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Considering telling my mom I don't believe in God and stop bothering me about

#1De EvolutionPosted 1/15/2013 3:54:51 PM
religion.

She still thinks I'm a Muslim/believer in God. Even when I was Muslim she tried to convince me that Christianity was superior. She constantly makes dumbass f***ing statements like if my dad was a Christian then their marriage never would have failed and that a Muslim sermon could never use verses to apply to real life lessons like a Christian one (wtf).

That was one that always pissed me off. She probably got encouraged because I used to attend church with her when she decided to start attending again and studying scripture while my parents were getting divorced and figured she could convert me. It's really annoying and the way she looks at Christianity is incredibly shallow and ignorant. She thinks it's superior to other religions and God's existence is a fact of life for her. There is no doubt.

Anyway lately she's been f***ing pushing me to go to church and it's not just her pushing me privately but in front of our neighbors and her friends! A week ago my neighbor knocks on the door so I can help him jumpstart the van. While I'm outside my mom comes down and is chatting with the neighbors and is telling them "I'm trying to make De Evo go to church but he won't listen. That's the one thing I want this year" like what the f***? And it's really annoying because she'll barely bring it up in private but once people are around she starts saying how much she wishes I would go to church. She KNOWS I don't believe in Christianity yet won't shut the hell up about it.

Then a couple days ago my mom's friend from church came over. We're all sitting down chatting and my mom says I need to go to church more and she wishes I would go. Right in front of the company. Then her friend chimes in and starts asking me about my beliefs. I dodged the question because my mom doesn't know about my new found skepticism and I'd rather speak to her privately about it before I bring it up in front of company. But goddamn is this s*** getting ridiculous. Her friend is talking about how she's going "get some God" at the evening service and my mom backing her up saying "Please take my son with you" and it's just f***ing absurd.

I mean my mom knows I'm not a Christian already and yet she still keeps f***ing pushing me and then she has the nerve to bring it up every chance she gets with company. The neighbors, her friends, the people she talks to on the phone I can hear her telling them she wants her kids to go to church. I can't stand this stupid s***. Every other sentence is about God's plan, and if God allows this and that, and if God wills such and such. I mean me, my mom, and her friend are sitting at the table and they're sitting there talking about how they're going to pray for me and my mom is telling her friend to keep me in her heart during the service and her friend is smiling while agreeing to do so and it's just one big f***ing circle jerk of self-righteousness.

I was going to take my atheism with me to the grave but holy f*** I may just have to explain to my family that I don't believe in magic, superstition, the Bible, or God so they can understand my beliefs and leave me the f*** alone about this stuff.

I don't think theists understand just how annoying invasive it is when they constantly bring up their beliefs in polite conversation as if everyone should adhere to them and constantly talk about God and religion as if it's established and undeniable fact. The idea that a good or moral person is one who believes in God is the worst crime religion has committed. The monopoly on morality is ridiculous and absurd. I could almost envision my mom and her friend's opinion of me dropping the instant I would have told them I don't believe in God. As if my politeness and personality are great until they discover my lack of belief in which case I have a huge problem in my character and I need to be "saved".
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If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
#2Polish_CrusaderPosted 1/15/2013 4:03:50 PM
You are not right.
#3De Evolution(Topic Creator)Posted 1/15/2013 4:05:32 PM
Polish_Crusader posted...
You are not right.


Prove it.

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If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
#4SilviiroPosted 1/15/2013 4:11:21 PM(edited)
like if my dad was a Christian then their marriage never would have failed

Did your dad initiate the divorce? It's incredibly callous of me, but all these "Christian" women who rush into a divorce, which Biblically is tolerated at most, have jaded me against such women.

In regard to your topic, often we theists have to deal with the same sort of thing. Imagine if both of your parents were Christian while you were Muslim. Even within religions, I get tired of my parents lumping me in with Hitler for agreeing with science. (I just realized how that could sound, and by science I mean the theory of evolution.)
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"I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind." -- Ecclesiastes 1:14
#5kozlo100Posted 1/15/2013 4:12:16 PM
I understand your frustration, and I advocate being honest about one's position with one's family, but I have to tell you that explaining why you don't believe in God is not likely to stop her pestering you about going to church.
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The problem, then, is that if subjective worlds are experienced too differently, there occurs a breakdown in communication. -- Philip K. Dick
#6ravenomoarPosted 1/15/2013 4:16:29 PM
You are better off putting it out in the open. Trust me it will rat away at you and you would just be dishonest to yourself for keeping it bottled up. Your parents need to accept you for who you are. Would be very selfish to think that I have to shove my beliefs down my kids throat. I am an atheist too. Believe me when I say this we are a minority. Just stand up for what you believe bro
#7De Evolution(Topic Creator)Posted 1/15/2013 4:16:55 PM
Silviiro posted...
like if my dad was a Christian then their marriage never would have failed

Did your dad initiate the divorce? It's incredibly callous of me, but all these "Christian" women who rush into a divorce, which Biblically is tolerated at most, have jaded me against such women.

In regard to your topic, often we theists have to deal with the same sort of thing. Imagine if both of your parents were Christian while you were Muslim. Even within religions, I get tired of my parents lumping me in with Hitler for agreeing with science. (I just realized how that could sound, and by science I mean the theory of evolution.)


Both agreed to the divorce.

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If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
#8Julian_CaesarPosted 1/15/2013 4:38:06 PM
DeEvo, I want to go ahead and thank you for sharing something such personal things with us. When I say harsh or fundie things here, I think it's mostly because I have an impersonal target to attack. No one reading your story could think the same way again about what it means to be an atheist, or a religious searcher, or any of the things that you are now and have been in the past. Normally I would encourage you not to let your mother's example taint your view of religion. But that seems so...meaningless and empty. Just making myself feel better, really. And I've heard parts of your story before but never all at the same time. It has more of an impact that way.

So I encourage you, as others have, to stand up for what you believe in and tell your mother how you feel. And move out of the house as soon as you are financially capable....which is a lot harder now than it was 10 years ago, unfortunately. And most of all, be on the lookout for people who won't judge you until they're ready to let you judge them right back.
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Every day the rest of your life is changed forever.
#9GBALoserPosted 1/15/2013 4:38:34 PM
Kudos to you De Evo for tolerating her well-meaning attitude of trying to get you back to church.

Unfortunately, you're going to have to reveal your beliefs to your mother. It won't stop her (hell, it'll probably get worse for a bit), but it will force her to pause. How to go about this is a little tricky. Assuming your father doesn't know, would he at least be more open to hearing out your beliefs? Might want to try him as a dry run for your mother.
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Every once in a while I realize the human race may be worth saving. Of course, then I come back here, but still, those are good moments. -Readyman
#10De Evolution(Topic Creator)Posted 1/15/2013 5:00:49 PM(edited)
GBALoser posted...
Kudos to you De Evo for tolerating her well-meaning attitude of trying to get you back to church.

Unfortunately, you're going to have to reveal your beliefs to your mother. It won't stop her (hell, it'll probably get worse for a bit), but it will force her to pause. How to go about this is a little tricky. Assuming your father doesn't know, would he at least be more open to hearing out your beliefs? Might want to try him as a dry run for your mother.


Yeah he's definitely more laid back and open and doesn't really talk about religion much. He's a Muslim but he's pretty much non-practicing. Basically born into the religion but not very strict, vocal, or enthusiastic about it. My mom said in the 30 years she's known him, the one and only time she ever saw him pray or fast was after I revealed my own conversion and was celebrating Ramadan and he joined in with me.

I almost feel bad because after I converted it sort of woke him up to Islam again and he wanted to use my Qur'an and discuss Arabic etc. and when I was a Muslim I was stoked that my own faith had reenergized my father but now that I've changed it's a hard pill to swallow.

My mom is a different beast though especially since she started attending church again and doing Bible study it's all she talks about is God, and Jesus, and God's plan, and Jesus' blood, etc. She's one of those who is very vocal about her belief and very vocal about everyone needing God. Can't wait to graduate and move out... Also the fact that I live with my mom and not my dad is obviously a factor. I see my dad but once or twice a week. I see my mom every day.

It seems that sometime this week I'll just have a talk with her and tell her I don't believe in God and to please stop bringing it up to friends, family, and neighbors how much she wants me to go to church or try to push me to go especially in front of company.

Though I will add that some of the friends she's made at church are f***ing hot.

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If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.