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You dont have to choose the actual siege option to take a town. When you select siege it tells you that you will take significant damage. I had 1500 troops lose to 100 for example. However if you just keep your troops in the area they will attack still, look at the little bar on the left when you choose the area and you will see your guys and theirs, theirs will slowly go down so just keep doing this and not click the siege button.