TheGamingGolfer posted...Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. So basically any Wii game gets a 2 point disadvantage?
Yes. Thats kinda the point.  "Online gamers are the most ludicrously entitled beings since Caligula made his horse a senator, and at least the horse never said anything stupid."

Enigma149 posted...Super Smash Bros.: Melee Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, +2, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. No.
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. No.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup, 5/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup 4/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. Nothing.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. Now it's only 3/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. No.
Does it have online? Add 1. No.
So, our final score for Melee is...3/10 Oh gee you're right, quality can be accurately based on only a handful of superficial factors. How about this: Enigma149 posted...Metroid Prime Trilogy Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. Yes, 5/10
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. Yes, so now we're at 4/10.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 3/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 2/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. It's not a Zelda game; nothing happens.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. 1/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
Does it have online? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
So, our final score for Metroid Prime Trilogy is... 1/10 Ah brilliant. The real formula goes: Is the company well known? N = +6/10, Y = Add 10/10 Is the company funding this review? N = 4/10 Y = 4/10 + (contribution/1000) Would it look like we are company loyalists if we make this review too good? No = +2/10, Yes = 2.91235132111/10 Is the company a major player on the E3 scene? No = Add 2/10, Yes = Replace x/10 integer with 9 keeping the float value. Is this game very obviously good? No = Do Nothing, Yes = If unknown company, add 1, else Do Nothing Is this game very obviously bad? No = If unknown company, subtract 4, elseDo Nothing. Yes = Do Nothing  This is my serious face.

(Topic Creator)3 years ago#13 P4wn4g3 posted...Enigma149 posted...
Super Smash Bros.: Melee Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, +2, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. No.
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. No.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup, 5/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup 4/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. Nothing.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. Now it's only 3/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. No.
Does it have online? Add 1. No.
So, our final score for Melee is...3/10 Oh gee you're right, quality can be accurately based on only a handful of superficial factors.
How about this:
Enigma149 posted...
Metroid Prime Trilogy Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. Yes, 5/10
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. Yes, so now we're at 4/10.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 3/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 2/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. It's not a Zelda game; nothing happens.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. 1/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
Does it have online? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
So, our final score for Metroid Prime Trilogy is... 1/10 Ah brilliant.
The real formula goes: Is the company well known? N = +6/10, Y = Add 10/10 Is the company funding this review? N = 4/10 Y = 4/10 + (contribution/1000) Would it look like we are company loyalists if we make this review too good? No = +2/10, Yes = 2.91235132111/10 Is the company a major player on the E3 scene? No = Add 2/10, Yes = Replace x/10 integer with 9 keeping the float value. Is this game very obviously good? No = Do Nothing, Yes = If unknown company, add 1, else Do Nothing Is this game very obviously bad? No = If unknown company, subtract 4, elseDo Nothing. Yes = Do Nothing we're talking this generation, which did have a bad metroid game and a bad zelda game and a super smash bros game that every hates but I don't understand the hate cause its just like melee except if I jerk the controller too fast then I trip but its still a fun game.

P4wn4g3 posted...Enigma149 posted...
Super Smash Bros.: Melee Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, +2, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. No.
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. No.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup, 5/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yup 4/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. Nothing.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. Now it's only 3/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. No.
Does it have online? Add 1. No.
So, our final score for Melee is...3/10 Oh gee you're right, quality can be accurately based on only a handful of superficial factors.
How about this:
Enigma149 posted...
Metroid Prime Trilogy Start with 4/10.
Does it have decent graphics? Yes, 6/10
Does it have motion controls? Subtract 1. Yes, 5/10
Does it have any control scheme other than Dual Analog? Subtract 1. Yes, so now we're at 4/10.
Is it a Mario or Zelda game? Add 9 if 3D, 7 if 2D. No.
Is it like previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 3/10.
Is it different from previous instalments in the series? Subtract 1. Yes, 2/10.
Does it have an art style aside from hyperrealism? If it does, and it is a Zelda game, subtract 1; otherwise, do nothing. It's not a Zelda game; nothing happens.
Is it a new IP? Subtract 1. Nope.
Is it an old IP? Subtract 1. Yup. 1/10.
Is it Japan and / or Europe exclusive? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
Does it have online? Add 1. Nobody cares. Seriously though, nothing happens.
So, our final score for Metroid Prime Trilogy is... 1/10 Ah brilliant.
The real formula goes: Is the company well known? N = +6/10, Y = Add 10/10 Is the company funding this review? N = 4/10 Y = 4/10 + (contribution/1000) Would it look like we are company loyalists if we make this review too good? No = +2/10, Yes = 2.91235132111/10 Is the company a major player on the E3 scene? No = Add 2/10, Yes = Replace x/10 integer with 9 keeping the float value. Is this game very obviously good? No = Do Nothing, Yes = If unknown company, add 1, else Do Nothing Is this game very obviously bad? No = If unknown company, subtract 4, elseDo Nothing. Yes = Do Nothing Oh, please. You can tell that post wasn't serious. I was making fun of review sites who only give high scores to popular games, fans who want a series to change but then rage when it's different, people who care only about graphics, reviewers who hate, or (in a certain GameSpot reviewer's case, don't understand), anything that's not dual analog, and the recent trend of good games not getting localized.  3DS:489759351924; PS3 sold in anticipation of PS4. If you added CrimsonEnigma, I no longer use the account. 'Your opinion does not matter.' DesperateMonkey

Enigma149 posted...You can tell that post wasn't serious. Fair enough. Mine wasn't serious either, but it's completely accurate.  This is my serious face.

How to review a Nintendo game: GameFaqs style 
Is it a Nintendo game? : 0/10 Have you actually played it? Add 0. Is it fun? Add 0.  LineTroll posted: Mario Galaxy is just like a Sonic game. http://img.gamefaqs.net/screens/1/9/b/gfs_75574_2_16.jpg
