How do I tell someone their book is not very good?

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3 years ago#1
One of my family members whom I haven't seen in a long time(been a couple years) has just made a book. I randomly found him on Amazon while searching self-published books. I found his name and figured, "cool, he made a book. That guy always seemed smart when I saw him at family gatherings." I typed his name in google, and it lead me to his Twitter page. So I read a preview of his book and...I don't know how to review it for him. You guys can check what I'm talking about here:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/105453589/Visionz-of-an-Artiste

It's weird because I know he's into Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I thought he'd at least write something on Christopher Paolini level, but this reminds me of elementary school writing. There's very little good, and Stephanie Meyer is better. Not to mention, there are grammar and spelling mistakes throughout. It's sad because there's hints of a decent story there, but it's just bogged down by elementary writing and mistakes. He even compares his paintings to Picasso and Basquiat. There's one story that looks like a parody of anime/fantasy cliches, but it's hard to tell from the other "serious" stories around it.
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3 years ago#2
Say that their books isn't very good.

God that was awful.
3 years ago#3
I just read some of his writing and I see what you mean.

The only way to critique someone so they get better is to be honest. Plain and simple.

Sure, it may hurt their feelings, but if a writer is that easily swayed to stop writing, then guess what? Yeah, they're not a writer.

It sucks when people tell you something you've done is bad, and God knows we all go through it, but if they can tell us WHY something is bad, then we can at least learn from it. Try to be constructive.

Start by telling him that his grammar needs work. (Honestly, a lot of work, but maybe don't word it that way.)

Explain that, (for example) when more than one person is speaking, their dialog should be spoken in different paragraphs. He has two people speaking in one paragraph, which is not only confusing, but is just plain wrong.

Suggest that he read more and try to emulate what he's seeing in the novels he likes.

These are just a few ideas to start.

Good luck.
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3 years ago#4
Oh God. That was absolutely terrible.
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3 years ago#5
Actions speak louder than words. Return it with feces smeared on pages with passages that are particularly bad, like this:

The weapon pulsed, firing a high-voltage beam, sending the men flying back exploding in mid-air.

"come on Max. Let's go before more of them show up" he started up the car and drove to Arizona.

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3 years ago#6
WarBeagle posted...
Actions speak louder than words. Return it with feces smeared on pages with passages that are particularly bad.


So...all of the pages?
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3 years ago#7
Be honest without being a douche. Also tell him he needs to tell less and show more. Drop some random English teacher expressions on him
3 years ago#8
Say nothing.

That's what I'd do.
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3 years ago#9
Who's saying you have to review it?
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Unofficial topic killer
3 years ago#10
Wait, so he didn't ask you your opinion? Why would you say anything at all?
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