This is a split board - You can return to the Split List for other boards.

Satanists perform graveside ritual to turn Fred Phelps' dead mother gay

#1TheWetRatPosted 7/17/2013 3:27:44 PM
http://www.vice.com/read/satanists-turned-the-founder-of-the-westboro-baptist-churchs-mom-gay?utm_souce=vicetumblrus

The Satanic Temple, a burgeoning community of worship devoted to the Dark Lord, has performed a “Pink Mass” over the grave of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Jr.’s mother. The Pink Mass is a Satanic ritual performed after death that turns the deceased's straight spirit into a homo one—it’s not unlike the Mormon practice of baptizing the dead, only much gayer.

On Sunday the Satanic Temple, which first came into the national spotlight last January when the organization announced its support for Florida Governor Rick Scott, went to the Phelps family graveyard in Mississippi to perform the ritual. (Two Pink Masses were performed, one with a female couple and another with men.) I contacted Lucien Greaves, the Temple’s spokesperson and officiator of the ceremony, to find out what exactly the Pink Mass entials. While he didn't get into specifics, he told told me via email that "there were, in fact, scriptures recited, candles lit, and a ceremonial proceeding that we may eventually post the details of at our website, westboro-baptist.com. That is, if the Pink Mass generates sufficient interest to the point that other responsible parties, respectful of the graveyard, wish to perform their own."

The idea for the mass came about in April, when the WBC announced their intention to protest the funerals of the Boston Bombing victims. The church never showed up, but later issued a statement saying they were there “in spirit.” As is always the case when WBC does or says anything, both the initial plans and the subsequent statement pissed off everyone in the world, including Satanists. And so, according to a press release, the Satanic Temple decided that a ceremony celebrating same-sex couples "at the gravesite of Fred Phelps’ mother was an appropriate way to meet the Westboro Baptists, ‘in spirit,’ but this time on our terms.”

Now the spirit of Catherine Idalette Johnston is officially into other chicks, meaning her gravesite is a viable target for one of her son’s “God hates ****” protests. Lucien told me, "We believe that Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay in the afterlife. Further, if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that his mother is now gay."

When I asked Lucien if the Temple has plans to perform Pink Masses on any other deceased members of the Phelps family, he said, "We haven’t gayed Fred’s father yet, or his great-aunt, Irene Jordan, who raised him after his mother died. We will perform Pink Masses for each of them, and more descendants of the Phelps, each time they picket funerals or applaud horrific terrorist actions, as they are known to do. Fred himself is getting pretty long in the tooth, and I hope to be presiding over his Pink Mass before long."

The Temple is encouraging other gay couples to make the trek to Magnolia cemetery in Mississippi and suck each others' faces at the grave. They say that every time a same-sex couple makes out over the grave of a Pink Mass recipient, the spirit of the deceased “is pleasured in the afterlife,” presumably with spooky ghost orgasms.

And for couples interested in performing an official Pink Mass of their own, Lucien told me, "I would encourage them to try to arrange such a thing with us, so that we might have a High Priest formally officiate."

---
Be confident in what you know; and don't be afraid of what you don't.
#2GBALoserPosted 7/17/2013 4:07:53 PM
Trolls trolling trolls IRL. Love it.
---
Every once in a while I realize the human race may be worth saving. Of course, then I come back here, but still, those are good moments. -Readyman
#3Wandering__HeroPosted 7/17/2013 4:09:32 PM
i don't get what their really trying to achieve here. Troll Phillipes? To what end? Draw attention to themselves by using other attention whores? Who still gives a **** about the WBC, beyond atheists looking for a punching bag?

If this does anything at all it will only give the WBC more anumation if they feel Satanists have come out against them
---
Click the sites these contain to donate to charity for free http://www.thenonprofits.com/
#4Faust_8Posted 7/17/2013 4:10:42 PM
GBALoser posted...
Trolls trolling trolls IRL. Love it.

---
In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.
#5Wandering__HeroPosted 7/17/2013 4:13:27 PM
Faust_8 posted...
GBALoser posted...
Trolls trolling trolls IRL. Love it.


Attention whores trolling attention whores usually just leads to tedious screaming matches. If you really want to troll the WBC, try not giving them disproportionate media representation.
---
Click the sites these contain to donate to charity for free http://www.thenonprofits.com/
#6ForsakenHermitPosted 7/17/2013 5:58:29 PM
What is this, the Satanist version of baptism for the dead?
---
"To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity." -Robespierre
#7LinkFanaticPosted 7/17/2013 8:41:15 PM
Wandering__Hero posted...
i don't get what their really trying to achieve here. Troll Phillipes? To what end? Draw attention to themselves by using other attention whores? Who still gives a **** about the WBC, beyond atheists looking for a punching bag?

If this does anything at all it will only give the WBC more anumation if they feel Satanists have come out against them


I agree with this.
---
SSJ Gotenks is santa clause, because he can fly around the planet in one night. - ShaolinAced
#8GBALoserPosted 7/18/2013 6:43:07 AM
Wandering__Hero posted...

Attention whores trolling attention whores usually just leads to tedious screaming matches. If you really want to troll the WBC, try not giving them disproportionate media representation.


Normally I would agree with you and say give the WBC no coverage whatsoever. However, WBC is a bunch of buffoons that few take seriously anymore, and their membership continues to dwindle. Since they spent so much time rubbing tragedy in others faces, figure its only fair to reap what they have sown. I don't wish their deaths like some, just knock them down a peg.
---
Every once in a while I realize the human race may be worth saving. Of course, then I come back here, but still, those are good moments. -Readyman
#9ThuggernautzPosted 7/18/2013 6:44:59 AM
I think this is hilarious.
#10EastsideslingerPosted 7/18/2013 7:05:52 AM
GBALoser posted...
Wandering__Hero posted...

Attention whores trolling attention whores usually just leads to tedious screaming matches. If you really want to troll the WBC, try not giving them disproportionate media representation.


Normally I would agree with you and say give the WBC no coverage whatsoever. However, WBC is a bunch of buffoons that few take seriously anymore, and their membership continues to dwindle. Since they spent so much time rubbing tragedy in others faces, figure its only fair to reap what they have sown. I don't wish their deaths like some, just knock them down a peg.


I like to think of it as a stress test of sorts. WBC raise the shield of religious freedom and the 1st Amendment to defend the things they do. There is no reason why the Satanic Church or anyone for that matter use the same tactics to fight fire with fire. Also,

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-satanic-temple-adopt-a-highway-campaign?c=home

I want to see this go through so I can see the reactions when it happens. If Religious Freedom doesn't simply mean "only if you're Christian" then this will go through even if it russles peoples jimmies along the way.
---
"That's Mushy Snugglebites' badonkadonk. She's my main squeeze. Lady's got a gut fulla' dynamite and a booty like POOOW!" - Tiny Tina