3 years ago#61
Please do not post a picture of your fecal matter. ~AverageAverage
3 years ago#62
A dragon was flying around and it saw me so I ran away from it only to get attacked by a giant wolf and I had no idea why I saw dragon at the time because I had thought they were all extinct and so I was shocked for I was but an ordinary warrior and then I ran away screaming telling people there was a dragon but no one believed me so I tried to show them the area where I saw the dragon but there was no dragon there anymore so I was shocked and called a liar and then people were depressed at me for you see I was once a thief and not just any thief but a Nord thief and people looked down on this you see so I was a Nord thief that stole and people had a poor view of me so then I quit when I got older but even then I still had that thief look on me on my face and people would always be suspicious of me even after I became a mercenary later in life and fought in various struggles for the Empire but back then people recognized that I was a horrible person but I was not because deep down i was a good person but people only saw the thief in me and called me murderer yet i only wanted to fight for the good and so at that time i swore only to the goodness of all humans and then i fought and fought and fought and found no meaning in life so i went to skyrim but before i entered that was when i saw the dragon and that was what sparked this epic journey and the dragon terrorized the area yet no one believed me cause i was a thief and as a thief no one believed me and this made me sad and so people tried to kill me because i was nord thief and not a cat thief or lizard thief and why you ask cause nords are suppose to be honorable and powerful but i was a nord thief and as a nord thief other nords were ashamed of me so they wanted to deal with me and get rid of me so the i wanted to proove i was a true nord and not a liar even though i was once a t hief and mercenary fighting for empire yes yes yes so i tried to convince people i was an honorable warrior but this was hard to so i thought back to my childhood i had a friend that was also nord and he liked to trick people into thinking things were real even when they weren't so i tried to copy his example and with that example i decideed to burn down a village and make it look like a dragon did it and so before you flame me you should know that i had good intentions i merely wanted people to be aware there was a dragon so i started lighting fires all over the border of skyrim to show people htat there was a dragon you see if i burned it down no one would die to dragons because i would not kill anyone but if a dragona actually came and burned down the village it would kill people to so I did it instead to alert people but then i was found out and i tried to explain myself but no one would believe me because i had been a nord thief they thought i was a bandit pillager and put me on trial and all the kids laughed at me and the adults called me arsonist but i tried to explain i was not an arsonist it wa sthe dragons fault i just wanted people to understand the dragon threat was real and no made up and that i was not a nord thief but people don't believe me and the trial went wrong and i was to be killed no no noooooo so i tried to escape and i was tracked and hunted i ran and ran and ran then I thought for sure i would die cause i was out of food and water and suffering oh yeah i forgot to say that i wanted to return skyrim cause i wanted to go home and live rest of my life in peace after my life of being a nord thief and mercenary but no cause now i was going to die but luckily i ran into a bunch of imperial guys and i tried to explain i use to be a mercenary that fought for them imperial bunches but they saw my ragged clothing and thought i was a criminal and arrested me then those other guys that wanted to kill me arrived and tried to explain i was to die cause i set many many fires but imperial guys wanted to bring me back for imperial law and so i was placed in a cart with three people and the rest well you know the rest cause its history yo
The Judge, Jury, and Executioner
3 years ago#63
*breathing* dude, you NEED to put full stops in. Other than that the half I read was good
Rest In Peace, friend and hero.
Brad Nowells- Feb 22 1968 - May 25 1996
3 years ago#64
Gunning for the man who stole my water.
And you fire till he is done in but they catch you at the border
I do so love Riften. I journeyed here in my youth. A thief took my purse... so I took his eyes. It was a fair exchange.
3 years ago#65
Selling my sweet tight lizard ass.
The mind is like a parachute: it only works when it's open
3 years ago#66
-unlucky dunmer synod resarcher wrong place wrong time
-thalmor altmer justiciar spy
-breton assasin who was shadowing his next target ulfrik
-nord warrior telepoerted there from soul cairn
-imperial mage who was mind controlled by the 1st dragonborn
-nord hunter who were chased by pack of snow wolves
-israns redguard cousin who was on his way to the dawnguard fort
-emporers best archer (ocultus nord) sent to ambush ulfrik
-loser clueless breton thief
3 years ago#67
I was living in a small homestead I built for myself deep in the mountains where nobody would bother me, when a theif stole one of my horses. I got on my horse to chase after him, but the chase led directly into an imperial ambush in progress. You know the rest...
Cpl. Tom Morse, USMC, Founder of the Casual Killers Squad (CKS) Join Now! GT xKAGENEKO
3 years ago#68
I was holding a meeting with Jarl Ulfric. I lead band of mercenaries and had offered him my services for what i considered a fair sum.
However the Imperial ambush killed my escort and lead to my capture.
After my escape, no thanks to the stormcloaks, i offered my services to the Empire, to ensure that the bumbling buffoon Ulfric pays for almost getting me executed!
3 years ago#69
I was dishcusshing the ongoing hoshtilities with the rest of the "great" warriors.
I love how it implies he's supposed to be saying "great" sarcastically but the VA sucks so hard the delivery is just flat and seems like stupid comment.
What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?
.....clawing at the lid of her coffin.
3 years ago#70
I was getting Taco Bell.
History is written by those who have hanged heroes.
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