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I come to proselytize Atheismo, the god who doesn't want to be worshipped.

#1thecrobarPosted 1/23/2013 7:31:10 PM
Eons ago, Atheismo created himself (he looks like Jeff Bridges).

Now back then the universe was a pretty boring place, so Atheismo decided he wanted some company. 6,000 years ago he created mankind. He also created the Earth and everything else then too. But Atheismo is not a straightforward god, and likes to screw around with people. He purposefully made the Earth appear millions of years older then it actually was, and he planted the seeds of a hundreds of different religions to confuse and mislead people.

You see, Atheismo gave us the gift of logic and the other five senses. His wants us to use these five senses and our rational minds to realize that we really don't know what's going, and that- although the earth really is 6,000 years old and there was a great flood (known as "the tapping of the keg") that we shouldn't believe in any one religion and trust our senses. Of course, as a side effect of this belief, it is impossible to believe Atheismo exists and still follow his plan so please stop believing in him if this has been convincing in any way.

If, during your life time, you become an atheist or agnostic then you have accepted Atheismo into your heart and will join him at his kick ass sky mansion for all eternity. If you are religious, then you'll just get reincarnated and you get to keep trying (but hurry up, the lines for the sex-o-coaster are getting longer).

So don't repent, and stop believing in Atheismo today!
"We are bad guys. It's fun to lead a bad man's life."
Monster with 21 Faces.
#2Hustle KongPosted 1/23/2013 7:33:39 PM
Oh, great. A "humorist".
Shooting Game never die.
It prays that the clover of luck be always in your mind.
#3Polish_CrusaderPosted 1/23/2013 7:43:00 PM
#4ForsakenHermitPosted 1/23/2013 10:06:38 PM
Don't quit your day job.
I will close this account if Final Fantasy XV is announced to be for either the Vita or 3DS.
Fire Yoichi Wada
#5LunarAmbiencePosted 1/23/2013 10:21:15 PM
I like it, actually.
The above is both true and false.
#6JonWood007Posted 1/23/2013 10:25:02 PM
I loled.
Desktop: Phenom II X4 965 | 4 GB DDR3 | GTX 580 | 1 TB HD | W7 | 650W Antec | 1600x900
Laptop: A6 3400m | 4 GB DDR3 | HD 6520g | 500 GB HD | W7 | 1366x768
#7Resident WeevilPosted 1/24/2013 12:21:28 AM
HP/MP restored!
...but you're still hungry
#8MorrowindQuotesPosted 1/24/2013 4:47:00 AM
The Thirty-Six Lessons of Vivec: Sermon Four

'The popular notion of God kills happenstance.'
#9KokyuDosaPosted 1/24/2013 4:58:52 AM
I prefer to not worship Atheior myself.
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
#10devilupstevePosted 1/24/2013 5:49:18 AM
The Jeff Bridges part killed me...
I've gone to find myself, if I get back before I return, keep me here.