We are all teleported into Skyrim.

#111cj1889Posted 1/8/2013 9:23:10 PM
i have no skills what so ever so i would probably find a house to break into steal anything with a good valu wait for the owner kill the owner take what ever they have find the nearest general good store sell the stuf make then get on a carrage to white run buy a dagger kill some people in there sleep go to riften buy a house kill some more people get caught buy the gaurds go to jail for 10 years but i break out grab my gold and go to a near buy cave kill the bandits and live the rest of my days in cave
#112RECON64bitPosted 1/8/2013 10:29:53 PM
I'd be a pick up artist. bang as much as possible and then develop some form of disease that'd tear my manhood from the inside out and burn like the fires of oblivion.
#113The_Viking_SwanPosted 1/8/2013 10:34:50 PM
Hi, I'm gonna work for Belethor at the general store.
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Official World's best Walrus
//NVBM\\
#114tweaker1Posted 1/8/2013 10:36:59 PM
I'm a chef, so I imagine I'd have good job opportunity. Maybe in Skyrim it won't be such a dead end profession lol
#115jrr18Posted 1/8/2013 10:42:28 PM
Well seeing as how environmental science is useless in skyrim go join the mages guild as a spell test dummy and spend my spar time reading or waiting for the green tint to go away.
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Victory over the 2013 zombie apocalypse through superior fire power!
PSN jrr101
#116strifechug2Posted 1/8/2013 10:54:13 PM
I'd fistfight with women then bang.
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I'll plant an IED right.... here... *dig dig*
#117LinkLuigiPosted 1/8/2013 10:59:22 PM
LaserGunPyew posted...
I had a crush on a much older woman at my work for 3 agonizing years. Despite being capable of dealing with younger, and what was perceived as, more attractive women, I've never really cared for that **** it's easy to have a hot body at 22, no one cares. This woman went to the gym 6 days a week and ate grass or some **** to look like that. I became utterly and hopelessly infatuated, then just intimidated.

It got so bad and finally I left her a letter at her desk (well, crumpled up in her trash bin and had someone fetch it out when I called in smashed out of my face at 10 am). So I come into work next week and just sit at the smoking area where I always see her but try and play it off all cool and pretend I'm reading Kerouac (ugh). She later talks to me and says I appreciate that note very much anddddddd my reaction is to blush, make incoherent noises, turn around and walk into the door.

Then turn the handle.

Then walk into the door again.

Then turn it properly and run down the stairs.

I didn't speak to her for a few months after that. Until 3 months ago I came in on my day off, hammered as **** and called her outside to talk. She obliged. So I start out fine then degrade into Tom Arnold with a limp ****. Somehow it was the government, I saw a UFO once etc. I'm so completely mortified at the shame loop I'm caught in spewing out nonsensical rambling I can't stop.

I CAN'T STOP. STOP WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES.
I CAN'T....I PRETENDED I WASN'T LOOKING BUT I WAS THAT ONE TIME YOU CAME OUTSIDE AND A GUST OF WIND SHOT UP YOUR SKIRT.
WHATAMIDOINGSTOPSTOPSTOP
-I THINK DRAGONS WERE PROBABLY REAL THEY'RE JUST EXTINCT THEY FOUND ALL THOSE BONES IN THAT VOLCANO-

BLLALAAHASHDHDJDNDNDAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFFFFFF!!!!!

All over my shoes. I quit that job two weeks later. So I don't have one.

tk;dr : I'd be a troll.


...i came.

to this thread.

Well, I'm a college student working at a pizzeria. So I'd be a Redguard Spellsword what specializes in Alteration. Makes sense.
#118Aleph_XPosted 1/8/2013 11:08:30 PM
Air Traffic Controller...

...Dragon Traffic Controller?
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Allons-y.
#119strifechug2Posted 1/8/2013 11:25:06 PM
I will kill all of those who teleported to Skyrim and become... The One.
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I'll plant an IED right.... here... *dig dig*
#120Ajd_KingPosted 1/8/2013 11:29:25 PM
LaserGunPyew posted...
bladexrules posted...
LaserGunPyew posted...
I had a crush on a much older woman at my work for 3 agonizing years. Despite being capable of dealing with younger, and what was perceived as, more attractive women, I've never really cared for that **** it's easy to have a hot body at 22, no one cares. This woman went to the gym 6 days a week and ate grass or some **** to look like that. I became utterly and hopelessly infatuated, then just intimidated.

It got so bad and finally I left her a letter at her desk (well, crumpled up in her trash bin and had someone fetch it out when I called in smashed out of my face at 10 am). So I come into work next week and just sit at the smoking area where I always see her but try and play it off all cool and pretend I'm reading Kerouac (ugh). She later talks to me and says I appreciate that note very much anddddddd my reaction is to blush, make incoherent noises, turn around and walk into the door.

Then turn the handle.

Then walk into the door again.

Then turn it properly and run down the stairs.

I didn't speak to her for a few months after that. Until 3 months ago I came in on my day off, hammered as **** and called her outside to talk. She obliged. So I start out fine then degrade into Tom Arnold with a limp ****. Somehow it was the government, I saw a UFO once etc. I'm so completely mortified at the shame loop I'm caught in spewing out nonsensical rambling I can't stop.

I CAN'T STOP. STOP WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES.
I CAN'T....I PRETENDED I WASN'T LOOKING BUT I WAS THAT ONE TIME YOU CAME OUTSIDE AND A GUST OF WIND SHOT UP YOUR SKIRT.
WHATAMIDOINGSTOPSTOPSTOP
-I THINK DRAGONS WERE PROBABLY REAL THEY'RE JUST EXTINCT THEY FOUND ALL THOSE BONES IN THAT VOLCANO-

BLLALAAHASHDHDJDNDNDAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFFFFFF!!!!!

All over my shoes. I quit that job two weeks later. So I don't have one.

tk;dr : I'd be a troll.




great reading


Thanks. Unfortunately, true story. I have plenty of them. Perhaps I'll pour a few of them into topics that compliment their musky aroma.

I have no shame though. There's one about limp bizkit and a shampoo bottle. And though I may cringe at the quiet patpatpat my phone makes whilst admitting that, I subscribe to the opinion everyone has deeply perverted, embarrassing stories locked away, that my only crime is honesty.


Your story is hilarious, and you're probably right about everyone being perverted in their own way.

I for one, am deeply in love with Candleja