The Godscroll Conspiracy

#1AflockOfHippiesPosted 10/22/2013 10:01:24 AM
Working on a Skyrim-inspired project, and like most "writing" projects the first page and/or paragraph is always the hardest. I won't bog people down with the entire story as it is/will be quite long, but seeing as how everyone on here (I assume) is a Skyrim/ES/this genre fan, wanted a little feedback.
If I get any negative comments that is fine and on this board, well expected, but please make them constructive and not just for the sake of trolling. (Even though I know a topic like this can't help but to be troll nip)

Anyway, just wanted to post the first couple paragraphs to see if it would be something people would continue reading or not if they were reading it in a different forum or format. So please try and put aside any bias you have toward me (good or bad) and see if you picked this up off a book shelf and opened to the first page if you would want to read more or not.

Evil was ahead. I could feel its ugly presence in the rash of small bumps that rippled across my skin and the uneasy knot that began to take shape in the deepest realms of my gut. Churning and kicking within me like some unwanted fetus of fear. I wrestled to tame the beast of my growing uncertainty while judging the position of the sun as it burned above me. It would be dark soon. Two, maybe three hours.

My eyes rolled back to the unwelcoming and dense forest of black trees laid out ahead and the eerie mist that served as its threshold. Whatever horrors and danger awaited this thief within had to be faced. There was no way around this. I weighed my weapons and skills against the possible, albeit unknown, evil that lurked beyond. The only choice left me was did I want to face it with the aid of what little sun broke through the forest's twisted canopy or alone in the dark.

A decision made more difficult than it should have been by the constricting serpent of time and the deadly threat that pursued me. I glanced back across the seemingly endless, grassy plains I had just traversed. Those that sought my life were at best a half day's ride behind. Perhaps less. If I chose to wait until morn to cross the vast and forbidden woodlands that stood between me and my destiny then they would most surely be upon me, and the scroll forever lost into the hands of the wicked.
---
An imagination with boundaries is no imagination at all
#2JMLSPPosted 10/22/2013 11:21:36 AM
I'm eager to read it, friend!
#3matteus70Posted 10/25/2013 10:13:07 PM
I somehow missed this.
---
"Yeah, gambling is a disease... But it's the only disease where you could win a bunch of money." -Norm Macdonald
#4FMLGPosted 10/25/2013 11:16:04 PM
matteus70 posted...
I somehow missed this.


JMLSP posted...
I'm eager to read it, friend!


These.
---
Remember Zapdos made ya!
I agree with everything FMLG say because we are twin sisters. -SpoonForkKnife
#5obscuritorPosted 10/26/2013 6:04:31 AM
FMLG posted...
matteus70 posted...
I somehow missed this.


JMLSP posted...
I'm eager to read it, friend!


These.

---
Xbox360 DuskObject
PS3 Obscuritor
#6matteus70Posted 10/26/2013 9:47:49 PM
Bump for inspiration.
---
'What will it feel like after you die? Exactly the same as it felt for those billions of years before you were born. Enjoy this wonderful gap.' -Ricky Gervais
#7RavensRules69Posted 10/27/2013 3:39:47 AM
This intrigues me.
---
Not changing this sig until Disney delivers a Star Wars movie that isn't utter crap
#8AflockOfHippies(Topic Creator)Posted 10/27/2013 9:40:14 AM
RavensRules69 posted...
This intrigues me.


Thanks. Like your sig. Hope they will. The fact episode 7 will at very least bring back Han Solo is promising. Like many, I was pretty disappointed in episodes 1-3. Especially 1. Guess we will see in a couple years. 2015 is going to be a huge summer for movies. Guess I should get one of those AMC cards before then.

Anyway, back on topic. This project I am working on is well, a work in progress. Something that I started fooling around with a couple months ago but have pulled back out as more ideas came to me on where to take it. I have the entire "skeleton" of the story drafted out. Now I just have to put meat on the bones, so to speak. What I have written is really just an early draft of the opening page. (which is still subject to change before it is all over with). Just figured this board might be a good place to get feedback for this type of story. Even if it is negative. (As long as constructive negative that I can use to improve accordingly.) In the next post I will stick up the rest of the chapter to see and hope if folks interests increase or fades.
---
An imagination with boundaries is no imagination at all
#9FMLGPosted 10/27/2013 9:44:25 AM
Good to see you're still planning on doing this. The first few paragraphs were decent reading, but more of the book(?) Would probably be needed before I could voice any proper criticisms, good or bad. =)
---
Remember Zapdos made ya!
I agree with everything FMLG say because we are twin sisters. -SpoonForkKnife
#10iDontCareBearPosted 10/27/2013 9:53:47 AM
Am I the only one who liked Star Wars episodes 1-3? Don't see why everyone has to hate on Jar Jar. He's just misunderstood.