Paper Bowser: Dawn of the New Day. (Spoilers for the Paper Mario games)
Paper Bowser: Dawn of the new day!
Prologue: Bowser's bad day.
It was a rather cold day in the mushroom kingdom, snow blanketed the entire kingdom, and Mario and Luigi had decided to sleep in since they currently had nothing better to do. At Bowser’s castle however, things are going much differently.
“GRR, I told you fools to go and capture my princess. Why the hell did you come back early, without my princess?” Bowser literally had smoke unfurling from his nostrils and was currently demeaning his army for the latest epic fail.
“Sorry Lord Bowser, it’s cold out. Too cold."
“Ugh, I guess I’ll do this myself. You losers wait here and guard my castle while im gone."
“We shall not fail you again Lord Bowser! All Hail Bowser!” The Koopa Troop saluted as they left the throne room.
“Lord Bowser, going alone could be dangerous, please allow me to accompany you.” Kammy Koopa said as she came up his side.
As much as Bowser really disliked Kammy Koopa for being an old hag, he realized her help might come in handy.
“Fine, you can tag along, just stay out of my way.” Bowser said as he began heading towards the front door of his castle atop the mountains, and looked out at the big bright world.
“Agh my eyes, it burns.” Bowser said as he screamed in pain at the bright light.
“Here Lord Bowser, take these and put them on.” Kammy said as she handed him a pair of dark and cool looking sun-glasses.
“Ah that’s much better. Still this brightness is becoming annoying.” Bowser said angrily.
“Indeed. Well Lord Bowser, What should we do first?"
That’s a good question, what should he do first?
A. Go cause pointless destruction in Toad Town for fun. (Winner)
B. Go beat up Mario and Luigi.
C. Go infiltrate mushroom castle and try to kidnap the princess.
Stop by some time, it's a pretty kewl place. :D
“I feel Like causing some chaos, Lets go to Toad Town.” Bowser said as he began charging down the mountain like a crazed bull.
“Wait for me your chunkiness.” Kammy said as she pulled out her broom and zoomed after Bowser.
Within about ten minutes, they reached Toad Town through the main entrance.
“Hello there and welco- OH MY GOD IT’S BOWSER, EVERYONE SAVE YOURSELES!” The toad by the entrance screamed as he ran past Bowser and fled towards Goomba village.
“Yes Hide losers, It’ll make this so much easier for me.” Bowser said cheerfully.
“Um Lord Bowser, what are we doing here again?” Kammy asked.
“We’re gonna raise some hell, bwahaha! Bowser said.
Bowser then belched a big fireball at the pipe to Mario’s house.
“Much better, now that fat loser can’t interfere.” Bowser said.
“You are the master of disaster Bowser. What next?” Kammy asked.
People could be heard off in the distance screaming and running into their houses throughout the town.
“I have a sweet tooth, lets steal some candy.” Bowser said as they began heading towards the item shop.
As soon as the door opened, Bowser curled into his protective shell immediately because the owner had pulled a bazooka out.
It did zero damage to Bowser who then uncurled and grabbed the proprietor of the shop.
“What’s the big idea little weakling?” Bowser said as he increased his grip on the store owner.
“Im getting tired of being robbed, please stop Bowser.” The toad said.
“Why would I do that? You haven’t paid your protection money this week. Now the fee is doubled to two coins and im taking some candy to teach you some respect.” Bowser said as he threw the store owner against a wall and walked over to the cash register. Instead of the two coins he threatened to take, he looted the entire register.
He got fifty coins and a bag of fifty chocolate bob-ombs and some cinnamon goombas.
“Why?” The toad asked, now to weak to even sit up.
“Because he’s the king.” Kammy said.
“And remember punk, next time you pay me two coins or we’ll be having a repeat performance. UNDERSTOOD!” Bowser growled, and then laughed when the toad fainted from fear.
“Man I love being evil, Lets visit the post office next.” Bowser said as they stomped out of the building, and he took a note to tag the side of the building with the words, Property of Bowser.
“Why the post office?” Kammy asked.
“Im getting tired of getting Mario’s mail.” Bowser said while they walked there.
Upon reaching the place, Bowser punched the front door down and stomped on in.
“Time to pay your respect to the king of evil!” Bowser said as he stomped over to the front desk.
The usual old mail man was out sick today and Parakarry was standing in for him.
“Bowser? What are you doing here?” Parakarry asked.
“Your boss didn’t pay his protection, and now it’s due!” Bowser said as he grabbed a nearby bag of letters and threw them at Parakarry.
“Oof.” Parakarry was paralyzed beneath the weight of the bag.
“Next time I come here, you owe me two coins. GOT IT!” Bowser growled.
“Yessir.” Parakarry cried.
“What now lord Bowser, surely there’s nothing that you’d want to steal here?” Kammy asked.
“No, I have other plans.” Bowser said as he walked over to the mail boxes in back and began randomly moving letters and different mail in different boxes.
“This goes here and that goes there, jury duty, jury duty, black mail, pink slip…” Bowser then laughed out loud, “You’ll never get these organized again.” Bowser then walked over and opened the cash register and pulled all the money out.
He found one-hundred coins.
Bowser and Kammy then went outside and saw a baby toad sitting in a stroller eating a lollipop.
“This’ll be easy Kammy, watch and learn.” Bowser said as he began walking towards the baby.
“Lord Bowser, surely you have enough candy?” Kammy asked.
“Enough ain’t never enough. Here we are.” Bowser said when they got to the baby.
Just as he was grabbing at the lollipop, the baby pulled out a nunchuck and proceeded to belt poor Bowser silly.
A few minutes after Bowser was dealt his serious beating, the mother walked up and pushed his stroller away.
“I bow before the master.” Kammy said as Bowser slowly and painfully got up off the ground.
“Thanks, now to go and collect my bride.” Bowser said as they began heading towards Peach’s castle.
After walking a short distance, he arrived at the entrance to Peach’s castle, and saw two guards near the front door.
“What now your chunkiness?” Kammy asked.
“What we usually do, scare them stupid and just walk right on in. You wait here, I‘ll be right back.” Bowser said.
“Alright lord Bowser, please be careful though.” Kammy said.
And so Bowser walked right up to the front door and stood right in front of the two guards. He then growled at them which caused them to run away screaming and crying.
“I love being evil.” Bowser said as he opened the door and walked right in.
He was in the first room of the castle, and was heading up the stairs towards Peach’s room when a voice yelled at him from behind.
“Stop right there tubby.”
Bowser then turned around and saw that it was Luigi.
“What do you think your doing greenie?” Bowser asked, and cracked his knuckles in an attempt to scare Luigi.
“Im-a not gonna let you kidnap the princess. The green thunder strikes like lightning!” Luigi yelled as he launched himself at Bowser with a vertical spring jump.
He smashed right past Bowser and spun around and smacked him in the head with his hammer and then proceeded to repeatedly kick him in the face.
Luigi was moving so fast he was literally a moving blur.
Bowser was down before he could even make a move.
“Why? How did YOU get so strong? And why aren‘t you all shaky and crying right now?” Bowser asked, lying upside down on the ground and completely helpless.
“I eat lightning and shoot thunder! And your not worthy of being afraid of. Now to go check on the princess…” Luigi said as he walked ahead, and left Bowser there.
A few seconds later, a whole bunch of Toads came out with pointy sticks and surrounded Bowser.
“Thank God you’re here. Would you mind flipping me over? Please?” Bowser pleaded.
“Of course we wouldn’t mind beating you senseless.” One of the said.
“Hey fatty, are you a piñata?” One of the Toads asked.
“It’s my birthday.” One of the Toads said.
“Your gonna get it this time.” One of the Toads said.
“What they said.” One of the Toads said.
The large group of Toads then began hitting and jabbing poor Bowser with large pointy sticks, and to Bowser’s misfortune, candy and stolen money fell out his shell which prompted them to continue hitting him.
“Ow. Stop it. Cut it out.” Bowser said angrily.
“Make us.” One of the Toads said.
“Yeah fatty, what’re you gonna do about it?” One of the Toads asked.
“Im not fat, it’s a glandular problem. And your gonna pay for this if you don’t stop now!” Bowser yelled.
“Oh we’re really scared.” One of the Toads said sarcastically.
A high pitched scream then filled the air.
“HEELLLLPPPP MMMMMEEEEEE!!!!” It was Peach!
The Toads then stopped hitting Bowser and began to panic.
“What do we do? What do we do?” They cried.
“Flip me over, I can help.” Bowser said.
“Why should we?” They asked simultaneously.
“Because you Toads are a bunch of wusses who couldn’t fight to save your lives. That and Luigi probably just got served as well. You need me now.” Bowser said.
“Crud I think he’s right. Ok on the count of three.
“Now!” They cried when they combined their strength and rolled Bowser over, where he shakily got back up.
“Now give me back my stuff!” Bowser demanded.
“Ok Ok, here,” one of the Toads handed Bowser back his loot and candy, “Just help the princess.
“And then I can kidnap her. And sucker punch Luigi in the face for fun.” Bowser said as he ran upstairs, heading towards the screaming.
He ran all the way through the castle, and found the source of the screaming in the same room that he beat Mario up in.
And Peach’s abductor was…
“You, but why?” Bowser asked as he began advancing on Luigi.
“I have my reasons, none of which concern you. NOW HAVE AT YOU!” Luigi yelled as he spring jumped into Bowser and hit him with an uppercut, then kicked off of a wall and slammed his hammer down atop his head.
Bowser was out cold.
“Like I said, the green thunder strikes like lightning. Now princess, your coming with me…” Luigi then grabbed Peach who was unconscious and tied up and leapt out of the open window and fled the town…
Chapter 2: The legend of the Gears of balance.
Several hours later, Bowser awoke to see Kammy and the group of toads that were beating on him earlier standing over him.
“He’s waking up.” One of the Toads said, this one wearing a red spotted hat.
“Lord Bowser, are you alright?” Kammy asked.
“Where am I?” Bowser asked as he pulled himself off of the ground.
“Your at Peach’s castle, in the room that you beat up Mario in awhile back.” Kammy said.
“Please save her Bowser.” The toad with the blue hat said pleadingly.
“Save who? And why would I help you?” Bowser asked.
“The princess, master Luigi took her and ran off. Our first move was to go and alert Mario, which took awhile since someone incinerated the pipe to his house, but when we got there, we found a note. Here you go Bowser.” The toad with the yellow hat said as he handed Bowser the note.
“Hang on a minute, I’ll read it aloud. Ok it says:
‘I have decided to join the dark side, if anyone interferes with my plans, I’ll crush you like bugs. Since that thug Bowser wrecked the pipe to my house, I’ll assume that by the time you read this, my bro will have done his job. If you wish for the princess to remain unharmed, gather the gears of balance and bring them to the tower of destiny and place them in there appropriate slots. When this is done, she shall be released.
If you do not comply, I shall return her anyway, piece by piece. This mission will be quite dangerous, so I suggest you send what ever non cowardly toads that you have, if any.
Sincerely, Mario and Luigi, superstar siblings.’” Bowser finished reading, and smoke unfurled from his nostrils angrily.
“Im the only one that gets to kidnap her. Kammy, lets go to that accursed mansion and recapture my bride.” Bowser said as he stomped towards the door.
“Wait lord Bowser, Luigi just served you like you were nothing. Your powerful, but not yet powerful enough. I think we should collect these gears of balance first.” Kammy said.
Bowser stopped short of the door and slowly turned around.
“Why should I? Send Mario a letter and tell him to get off his lazy ass and get them himself. Right now im gonna go kick his head in for this.” Bowser said angrily.
“Lord Bowser, these gears of balance sound like good world conquering tools. Maybe I can use them to amplify your strength like with the star rod?” Kammy asked.
Bowser then let her words sink in for a minute, and realized that she was right, that he really didn’t stand a chance against Mario as he was now. So Bowser yielded.
“Alright Kammy, and when we find them, we’ll thrash Mario and I’ll slap Luigi around for fun. You there,” Bowser said in a deep voice as he pointed at the red spotted toad, “does this castle have a library?”
“We still have a library, but why do you ask? You don’t seem like the type that enjoys reading.” The toad said.
“I hate reading, which is why when I find the right book, you’re gonna read it to me. Got it?” Bowser said menacingly.
“Loud and clear.” The toad replied quietly.
“Good, then lead the way.” Kammy said.
And so the three toads lead Bowser towards the castle library, which was a very short walk from point A to point B, but Bowser had forgotten the layout of the castle since he had stolen the whole thing.
When they walked into the library, the yellow spotted one said,
“We’re here, what would you like to read tubby?”
“Im not fat, im big boned. Find me anything you can on these gears of balance.
At that moment, an earth rattling earthquake shook the castle and caused everyone in the room to topple over, and books to come falling off of the shelves. One relatively large book cascaded down and smacked Bowser right in the face.
“Dammit, what the hell keeps causing all these ****ing earthquakes?” Bowser asked angrily.
“I don’t know, the same could be asked as to why we no longer have shadows, or why the sun seems to have gotten so bright. It’s just one of life’s little mysteries.” The blue spotted toad said.
Bowser then glanced at the book that landed on him, and when he saw the cover he said,
“Boo-yah! Finally a lucky break for good ol Bowser!” Bowser said happily as he handed the red spotted toad the book and said, “READ NOW!”
The Toad hastily took the book and began reading,
“The prophecy of the gears of balance, by Kolarado. The gears of darkness were taken decades ago by mysterious being of darkness, and hidden across the world. The reason? To create a world of utter chaos and destruction. Without the gears being in place at the tower of destiny, the world slowly began to die. Seven gears altogether, the gear of water, the gear of fire, the gear of light, the gear of shadow, the gear of earth, the gear of wind, and the gear of chaos. Each gear held reign over different elements and helped hold the world together. The gear of water helped maintain the sea levels. The gear of fire kept the light of the sun in check. The gear of light is needed to guarantee that morning always comes. The gear of shadow is needed to balance that of the gear of light, otherwise night would never come. The gear of earth was needed to keep the earth from eventually shattering itself. The gear of wind was needed to ensure that the wind continues blowing, and that the very air of the world continues to be breathable. The gear of chaos however, contrary to its name, is the very reason for the theft in the first place. It is believed that when the thieves came and took the gears of balance, they replaced them with a gear that reversed the functions of all the other gears, in order to slowly destroy the world that they were created to protect. In all things there are balance, light to dark, hot to cold, ect. But this balance has been removed, and a new balance must be attained in order for the worlds existence to continue. It is said that a magical map leading to the gears lies with the coffin of the shadow queen in Rogueport, but the map has an enchantment on it that prevents those without dark hearts from touching it…” The toad stopped for a moment, and pulled off what appeared to be a post-it note taped to the bottom of the page.
“Why did you stop reading?” Bowser asked.
“Because some bastard ripped the bottom of the page off. But they were nice enough to leave a note. See?” the red spotted toad said as he handed Bowser the note.
“What the hell could this be? It says: Sorry about the book Peach, but we we’re out of toilet paper again. I’ll pay you back the money when I get a chance.
Flamer.” Bowser finished reading, and was really tempted to incinerate the note.
“Bowser stop! If we come across this Flamer person, maybe he can tell us what the rest of the page said.” Kammy said.
“Fine, where the hell is this Shadow Queen’s coffin at anyway?” Bowser asked.
“I believe it’s under Rogueport, a few rooms away from where we lost to Mario.” Kammy said.
“Good, Let’s go,” Bowser then walked outside and pulled out a remote, pressed a button and one of his Koopa Klown Cars drifted towards him.
He boarded it and took off for Rogueport at top speed, followed closely by Kammy Koopa on her broom. After a full day of flying, they reached the port of Rogueport where Bowser parked his ride and set off on foot, heading towards the thousand-year door.
When he reached the pipe leading underground, he was halted by a fence blocking his path.
“Kammy, why is there always a fence in my way?” Bowser asked.
“Because it wants your autograph?” Kammy said stupidly.
A minute of them staring at the fence, and old professor Frankly came waddling out of his house.
“Git offa my lawn!” He yelled, already realizing he was looking at Bowser, whom he recognized from Mario’s description.
“Whoa there gramps, take a minute, and think. Are you off your meds or something?” Bowser asked mockingly.
“Why yes I am, thank you. I know who you are, so you better have a good reason for being here Bowser.” Frankly said.
“I trying to reclaim my princess, And to do that, I need to grave rob the Shadow Queens crypt and steal some stupid map from it. So open the gate already, I don’t have the time or patience for you gramps.” Bowser said.
“Well since you asked nicely,” Frankly unlocked the gate, “Now you be careful down there sonny, there’s some bad stuff brewing down there.” Frankly said, but was ignored by Bowser and Kammy who were already sinking into the pipe.
They made their way through the sewers and worked their way past a few weak Spania’s and Goomba’s. When they reached the thousand-year door, they found a small wooden padlock holding it shut.
“Lord Bowser, you can do it!” Kammy said encouragingly.
Bowser then belched up a massive ball of flame, and the lock melted and dissipated entirely. And like in his previous trip through the palace of shadow, he took a short cut and crashed through the floor and passed out. A few hours later he awoke and proceeded towards the crypt. He walked right in and used his claws to pry the lid off, and saw it on the bottom of the coffin.
The map was lying in plain site.
“Mine!” Bowser yelled when he snatched up the map. As soon as his hands enclosed around it, a swirl of shadows surrounded him and the map.
After a few seconds of this, Bowser staggered a bit and fell to his hands and knees and then handed Kammy the map.
“Where…to…now…Kammy?” Bowser breathed.
“The map says that we should head towards the lightning temple in the Vanilla mountains.” Kammy said as she helped Bowser up and handed him the map.
“Ok, lets do this thing so I can kidnap Peach-” Bowser said after recovering from the shock, but was cut off by Kammy,
“And beat up Luigi, right lord Bowser?”
“Yeah, well how far to the lightning temple?” Bowser asked as he glanced at the map in awe.
“It’ll take at least a week’s worth of travel on foot, but we can fly there in less than a day.” Kammy said.
“Well then, lets go, this place gives me the creeps.” Bowser said as they made their way out of the palace of shadows. After a short walk through the sewers, when they came out it was dark out, so they decided to spend the night at an Inn above Podley’s cola bar. When morning came and it was time to pay the 5 coin fee, Bowser merely set one of the beds on fire and chuckled as he walked out of the Inn.
He returned to the docks and boarded his Koopa Klown copter and began heading towards the Vanilla Mountains to get the first gear of balance and get one step closer, to his showdown with Mario and Luigi.
After nearly a full days worth of travel, He reached the Temple of lightning, and hid his copter in some bushes to keep it from being stolen. He then proceeded into the temple, and was immediately shocked by something after taking only a few steps into the place.
“Yowch! What the hell was that?” Bowser yelped as he stepped back from whatever shocked him.
“Allow me sir!” Kammy then muttered something and held her staff out. A weird mist then filled the room and revealed a bunch of electric trip wires in the room.
“You have GOT to be kidding me. How the heck am I going to get through there?” Bowser asked.
“I’ll handle this sir, you see, there is a control panel on the other side of the room. If I can reach it, I can deactivate the lasers for you.” Kammy said as she began crawling, leaping, and to a certain degree, wall kicking past the lasers.
She then walked over to the controls and deactivated the lasers.
Bowser then walked forwards and proceeded to smash the control panel with his fists to prevent the lasers from being turned on again.
“Well Kammy, let’s keep going.”
And so the non-dynamic duo proceeded further into the temple, with the only resistance being the occasional ruff puff which Bowser easily fried with little trouble. At the end of the temple, after going far underground, They reached the resting place of one of the gears.
“What is that?” Bowser asked stupidly.
“I think it’s one of the gears lord Bowser.” Kammy said.
Without anymore words spoken, Bowser launched himself towards the gear which was sitting on a pedestal at the far opposite side of the room.
Just as he was nearing it though…
A electric cage dropped from the ceiling and prevented him from nabbing his prize, and an almost clichéd evil laugh filled the room.
“Is this a joke?” Bowser yelled.
“No joke tubby, you shall not take the gear of darkness. It is my duty to protect it from thieves such as yourself.” A decidedly evil voice echoed throughout the room.
“W-who’s there?” Bowser asked.
“Your worst nightmare! I’m feeling rather merciful today, if you leave now, I’ll let you leave. But if you trespass anymore, I’ll take matters into my own hands!” The voice said.
“Show yourself already, I ain’t going anywhere without my prize!” Bowser yelled.
“Yeah, are you some kinda coward?” Kammy yelled.
“Shut up Kammy.” Bowser muttered.
“Very well then, just know that you shall receive the gear of darkness, over my dead body!” A man wearing a bright yellow cloak, and holding a staff similar to that of Kammy’s appeared in the center of the room.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Bowser demanded.
“The names Tormizo, lord of lightning and thunder mage extrodinare. I warned you to leave while you had a chance. NOW HAVE AT YOU!” He yelled as he thrust his staff upwards and fired a shot at the ceiling.
“That’s it! You missed after all that? Stupid.” Bowser then proceeded to laugh his *** off at Tormizo for missing after all that talk of being a lord of lightning.
“Who said I missed?” Tormizo said smugly.
At that same time, a weird orange circle appeared under Bowser, and a bolt of lightning came down and jolted him.
“Lord Bowser, it leaves a weird orange symbol where it’s going to fire, watch for that!” Kammy said.
“Ah yes, the brains of the duo. I can’t have you helping him now can I! Take this!” Tormizo then fired a bolt of electricity directly at her staff, which being metal conducted it and electrified the poor hag. She was blasted off her feet and flew into a nearby wall, knocking her out cold.
“And now for fatty!” Tormizo then electrified himself with powers similar to that of zap-tap, and began charging up for a massive electric strike.
At that same time, another orange circle appeared under Bowser, and he side-stepped just in time to dodge it.
“I’m not fat, I’m big boned!” Bowser then burped up a massive fire ball straight at Tormizo who also chose that exact moment to fire his spell at Bowser.
“THUNDAGA!” He yelled as his staff launched a massive bolt of lightning which hit Bowser’s fireball in midair. The two attacks collided in mid-air and canceled each other out.
“Not bad pig-boy.” Tormizo said.
“Not bad pig-boy.” Bowser said mockingly.
“You’ll pay for that,” Electricity began dancing in his eyes, “Now die you fat tub of lard!” Tormizo then mimicked Bowser and belched a massive wave of electricity at Bowser.
Just as things looked hopeless, something amazing happened!
Bowser’s eyes turned black and grey, and his entire body was covered in shadowy flame and his shell became covered in weird words of civilizations past. His hair turned grey and purple. Bowser merely held his hand out and caught the wave, and threw it down.
“How did you? You should be dead now!” Tormizo was in shock, everyone who was struck by that in the past died instantly, and Bowser merely shrugged it off like it was nothing.
“That’s for me to know, and you to not find out. Face your demise Tormizo!” Bowser yelled as he belched not flame, but a massive wave of shadow straight at Tormizo.
It moved so fast that Tormizo was unable to dodge in time, and was absorbed by the shadow.
Tormizo’s scream echoed across the room, and he was no more.
Bowser then reverted back to normal, and passed out just as the electric cage around the gear of light flickered out.
Several hours later…
Kammy Koopa had finally woken from the massive blast that knocked her unconscious, and looked around the room. She saw Bowser crashed out in the corner and limped over to him.
“Lord Bowser, wake up!” She then pointed her staff at him and splashed some water on his face. He then stirred, and rolled over.
“Five more minutes.” Bowser muttered.
“Please wake up Bowser, that Tormizo guy seems to have left, and the gear of darkness is unprotected.” Kammy said.
Bowser then sat up and muttered a few curses.
“Mornings should be banned.” He groaned and then proceeded towards the gear of darkness and snatched it up. As soon as the gear touched his hand, he was once more covered in shadow and fell to the ground. He managed to maintain consciousness however and upon the shadows dissipation, he glanced at the map and saw that it had a new gear and location on it.
He handed it to Kammy and asked,
“What now Kammy?”
“The map says that the next gear is in the area of forever forest, in what appears to be a decrepit old house.” Kammy said as she somewhat helped Bowser back to his feet.
“A decrepit old house? Who would hide stuff there?” Bowser asked.
“Would you expect to find anything valuable in an old abandoned house?” Kammy said as they made there way back towards the entrance to the temple. “And besides, it probably wasn’t always old.”
“I guess not. I wonder why that freak back there let us live?” Bowser asked. He really had no memory of turning all dark and badass during his fight with Tormizo, and was under the impression that he had had his behind handed to him once more.
“I was wondering that myself, and why would he leave the gear unguarded? Oh well, I guess we might as well make the best of it. Why question good fortune?” Kammy said. Being unconscious at the time, she was also completely clueless as to what happened.
They then proceeded back outside, and a few steps out, the light of the sun almost seemed to be weakening, and the earth quaked violently causing Bowser to face-plant painfully on the ground.
As usual, Kammy was on her broom and was unaffected.
“Are you all right lord Bowser?” Kammy asked as Bowser pushed back up.
“Im fine, I’ll be even better once I’m airborne. Lets go.” Bowser then pulled his copter out of the bushes and started it.
Memories of running out of gas while flying towards Glitzville flooded his mind, and he decided that getting more gas couldn’t hurt.
So they flew towards the nearest gas station conveniently named, “Hurry Mart”.
He got out and filled his copter all the way up, and went inside.
The clerk looked a bit uneasy when he saw Bowser walk in, and had his hand on a button under the counter labeled, “Silent alarm”.
“How may I help you?” He asked uncertainly.
“I’ll take these.” Bowser said picking up a whole rack of mini chocolate pies and setting them on the counter.
“All of them? Plus the gas? That comes to exactly eight-hundred and fifty eight coins. Will you pay in cash or credit card?” The clerk said happily.
“Who said I was paying? I said I’ll take these,” Bowser then shoved the man back, which caused him to bump the silent alarm alerting the police nearby to the problem.
Bowser, unaware of this, was leaping over the counter and ‘borrowing’ all of the coins in the register.
He found one-hundred coins, plus the pies that he borrowed.
“Kammy, start the engine! Get it going!” Bowser yelled as he waddled out of the station, and headed towards the copter.
“Whuzzat?” Kammy was in the middle of a short nap and barely registered what Bowser said, but all the same she turned the key in the ignition and started it up.
Bowser then ran and leapt into the copter and flew away with a smug look across his face, and a chocolate mustache.
After a few minutes of flying, sirens could be heard far below, and Bowser busted out laughing at how they were following him with little moped like vehicles.
“You’ll never catch me!” Bowser yelled down at them.
“You’ll have to come down eventually!” One of the officers yelled back.
“Crud he’s right,” Bowser then noticed that they were coming up to a small wooden rickety bridge and an idea formed in his head, “That’s it!” Bowser then burped up a fireball and incinerated the bride before the police got to it.
“Grr, we’ll get you yet!” The police chief yelled and shook his fists at Bowser menacingly.
Bowser then told Kammy something funny that he saw on one of his favorite cartoons a few days back, and Kammy then flew down in front of the chief and fired a transformation spell at him.
“Wha-what did you do?” He asked timidly.
“Well you know the saying that you are what you eat? Well I think that about sums that up. Good day to you chief.” Kammy then cackled and flew after Bowser once more.
“Why are you all looking at me like that?” The chief asked.
All of the other officers were looking at him and drooling. He pulled out a small mirror and gasped at what he saw.
His head was a giant doughnut!
Realizing that being around the police was a bad idea at the time, he shot their tires out and rode his moped away, heading towards the other bridge on the far side of town so he could get the curse lifted by a Merlon.
Back up in the air, Bowser made a few rude hand gestures, and continued onward unhindered.
A few hours later, Bowser and Kammy arrived outside of an old abandoned and possibly house in the archay desert.
It was around two in the morning and quite dark out.
After taking a few minutes to hide his ride, He walked up to the imposing front door and found a message taped to the front door.
“Warning, do not enter. If you ignore this warning, you do so at your own risk.” Bowser then pulled the warning off the door and incinerated it.
Bowser slowly opened the front door and walked a few steps inside. He immediately tried flipping the light switch on, and noticed that the power was likely cut a long time ago.
“Damn!” As he said this, the door slammed shut behind him, and a weird spider web like pattern appeared on it, “ What the hell’s going on here?”
“Lord Bowser, I sense a presence here. And I don’t think it wants to be friends with us.” Kammy said, and as if to prove her point, a small pinkish ghost materialized and began cackling and flying towards Bowser with it's hands stretched out in front of him in an attempt to grab Bowser.
“Who‘s there!?” A loud and stupid yet very familiar sounding voice said from the room just ahead.
And then, something unexpected happened. The ghost began cowering in fear and hid behind Bowser.
“Hide me, I beg of you!” The ghost cried in fear.
“Bowser? What are you doing here?” The voice said as it’s owner waddled into the room.
“Tubba Blubba? I should ask you the same question.” Bowser said as he glanced behind him at the cowering ghost.
For reasons Bowser did not fully understand, he felt a small pang of sympathy for the small ghost. He decided to allow it to hide behind it for the time being.
“Well you Bowser, it’s like this. I was having a nice nap down in my hut a few miles from here. And then one day out of the blue, a bunch of ghosts started haunting me. As you know, im normally a huge coward, so without your invincible magic I was quite doomed. Then they came and made it all better.” Tubba said as he cracked a huge grin.
“Who? Who came and made it better?” Bowser asked.
“Mario and Luigi. They both placed some kind of courage spell on me so I would be braver. But, it came with a cost…” Tubba went silent at this.
“What do you owe that fat bastard for this?” Bowser asked.
“I promised that in thanks for their help, after I got my revenge on the ghosts here, I would help them test the anti-hero Toad of legend.” Tubba said, “So Bowser, if you happen to see a badass looking Toad pass through here, point him my way so I can crush him!”
Bowser then remembered that the letter left by Mario and Luigi said that they expected them to send there bravest Toads to find the gear. Boy would they be surprised…
“Can do Tubby. Would you mind clearing outta here for awhile,” Bowser thought up a lie and thought up one quick, “So I can terrorize these ghosts first? Please, I’ll um, leave a few for you though. Ok?”
The Spider web pattern faded from the front door.
“I suppose I can, but remember, if you see any anti-heroes around here, halt them for me. Good luck with whatever your doing Bowser.” Tubba then belched, farted, picked his nose, and then proceeded out the front door slamming it behind him.
Bowser then motioned for the ghost to come out of hiding.
“Thank you for hiding me. I didn’t want to get eaten.” The ghost said. It was easy to tell the ghost was female from feminine voice.
“Whatever, would you happen to know where the gear of balance is?” Kammy asked.
“I wasn’t talking to you!” The ghost said.
“Stop being a ***** and answer the question!” Kammy said.
“It takes one to know one!”
“STOPPIT!” Bowser, pushed to his limit on annoyance roared out. They both fell silent,
“Good, now first things first, your name.”
“Ah yes, where are my manners. My name is Ghastlia the third. You may call me Ghastlia hot stuff.” Ghastlia said.
Bowser was slightly unnerved by that last comment, so he decided to ignore it.
“Well Gassy, would you happen to know where the gear thingy is?” Bowser asked.
“It’s Ghastlia, and yes I do. It’s in our basement downstairs. I haven’t got your name yet though.” Ghastlia said.
“Bowser, and that thing over there is Kammy. Well then, lets get going.” And so the three proceeded downstairs and easily found the gear of darkness. Bowser was once more swathed in dark smoke emanating from the map and nearly passed out. After it was over he handed Kammy the map and she simply said.