The adventures of Tameem. Part 4.

#1Yuji KaidoPosted 11/20/2012 11:08:00 PM
Disclaimer: Just decided to repost my old Tameem stuff. Errr.. Enjoy.
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Developer 1: Okay. So Capcom has trusted us with redesigning Dante. Big decision. It's best that we make the game better so as to not have anyone resent us.

Tameen: I've always wanted to be in a video game.

*uncomfortable silence*

Developer 2: How about we make him a bit buffer. I mean a master demon slayer should look the par....

Tameen: It's always been my dream to be in a game.

Developers: ....

Developer 1: Well we have to change him physically at least. We don't want anyone lumping him in with the old Dant....

Tameen : If somehow by some wish or luck Dante was made in my image, then I would increase all my developers pay by 25%......but alas.....

Developers: $_$

And thus the new Dante was born.

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*Tameen is standing on a roof naked*

Tameen: Ahh. There's nothing better than sharing my greatness with the world.

Developer 1: Excuse me sir....I just wanted to inform you about......oh god you're naked.

Tameen: Come, minion. Bask in my glory with the world with me.

Developer 1: *sigh* I just came to inform you that the changes you asked for have been made.

Tameen: Ooh really ?!?!?! Let's hear it.

Developer 1: As you have asked all the enemies have been made into your likeness. The boss's and even the love interest looks like you.

Tameen: Oohh !!! Perfect. Because there's no other design as awesome as me.

*a sudden look of intrigue crosses over Tameens features*

Developer 1: Sir ? Are you ok.

Tameen: I just thought about something.....if the enemies look like me....then they will be attacking me. And we can't have that. Everyone loves me.

Developer 1: Sir your ideas are already put into effect. If we change now it could compromise our schedule...

*Tameen face turns red* No !!!! I want it changed and I want it changed now. *stamps feet*

Developer 1: *sigh* Got it sir. Any particular way you want the enemies to look ?

Tameen: Hmm. Make them look like the old Dante.

Developer 1: But sir....fans are already upset about the character in your image don't you think you're pouring gasoline on fire ?

Tameen: No !!! I want them to look like Dante !!! I AM TAMEEN !!! MY GAME ! WHO CARES WHAT THE FANS WANT!

Developer 1: Yes sir. Do you want the bosses changed as well ?

Tameen: Of course. Make their heads look like wee wee's. Oh I am such a genius.

*The poor developer leaves shaking his head*
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Sazh - Racist caricature and worst FF character ever. Don't agree ? Your problem.
"Death's embrace awaits !!!" - Evil Ryu
#2KA_ME_HA_ME_HAPosted 11/20/2012 11:08:35 PM
LOL, I missed this topic. It was pretty hilarious.
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#3Lord_MizerPosted 11/20/2012 11:09:07 PM
Ah yes, I remember these.

Still pretty funny.
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Can't think of anything right now, so....*Sits on lawn chair*
Hen and chicken is two different animals/Blanka always talked since SF1- OmegaPillow
#4Yuji Kaido(Topic Creator)Posted 11/20/2012 11:09:27 PM
*Tameen is drawing at his desk*
Tameen: Pew ! Pew ! Brnnnnn !!! Screeeet !!! Yeah. And then add a scythe......

*knock at door*

Tameen: Come in ! *continues scribbling*

Developer 1: Good morning sir.

Tameen: Ah good. You're finally here. You're late so I'm docking half your pay.

Developer 1: Sir....I'm 30 minutes early.

Tameen: *face grows tight* Are you saying I the almighty Tameen AM WRONG ?!?!?! You should be here when I want it and nothing less.

Developer 1: Got it sir.

Tameen: Anyway I came up with some more ideas for Dante.

*shows a piece of notebook paper with a badly doodled character with weapons sticking out of his body*

Developer 1 : What the **** is that ? A new monster design ?

Tameen: No. I just said it was the new Dante. Take it to the others and put it into effect.

Developer 1: Yes sir. I just came to inform you that the Capcom representatives are here.

Tameen: Ah yes. Probaly here to shower me with praises. Send them in.

*In walks Capcom CEO*

CEO: Good morning Mr. Tameen, very nice to......are you wearing a Big Bird costume ?

Tameen: Yes. I always wear my best suits to work.

*and the beginning of the very long meeting commences*
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Sazh - Racist caricature and worst FF character ever. Don't agree ? Your problem.
"Death's embrace awaits !!!" - Evil Ryu
#5Malus_X6Posted 11/20/2012 11:09:37 PM
Ah, the good ol' days.


This sequel was long overdue.
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PSN: LordMalus
XBL: LordMalusDCLXVI
#6Yuji Kaido(Topic Creator)Posted 11/20/2012 11:10:02 PM
*The two CEO's sit in the chair while Mr. Tameen puts his Big Bird feet on the table*

Tameen: Good morning gentlemen. Welcome to my domain.

CEO 1: Errr......hello. We came to talk to you today about.......

Tameen: How awesome my game is ?! Oh I know. I've been dreaming of making my own game forever.

CEO 2: .........yes....about the DMC game. We have some issues with the character design and some other things.

Tameen: *face grows tight* Issues such as.......

CEO 1: Well for one, your character looks..........well....really different.

Tameen: Yes. I changed Dante into the most awesome vision a character can be. Me.

*CEO's look at each other*

CEO 1: And another thing.......your character looks like a drug abuser. And really ghoulish.

Tameen: That's preposterous !!! I created Dante exactly in my image !!! Are you calling me a drug abuser as well ?!!?!? To come in here and boldly make those accusations is an attack on me and my character !!!

CEO 2: Well we didn't mean it that way sir but.....

Tameen: Oh. Hold on. *snorts cocaine off a mirror* Ah. *sniffs* You were saying ?''

CEO 1: Well....moving on. We also have a problem with the smoking.....the original Dante never smoked and doesn't really set a positive impression.

Tameen: What ?!!?! Smoking is the coolest thing ever !!! Hitler smoked !! Joe Camel smoked !! Richard Nixon smoked !!! How can you downgrade it when such great men smoked ?!!!

CEO 2: Well.......we wouldn't have a big issue if it weren't for this....

*CEO pulls out poster that says "Only wusses don't smoke ! Smoke and be cool like Dante !"*

Tameen: You wanted me to americanise DMC right ? That's why you came in on your hands and knees crying and pleading for me to change Dante isn't it ?!?!?!

CEO 1: Sir....that is unecessary...

*Tameen face changes*

Tameen: Oh I see.

CEO 2: Mr. Tameen ?

Tameen: You see how great and cool my game is so you try to come and take it back and take the credit for yourself. Well....I won't let you. *snaps fingers*

*an ostrich with a knife in it's mouth appears out of a cubicle*

CEO's: What in the.....

Tameen: Get them Robo-Tameen !!!! Plan Eviscerate !!!

*ostrich looks around, drops the knife, and poops on the floor*

Tameen : No Robo Tameen !!! Not plan Stink Bomb !!!

CEO 1: You're insane !!!

*both run out of office*

Tameen: Ha. Never underestimate my power. *presses button on a intercom*

Secretary: Yes sir ?

Tameen: Bring something to clean up ostrich poop. And a juicebox.

Secretary: Yes sir.....*groans*
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Sazh - Racist caricature and worst FF character ever. Don't agree ? Your problem.
"Death's embrace awaits !!!" - Evil Ryu
#7fifinamboPosted 11/20/2012 11:11:02 PM
Hey, long time no see :D
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Yes I think we`ve got a problem. So much for the afterglow.
#8Yuji Kaido(Topic Creator)Posted 11/20/2012 11:12:09 PM
I want to write new stuff. But I feel so out of touch with the material now.

*weeps*
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Sazh - Racist caricature and worst FF character ever. Don't agree ? Your problem.
"Death's embrace awaits !!!" - Evil Ryu
#9Malus_X6Posted 11/20/2012 11:13:04 PM
It's okay. You could always gut the original stuff and suit what you like to the way you want it.







Right, Tameem?
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PSN: LordMalus
XBL: LordMalusDCLXVI
#10fifinamboPosted 11/20/2012 11:13:23 PM
Have you just been lurking around here?
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Yes I think we`ve got a problem. So much for the afterglow.