I'm not posting this for any loot, just for the sake of sharing a joke.
A man walks into a bar and takes a seat near the bartender. The bartender sees the man sit down, and says "You see that donkey over there?" The man looks over his shoulder and cautiously replies "Yeah, what about it?" Bartender says "If you make that donkey laugh, you can have free drinks for the night." The man thinks about it for a few minutes while the bartender serves other patrons. Eventually he says "Hey bartender, I'm going to make your donkey laugh now." "Good luck!" Says the bartender. The man walks over to the donkey, whispers into his ear, and the donkey bursts out in laughter, getting everyone's attention. The man walks back to to his seat and gets his drinks free the rest of the night.
The next evening, the man goes back to the bar and takes the same seat. The bartender says "you're the guy from last night, right? The one that made my donkey laugh?" "Sure am," says the man. "Well, if you want free drinks tonight, you need to make my donkey cry." So once again, the man sits and thinks, and after a couple of minutes says "Hey, bartender! I can make that donkey cry, but I need to take him somewhere private." The bartender hesitantly replies, "Alright, well... I guess you can take him out back." So the bartender walks his donkey out behind the bar with the man. The man says "This will only take a few minutes. I'll bring him back in when I'm done."
After about 15 or so minutes, the bartender sees the man bringing his donkey back inside the bar, and sure enough, the donkey is in tears. When the man takes his seat the bartender gets him a drink and says, "Alright first you made my donkey laugh, and tonight you made him cry. No one has ever done that before! Just how in the hell did you do it!?" The man grins and replies, "Well, last night when I whispered into his ear to make him laugh, I told him that I had a bigger d*** than he did. Tonight, I made him cry by proving I have a bigger d*** than him."
Two space explorers landed on a distant planet. The first space explorer asked, "Wonder what kind of aliens lived here before?" The second space explorer replied, "A group of aliens that communicated through farting before dieing out," The first space explorer puzzled asked, "How did they die out?" "They discovered fire," said the second space explorer. --- Will a human turn into a god, or will a god turn into a human.