow to find Rentaki and tell him what you think about his new pet.

 Ernest Brown               Knee                 432  2488 34833  9754
 Ernest has finally learned his lesson it seems.

 Scallian Rap              Way Of Hurting People 601  788  22430  6784
 Scallians dead...Looks like you took out the trash...

 Apeman                     Hairy Hands          498  1283 38955  7202
 The battle is over...Nothing is left but blood and hair.

 Hemo-Glob                  Weak Insults         212  1232 27853  4432
 The battle is over.. And you really didn't find him particularly scary.

 FrankenMoose               Butting Head         455  1221 31221  5433
 That Moose was a perversion of nature!

*Earth Shaker               Earthquake           767  985  37565  7432
 The battle is over...And it looks like you shook him up...

 Gollums Wrath              Ring Of Invisibility 621  2344 42533  13544
 Gollums ring apparently wasn't powerfull enough.

     x. Level 10

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
*Toraks Son, Korak          Sword Of Lightning   921  1384 46575  13877
 You have slain the son of a God!  You ARE great!

 Brand The Wanderer       Fighting Quarter Staff 643  2788 38755  13744
 Brand will wander no more.

 The Grimest Reaper         White Sickle         878  1674 39844  14237
 You have killed that which was already dead.  Odd.

 Death Dealer              Stare Of Paralization 765  1764 47333  13877
 The Death Dealer has been has been delt his last hand.
 Tiger Of The Deep Jungle   Eye Of The Tiger     587  3101 43933  9766
 The Tiger's cubs weep over their dead mother.

*Sweet Looking Little Girl  Demon Strike         989  1232 52322  14534
 If it wasn't for her manners, you might have got along with her.

*Floating Evil Eye          Evil Stare           776  2232 43233  13455
 You really didn't like the look of that Eye...

 Slock                      Swamp Slime          744  1675 56444  14333
 Walking away fromm the battle, you nearly slip on the thing's slime.

 Adult Gold Dragon          Dragon Fire          565  3222 56444  15364
 He was strong, but you were stronger.

*Kill Joy                   Terrible Stench      988  3222 168844 25766
 Kill Joy has fallen, and can't get up.

 Black Sorcerer             Spell Of Lightning   86   25   2838   187
 Thats the last spell this Sorcerer will ever cast!

    xi. Level 11

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
 Gorma The Leper            Contagous Desease    1132 2766 168774 26333
 It looks like the lepers fighting stratagy has fallen apart..

 Shogun Warrior             Japanese Nortaki     1143 3878 165433 26555
 He was tough, but not nearly tough enough.

 Apparently Weak Old Woman  *GODS HAMMER*        1543 1878 173522 37762
 You pull back the old womans hood, to reveal an eyeless skull.

 Ables Creature             Bear Hug             985  2455 176775 28222
 That was a mighty creature.  Created by a mighty man.

*White Bear Of Lore         Snow Of Death        1344 1875 65544  16775
 The White Bear Of Lore DOES exist you've found.  Too bad it's now dead.

*Mountain                   Landslide            1544 1284 186454 38774
 You have knocked the mountain to the ground.  Now it IS the ground.

 Sheena The Shapechanger    Deadly Illusions     1463 1898 165755 26655
 Sheena is now a quivering mass of flesh.  Her last shapechange.

*ShadowStormWarrior         Mystical Storm       1655 2767 162445 26181
 The storm is over, and the sunshine greets you as the victor.

 Madman                     Chant Of Insanity    1265 1764 149564 25665
 Madman must have been mad to think he could beat you!

 Vegetable Creature         Pickled Cabbage      111  172  4838   2187
 For once you finished off your greens...

*Cyclops Warrior            Fire Eye             1744 2899 204000 49299
 The dead Cyclop's one eye stares at you blankly.

   xii. Level 12

 Name                       Weapon               STR  HP   GP     EXP
*Corinthian Giant           De-rooted Tree       2400 2544 336643 60333
 You hope the giant has brothers, more sport for you.

 The Screaming Eunich       High Pitched Voice   1488 2877 197888 78884
 If it wasn't for his ugly features, you thought he looked female.

 Black Warlock              Satanic Choruses     1366 2767 168483 58989
 You have slain Satan's only son.

 Kal Torak                  Cthrek Goru          876  6666 447774 94663
 You have slain a God!  You are the ultimate warrior!

 The Mighty Shadow          Shadow Axe           1633 2332 176333 51655
 The mighty Shadow is now only a Shadow of his former self.
 Black Unicorn              Shredding Horn       1899 1587 336693 41738
 You have felled the Unicorn, not the first, not the last.

*Mutated Black Widow        Venom Bite           2575 1276 434370 98993
 A well placed stomp ends this Spider's life.

 Humongous Black Wyre       Death Talons         1166 3453 653834 76000
 The Wyre's dead carcass covers the whole field!

 The Wizard Of Darkness     Chant Of Insanity    1497 1383 224964 39878
 This Wizard of Darkness will never bother you again

 Great Ogre Of The North    Spiked Steel Mace    1800 2878 524838 112833
 No one is going to call him The "Great" Ogre Of The North again.


   X. The Dragon

    A. Kickin' His Butt

  You approach the lair of the Red Dragon concealed by darkness.
  The mountain looms high before you.  In the front is a huge cave...
  peering from that cave are two blood red eyes.  Those glaring eyes
  strike fear into you...and the dragons fire-hot breath warms you
  even from this far away.

     i. Nasty Bugger

   With version 3.26, Seth beefed up the Dragon, and people across the
 globe are hurting for it.  The Dragon now has *4* different attacks,
 all doing different ranges of damage.  Needless to say, you'll want to
 grab a fairy before tackling him.

   Flaming Breath - This can hit you for at least 1,000.  Two of them,
 and you're probably going to be smokin' like a bad Pop Tart.  Worst
 thing is, it doesn't seem to matter what your defense is at!  The
 Dragon KNOWS what this will do.  May the luck of the warrior be with
 you...  You'll need it!

   Stomping The Ground, Huge Claw, and Swishing Tail all do varying
 amounts of damage...

   15,000 Hit Points, up 2,500 from v3.25b.  Worth an extra Death
 Knight.  Thanks Seth...

    ii. The Good, The Bad, and The Lucky

  ** GOOD **
  You have defeated the Dragon, and saved the town.  Your stomach
  churns at the site of stacks of clean white bones - Bones of small


  ** BAD **
  The Dragon pauses to look at you, then snorts in a Dragon laugh, and
  delicately rips your head off, with the finess only a Dragon well
  practiced in the art could do.

  ** LUCKY **
                  ** YOUR QUEST IS NOT OVER **

  You are a hero.  Bards will sing of your deeds, but that doesn't
  mean your life doesn't go on.

  YOUR CHARACTER WILL NOW BE RESET.  But you will keep a few things
  you have earned.  Like the following.



  Apparently, you have been sleeping.  You dust yourself off, and
  regain your bearings.  You feel like a new person!

    B. Endings

   The Endings are quite nice.  Again all typos are exact.

     i. Warrior
                     EPILOGUE - The Warriors Ending
  After your bloody duel with the huge Dragon, your first inpulse is to
  rip it's head off and bring it town.  Carefull thought reveals it is
  much to big for your horse, so that plan is moot.  Your second notion
  is bring back the childrens bones.  Bags and bags of them for proper
  barial, but you realize this would only cause the towns inhabitants
  MORE pain.  You finally decide on the Dragons heart.  After adding
  ten years to your swords life, you finally chip off enough scales to
  wallow in the huge beasts insides.

  When you are finished, and fit the still heart in a gunny sack you
  brought, (who would have thought this would be its use?) you make
  your way back to town.  As you share your story to a crowd of excited
  onlookers, this crowd becomes a gathering, and this gathering becomes
  an assemblage, and this assemblage becomes a multitude!

  This multitude nearly becomes a mob, but thinking quick, you make a

  "PEOPLE!" your voice booms.  "It is true I have ridden this town of
  it's curse, the Red Dragon.  And this is his heart."

  You dump the bloody object onto the ground.  From the back, Barak's
  voice is heard.  "How do we know where you got that thing?  It looks
  like you skinned a sheep!"  A flicker of annoyance crosses your face,
  but you force a smile.  "Why Barak, would you doubt me?  A LEVEL 12
  warrior?  If I am not mistaken, you are quite a bit lower, still at
  level two, eh?"

  Barak gives you no more trouble, and you are declared a hero by all.
  Violet tops off the evening by giving you a kiss on the cheek, and a
  whisper of things to come later that night makes even you almost
  blush.  Almost.

    ii. Wizard
                EPILOGUE - The Mystical Skills User Ending
  Still shaking from the battle, you decide it is time to return to
  town and share the good tidings.  You close your eyes and
  concentrate.  "There is no place like Town"...A when you open your
  eyes, you are under a cow in a farm outside - Not far from Abduls
  Armour.  You trek the distance to the Armoury, cursing as you go.
  Wizards were not made for this kind of hardship you tell yourself.

  Miss Abdul is estatic when you tell her about your escapades.  She
  agrees to accompany you to the Inn.  She lends you a horse when you
  tell her of how your feet ache.

  When you enter the smokey bar with a loud clatter, merry makers stop
  their carousing, people hunched over their meals stop chewing and
  Seth Able stops playing in mid-strum.

  "People!  I have slain the beast!" you shout triumphantly. A voice is
  heard from the back. "What beast?  A large rat or something?"  You
  scowl.  It is Barak.  You nonchalantly make a gesture with one hand.
  A few moments later, Barak stands up suprised.  He looks wildly
  around, then makes a bolt for the door.

  "What happened to him?" Miss Adbul asks you in puzzlement.

  "Nature called." you smile.  Your face becomes serious as you address
  the bar.  "The Red Dragon is no more." Violet sets her serving tray
  down to hear better. "We cannot bring back those dead, but I have
  stopped this from happening again."

  "And he did it with Armour from Abduls Armour!" Miss Abdul adds.

  "Er, thank you.  Anyway, make sure you put something in the Daily
  happenings about this!"  The crowd gives you a standing ovation.
   iii. Thief
                     EPILOGUE - The Thiefs Ending
  You breath a sigh of relief, retrieve your daggers and carefully
  clean them. Although you realized some may think it cold hearted if
  they ever found out, you pick through the childrens bones, picking up
  a gold piece here, a silver there. Afterall, these children didn't
  need it to buy a meal anymore... They WERE a meal!  You smile at
  your own dry wit and realize you had better get to town and share the

  The hike to town is long, but you are used to it, and rather enjoy
  the peace it brings.  You find the town deserted.  You enter the Inn,
  hoping find some clue, but all you find is Violet.

  "Via, Where has everyone gone?  Have they finally given up hope of
  ever stopping the Red Dragon, and have gone to seek a new lifestyle?

  There is a pause, then she responds.

  "No, they are having a feast at Turgons Place.  Naturally SOMEONE had
  to stay here, and OF COURSE it would be me...I never get to have any

  You give her a wink.  "That just isn't so...Remember last night?"
  She giggles, and after a few more naughty sayings you have her cheeks
  as deep a scarlet as a rose.

  When you finally meet up at Turgons, you share your story.  You can't
  help but be pleased at seeing so many faces in awe over your doings,
  so you 'spice' up the story in a few places... As you are finishing,
  a woman in the back cries out.

  "That Thief is wearing the ring I gave my Ellie the last birthday
  before disappeared!"

  You decide now would be the perfect time to make your departure.