Kirk, Knight of Thorns

#1Phantom0708Posted 3/22/2013 1:33:41 PM(edited)
We all know Kirk, he's the badass mother****** with the spiky armor

You see, Kirk was a regular knight, who wandered into new londo

Kirk saw the darkwraiths, but he gave no *****
So he stabbed them all

He finally made it to the abyss, which he could walk upon, because he's mother******* kirk

He spoke to Kaathe, the primordial serpent, who seduced kirk into becoming a darkwraith

Kirk accepted this, because he NEEDED MORE POWER

And so his armor was covered in thorns and he became a murderer more brutal and badass than jack the ******* ripper

Then one day, he stumbled upon twilight blighttown

He made his way inside Quelaag's domain, who tried to convince him to leave.

Kirk, a master with a silver tongue, convinced her he was merely passing through on his way to the demon ruins, for he was kaathe's chosen undead, and he sought to claim the lord soul of the witch of izalith.

When he treaded further within, he came upon the fair lady

The Murderous Kirk, who's badass heart had hardened, found he could not stand to see her in such a state

Furious at the witch of izalith, and realizing he had fallen to kaathe's wishes, he tricked a red eye orb out of the serpent and joined the chaos covenant.

From then on, using the power of the red eye orb and his extreme badassitude and spiky armor, he collected humanity from the corpses of his victims, so he might keep the fair lady alive for a while longer.

That is, until he met you.

He challenged you in the depths, and was struck down

He tried to stop you in the demon ruins, yet he was defeated again

It was then, before the fog door leading to the bed of chaos, that Kirk fought you one last time.

Defeated and wounded, Kirk limped back to the fair lady's chambers, where he whittled away his last moments by her side.


In short, you singlehandedly broke a man's spirit, killed him, stole his armor, and most likely killed the love of his life.
Good for you
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GT: Devilwillcry42 PSN: Raidoukuzunoha42
My name is Kanji Tatsumi, you said I like dudes, prepare to die.
#2hemphoarderPosted 3/22/2013 1:34:49 PM
0/10 see arc for tips on how to improve, better yet let him do these.
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I couldn't care less...
PSN:Sleepyydwarf
#3PHoToS999Posted 3/22/2013 1:37:12 PM
hemphoarder posted...
0/10 see arc for tips on how to improve, better yet let him do these.


Maybe he should try writing in second person greentext format.
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Silvy owns my pants...and my soul.
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#4Arc166Posted 3/22/2013 1:45:12 PM
Lol I like this. It tries to make me feel guilty by saying ''YOU KILLED THE GUY TRYING TO KILL YOU! YOU MEANIE!''

10/10
#5PHoToS999Posted 3/22/2013 1:55:46 PM(edited)
>Day Thorns in Eques, er, Lordran! SUN PRAISING AND ALL DAT STUFF!

>You are the Knight of Thorns, the badassest traitor Darkwraith Kirk.
>You don't just go where no man has gone before, you go everywhere.
>Hide yo kids, hide yo wife? You find em anyway cuz their humanity belongs to you!
>You swagger into the firekeeper's chamber.

Fair Lady! I have brought you a gift!
>She looks up at you with a smile on her lips and brightness in her face.
"Kirk! You're back! Did it go well? Did you get them all?"
>You blush a little and look at your feet.
Yeah, it went pretty well.
"Well, tell me about it!"
>You scuff the ground with your pointy shoe.
Well, I mean, ya know, it went pretty well...
---
Silvy owns my pants...and my soul.
Please sign this petition if you want the bbox glitch in Dark Souls: http://tinyurl.com/9f9gv8y you are our only hope.
#6PHoToS999Posted 3/22/2013 1:56:49 PM
Oh god, I have a fanfic blossoming in my mind.
It's either really good or really bad.
---
Silvy owns my pants...and my soul.
Please sign this petition if you want the bbox glitch in Dark Souls: http://tinyurl.com/9f9gv8y you are our only hope.
#7beggargirlPosted 3/22/2013 3:13:31 PM
PHoToS999 posted...
Oh god, I have a fanfic blossoming in my mind.
It's either really good or really bad.


Why can't it be both, like the Snape/Teletubbies fic?

Actually... that one might fall into the "really bad" category exclusively.
#8PHoToS999Posted 3/22/2013 4:55:00 PM
beggargirl posted...
PHoToS999 posted...
Oh god, I have a fanfic blossoming in my mind.
It's either really good or really bad.


Why can't it be both, like the Snape/Teletubbies fic?

Actually... that one might fall into the "really bad" category exclusively.


...what? I've heard of some weird stuff, but that takes the cake.
---
Silvy owns my pants...and my soul.
Please sign this petition if you want the bbox glitch in Dark Souls: http://tinyurl.com/9f9gv8y you are our only hope.
#9Phantom0708(Topic Creator)Posted 3/22/2013 5:10:06 PM
PHoToS999 posted...
>Day Thorns in Eques, er, Lordran! SUN PRAISING AND ALL DAT STUFF!

>You are the Knight of Thorns, the badassest traitor Darkwraith Kirk.
>You don't just go where no man has gone before, you go everywhere.
>Hide yo kids, hide yo wife? You find em anyway cuz their humanity belongs to you!
>You swagger into the firekeeper's chamber.

Fair Lady! I have brought you a gift!
>She looks up at you with a smile on her lips and brightness in her face.
"Kirk! You're back! Did it go well? Did you get them all?"
>You blush a little and look at your feet.
Yeah, it went pretty well.
"Well, tell me about it!"
>You scuff the ground with your pointy shoe.
Well, I mean, ya know, it went pretty well...


Genius

Why didn't I think of this
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GT: Devilwillcry42 PSN: Raidoukuzunoha42
My name is Kanji Tatsumi, you said I like dudes, prepare to die.
#10PHoToS999Posted 3/22/2013 5:34:12 PM
*bows*
Thank you.
---
Silvy owns my pants...and my soul.
Please sign this petition if you want the bbox glitch in Dark Souls: http://tinyurl.com/9f9gv8y you are our only hope.