Choose one person or thing from the Dark Souls universe you would want IRL

#51Art Of DrowningPosted 1/11/2013 10:45:06 PM(edited)
Bowdownbe4me1 posted...
... the cat covenant ring. Imagine being zapped into an alternate reality where you fight fearsome enemies and have no consequence for dying. You'd get pretty good at combat and have a GREAT outlet for stress.


This sounds horrible... I can just imagine...

After a grueling day in the office I step outside and try to relax. I want to go home yet I do not wish to put up with the traffic rush. I enter the cafe a short walk down the road as I always do, I order myself a drink and think to myself, I could relieve some stress with this beautiful ring by smiting some Forest Invaders while I wait out the traffic.

Shortly after I enter the Forest, I see a Giant with an absurdly ugly mask charging at me with some huge glowing phallic weapon. I attempt to parry and my cheap Timex shield shatters into pieces. The blow of the weapon sent vibrations up my arms and into my body, I shudder but do not give in! I kick at my assailant and he is forced back a step. I lunge and stab him repeatedly with my Baller Swag Point Pen +15 inflicting copious amounts of Ink on him but he does not even flinch from my barrage. He begins to attack again and I dive away from him narrowly avoiding my death. Its ok. My clothes are light as hell and I can dodge and run around this fatty all day. I go to start working my way around him as he swings wildly. I then realised I could not run.

I looked around in panic and it was then that I saw a figure in the dark wearing a coat and top hat with a horrifying grinning mask. The ground shakes beside me as the fatty's club slams into it. The shock covers me in dirt and I trip a little. I turn to see the fatty swinging again, I cannot run from this, but I can use the invincibility of my roll to get away from getting hit by it. I'll need to time this well, I only have one chance. I brace myself and begin my leap away to safety. I spring away from the attack... Or not...

I am rooted in place. I look on in horror as the club comes down over my head only to pass through me into the ground harmlessly. I looked down in confusion at the club and wonder. My thoughts were violently shattered in an eruption of pain as a wicked looking silver knife burst through my chest. I try to draw breath and fail. I try to say something but my blood bubbles from my mouth as I am kicked into the dirt face first. I bounced and landed on my face hard. I struggle and manage to tilt my head to see fatty walking across to me with his arms spread. He does this repeatedly. His grinning friend stands before me. I see my blood running down from his knife. He throws something down and it shatters next to my head and I hear a voice saying "Heeellloooo". He throws more and the words echo through my fading consciousness, "Hellloooo" "Helllloooo". The world loses its colors and I see an annoying message behind my closed eyes stating I have been vanquished.

My eyes snap open. I grimace and shut them again to as they were not ready for the light of day. Taking a deep breath I open my eyes more slowly and rub at the spot where a knife had come through on my chest in the phantom world. "Heart burn?" asks the pretty waitress as she places my coffee before. "Something like that I reply." She smiles and says "Enjoy your coffee." before heading off to serve another customer. I pluck the ring off my finger and look at it. I smile as in wonder as yet again, this ring reminds me that there are worse things in this world than struggling to make ends meet in an office with irritable colleagues and a pompous boss. I slip the ring into my pocket, smash my coffee throw a few coins into the tip jar as I leave to brave to traffic.
---
"A storm is brewing here right by my side
I've tried all sorts of disguises"
#52repliroidPosted 1/12/2013 12:13:07 AM
I think I'd choose the Hellkite Drake as a pet. We could fly around together and burn things and it heals itself and yeah :) <3
---
XBL GT - NetNavi Megaman
#53iphan4ticPosted 1/12/2013 12:25:44 AM
Art Of Drowning posted...
Bowdownbe4me1 posted...
... the cat covenant ring. Imagine being zapped into an alternate reality where you fight fearsome enemies and have no consequence for dying. You'd get pretty good at combat and have a GREAT outlet for stress.


This sounds horrible... I can just imagine...

After a grueling day in the office I step outside and try to relax.................................................................tip jar as I leave to brave to traffic.


I have to say, that was a highly enjoyable read.

@Topic. Agree with a good few things mentioned, but think I would go with the DWGR. Id love to be that athletic and dextrous as in reality I am not.
---
GT: LEGENDARY PLANK
#54J1miPosted 1/12/2013 1:03:19 AM
Dat self reloading Avelyn!
---
''I enjoy it... There's something mildly therapeutic about beating the **** out of something with a golf club.'' -Burn-the-light
#55augerrya3Posted 1/12/2013 1:39:26 AM
The anor londo archer
So I can torture him to death!
---
Help bring back Republic Commando! http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/914938-star-wars-republic-commando/57002133
#56sciicersPosted 1/12/2013 4:01:22 AM
Art Of Drowning posted...
Bowdownbe4me1 posted...
... the cat covenant ring. Imagine being zapped into an alternate reality where you fight fearsome enemies and have no consequence for dying. You'd get pretty good at combat and have a GREAT outlet for stress.


This sounds horrible... I can just imagine...

After a gruel...


damn man that was great. You should write more Dark Souls storys, i would read them all lol
---
Did you cleanse the world of another dark soul today?
#57Lord_KafrosPosted 1/12/2013 5:02:04 AM
Gwynevere , nuff said



/lock thread
---
I find it kind of funny,I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying , are the best I've ever had!
#58themefinlandPosted 1/12/2013 5:17:36 AM
Covetous gold serpent ring, Bags of chips are completely full of chips. Also never lose your keys.
#59AdvariousPosted 1/12/2013 6:35:31 AM
PENDANT!

IT WILL REVEAL ITS SECRETS IN THE REAL WORLD!!!
---
Hey, it gives me something to do at 6AM!
#60WH1TE_N1GHT13Posted 1/12/2013 6:45:06 AM
@artofdrowning that little story was an awesome read to wake up to, XD good stuff bud
---
XBL GT: WH1TE N1GHT13