Legend of the Dragonborn Courier

#1Epic_McDudePosted 2/15/2013 1:10:51 PM
*Dramatic Music*

*Movie Announcer Guy (Don LaFontaine) Voice* "Before The Courier (New Vegas), there was... DRAGONBORN COURIER!

In a world of chaos... He had one chance. One life to live. *Slow-motion scene plays of Dragonborn Courier running from the Imperials and Thalmor with a scroll in hand and mail/scrollbag at his side, close to being captured, heartbeat audio playing throughout*

They were going to execute him. ("NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" scream) *Scene plays of the Dragonborn Courier about to be executed while yell-mouthing the word "NOOOOOOOOOO!", orchestral music swelling all the while*

But from his soul... *Scene plays of Alduin smash-landing onto the top of the tower and interrupting the execution with sinister music playing in background, heartbeat audio* Came the call of the Dragonborn.

*Scene plays of Dragonborn Courier escaping, triumphant music playing* Now, he returns into the world- Destined to deliver Mail and stop the Dragon threat! *Scene plays of the Dragonborn Courier in battle-ready pose, wind-whooshing audio*

Along the way, he will meet a man... *Scene plays of a BBM (Big Burly Man) running towards the Dragonborn Courier* *Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice* GET DOWN! *Scene plays of BBM jumping sideways in the air and taking an arrow in the knee in the process* *Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice* GET DOWN AGAIN! *Scene plays of BBM shaking the Dragonborn Courier violently before being Fus Ro Dah'd off of a cliff* *Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice* DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! THEY ARE TRYING TO TAKE MY SWEET ROLLS!

*Movie Announcer Guy Voice again* Bang some wenches... *Scene plays of Dragonborn Courier partying with assorted naked women of varying races in nothing but a loincloth, Iron Helmet and holding a bottle of the finest Nord Mead in one hand with a wench in the other while upbeat fantasy techno plays*

Train Hard... *Scenes play of the Dragonborn Courier accepting quests, chopping wood, stealing chickens (And later commiting a murder most fowl), working at the lumber mill, getting drunk and doing Fus Ro Dah 'Air Push-Ups'*

He killed stumpy... *Movie Announcer Guy Don LaFontaine weeps* *Scene plays of the Dragonborn Courier killing Stumpy the Dog in Riverwood*

He delivered mail... *Scene plays of Dragonborn Courier extending a scroll towards an unknown person's hand in a black, dark and smoky background*

And now he has arrived to deliver the final package... *Epic scene plays of Dragonborn Courier facing down Alduin and then pulling his middle finger out of his scroll/mailbag, INSPIRING music plays*

*Queen's "Princes of the Universe" begins to play*

DRAGONBORN COURIER! ONE WAY IN, NO WAY OUT! COMING SOON..."

*Slowly fades out, Queen still playing while fading*

This was inspired by this topic: http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/615803-the-elder-scrolls-v-skyrim/65441759
---
"Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!" -Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
#2Epic_McDude(Topic Creator)Posted 2/15/2013 1:12:39 PM
*BONUS!*

-Alternative "Dragonborn Courier" Trailer Deleted Scene-

"And now he has arrived to deliver the final package... *Epic scene plays of Dragonborn Courier facing down Alduin and then pulling his spiked knuckle duster out of his scroll/mailbag, runs up to Alduin and junkpunches the *bleep* out of him, causing Alduin to writhe and wince in pain while looking up to the sky and roaring/shouting, INSPIRING music plays* *Alduin screaming* WWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! *Dragonborn Courier Dragon Shouting while pointing both index fingers repeatedly at Alduin* YOO KNO WUY!

DRAGONBORN COURIER! ONE WAY IN, NO WAY OUT! COMING SOON..."
---
"Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!" -Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
#3Joe_CobbsPosted 2/15/2013 1:12:58 PM
Rated RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr
#4atomicpopsiclePosted 2/15/2013 2:08:30 PM
So.... EPIC!
---
Please search topics for "blocking differently?" to address my skyrim issue. Google is no help :(
#5JohnRyan1228Posted 2/15/2013 2:16:23 PM
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
#6ZimmygunnarPosted 2/15/2013 2:25:29 PM
Epic_McDude posted...
And now he has arrived to deliver the final package... *Epic scene plays of Dragonborn Courier facing down Alduin and then pulling his middle finger out of his scroll/mailbag, INSPIRING music plays*


I love you
---
GT: romertremor http://i.imgur.com/jcW29.gif
Pawn - Donovan/Sorcerer
#7Epic_McDude(Topic Creator)Posted 2/15/2013 2:37:25 PM
From: JohnRyan1228 | #005
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]


???

From: Zimmygunnar | #006
I love you


Do you really?

Also, funny gif. That guy's facial expressions just makes me... http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab96/cagealot/nicblgif.gif
---
"Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!" -Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
#8VincentVega13Posted 2/15/2013 2:38:59 PM
Love how you came up with this awesomeness on a previous thread and then gave it it's own, like it deserves.
---
To err is human, to Arr is pirate.
#9Cosmic_DiabeticPosted 2/15/2013 2:39:28 PM
who else only read the bold parts?
---
The bears can smell the menstruation
#10Epic_McDude(Topic Creator)Posted 2/15/2013 2:47:35 PM
From: Cosmic_Diabetic | #009
who else only read the bold parts?


http://themidnightalliance.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/put-your-hand-down.gif
---
"Fight for them, then, and die for their sins!" -Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night