What if the super smash bros characters had the following jobs...
Hey fat boy Mario, fix the damn sink pipe. It's looking green and fell of brown things on legs.
Hey deathstare Luigi, quit looking and fix my damn vacuum! And stop with all the wavedashing, this isn't ice skating.
Hey DK, fix me a Windsor knot on my tie, and fetch me a banana would ya? I'm running out of bananas in the house.
Hey Pikachu, make it rain with thunder clouds, the damn lawn needs watering!
Hey Jiggly Puff, put the kids to sleep! Its past 10pm and I need some me time!
Hey Lucario, give my that wimp neighbor boy some karate lessons! He looks weak and puny for his age and one look at him, and you know he has lunch money he's willing to give.
Hey Game and Watch, watch the damn soccer game for me and give me the highlights. I want the entire game recorded so I can watch it later.
Ayo Sonic, teach these kids here how to quickly stop, drop, and roll in case of a fire. Dumb kids asking what the first thing to do.
Ayo Snake, teach my kids how to be stealthy so they can learn to blend in and "borrow" the neighbors food when they have BBQ's.
Ayo Pokemon Trainer, teach my kids to want to be the very best, that no one ever was. To catch good grades and pass their tests, to train in their cause!
Ayo fox teach my boys how to fly plane, and do a barrel roll. Also teach them how to check their G-diffuser system.
Ayo Wolf teach that wimp neighbor boy that "HE CAN'T LOSE!" Or ELSE HE'LL BE SEEING HIS DAD SOON".
Ayo Lucas, I don't believe in child labor so stop playing games, do your homework, and go to school on time. Start paying attention in class, or no videogames on the weekend and you'll go back to your Mother 3.
Ayo Ness, you're a little older, but stop PK THunder and PK firing and do your homework, or you'll go back to Japan to your Mother 3.
Ayo Yoshi, teach my horses how to double jump in the air to get apples from the trees. This going to save me mad money.
AYO King Dee Dee, go on Jenny Craig or some weight loss program, stop having the waddle dee's do your work for you, you fat lazy poor excuse of a kirby villain.
Ayo Kirby, Go work at Coldstone creamery and make me a mixed ice cream. Since you always like changing and mixing your powers. It suits you too, cuz you're fat and pink.
Ayo Rob, my kids keep getting shown up by some kids who think they got some gay dance moves. Yo teach them to robot so good that they embarrass those other kids!
Ayo Peach make me a sandwich, and bake me a cake. You always like baking cakes and sh** for Mario let's see what kinda skills you got.
Ayo Metaknight go work for the weather channel and inform them of any incoming tornadoes.
Ayo Captain Olimar, I broke my gameboy into a bunch of pieces that are scattered around the yard. Go and find all the parts.
Ayo Pit, go talk to father God and ask him to make me rich and that when my time comes, I wanna go to the part of heaven thats full of beack resorts.
Ayo Link go and explore the underground dungeon, I mean basement, and see if you can find that coin collection I was talking about earlier.
Ayo Ike, yo get out of here, and Tell our boy Roy to come back. You're boring.
Ayo Wario, some kids stole my bike, yo get it back and fix the chain.
Anyone else think of other jobs. Make them as funny as possible.