Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go to bed with them

#1MCJessPosted 6/6/2012 2:43:09 PM
They said it'd be just like winning the lottery!
I agreed and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror had six matching balls!

I took the wife to a rave at the weekend, and there was a guy giving it large on the dance floor. The wife said 'See him there? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down'. I said 'Looks like he's still f***ing celebrating.'
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'Some problems will never be resolved by the mammalian equipment of the human cerebral cortex' - Christopher Hitchens
#2KaiyuraPosted 6/6/2012 2:49:27 PM
I took the wife to a rave at the weekend, and there was a guy giving it large on the dance floor. The wife said 'See him there? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down'. I said 'Looks like he's still f***ing celebrating.'

lolololololololol
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Los Angeles Galaxy- 2002 MLS Cup Champions, 2005 Cup Double, 2011 MLS Cup Champions
#3Urb C 2Posted 6/6/2012 2:54:09 PM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnwltqhA7R1qzj7lm.png
#4kurdt032Posted 6/6/2012 2:57:41 PM
My missus has just got back from a Meat Loaf concert. She loves him so much she's had a huge tattoo done all the way around her midriff, in his honour. On her front, below her stomach, it says 'I would do anything for love'.

Continuing around to her backside it says

'... but I won't do that.'
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Lovin' would be easy if your colours were like my dreams
#5SaikyoStylePosted 6/6/2012 2:59:30 PM
My dad called me into his room the other day and said to me "son, you'd better quit jerking off so much or you'll go blind."

I said "dad, I'm over here."
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USA Soccer
Where's my froggy!?!?!
#6MCJess(Topic Creator)Posted 6/6/2012 2:59:48 PM
This topic was secretly made in your honour Kurdt.
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'Some problems will never be resolved by the mammalian equipment of the human cerebral cortex' - Christopher Hitchens
#7ToiIetPosted 6/6/2012 3:00:43 PM
i went to see the doctor about my dick, and he told me that i'd need to stop masturbating. "why?", i asked. "because i'm trying to examine you".
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KC
http://i.imgur.com/Wz1JY.jpg
#8PappinAcePosted 6/6/2012 3:18:25 PM
A hippie gets into a bus and sits next to a nun, whom he finds attractive. He asks, "Hey, ever had sex with a hippie?" She replies, "Get away heathen!" and gets off at the next stop. The bus driver comes up to the hippie and says "You want to have sex with a nun, go to the graveyard over there near the bus stop Thursday night at 9:00. There is always one praying there."

"Great, thanks!" says the excited hippie. On Thursday night, he dresses up as an angel and find the nun praying there like the bus driver said. He says to her, "Jesus has sent me from heaven. He says we have to have sex to save the world." The nun says "Ok but only up the butt, it's forbidden for me to do it any other way." The hippie is fine with that and they do it. After it's over, he takes off his mask and says "Surprise! I'm no angel, I'm the guy from the bus!" The nun turns around and takes off her mask.

"Surprise! I'm no nun, I'm the bus driver!"
#9PappinAcePosted 6/6/2012 3:19:20 PM
Two crazy guys are walking down the street. One suddenly stops the other, bends down, and picks up a pile of dog s***, holding it up to him.

"Look what you almost stepped in!"
#10GrengosaurusPosted 6/6/2012 3:22:55 PM
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all your friends."
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Hey hey what can I say, bebebebebebebebeh
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