Hey guys, mind checking out my review?

#1abnergoinbigPosted 12/6/2012 8:32:37 PM
I've recently decided to go to school for Journalism to pursue a career in gaming journalism. For practice I've been trying to write some reviews on games that I purchase and I recently did a review for this game. I would greatly appreciate if you guys checked it out and shared your thoughts and opinions on it. Criticism is also welcome since I am definitely looking forward to getting better at this. Thanks guys.

Here's the link - http://www.gamespot.com/users/abnergoinbig/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=m-100-25999927
#2iPutinWORKPosted 12/6/2012 8:37:00 PM
I approve. (*is a journalism major*)
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#3KindertotenwaldPosted 12/6/2012 8:38:03 PM
You never start a sentence with and.

Not trying to be rude but if you want to be a journalist, you need to know that sort of stuff.

Also you have misspelled a few names and such and got some information incorrect (level 3's do not guarantee 3 kills.

Also the overall structure seems a tad all over the place and you explain some of your points in a long winded way, but overall it was a fair review.
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PSASBR: Big Daddy, Raiden
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#4G-ScythePosted 12/6/2012 8:40:07 PM
tl;dr

but i agree with 8/10
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#5TheNardDogPosted 12/6/2012 8:42:32 PM
Kindertotenwald posted...
You never start a sentence with and.

Not trying to be rude but if you want to be a journalist, you need to know that sort of stuff.

Also you have misspelled a few names and such and got some information incorrect (level 3's do not guarantee 3 kills.

Also the overall structure seems a tad all over the place and you explain some of your points in a long winded way, but overall it was a fair review.

You can start sentences with "And". They tell you not to in school, but they in literature you'll see them do it all the time. Actually, yeah, he's taking a class or something. They might not want him to. Just saying though.
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#6abnergoinbig(Topic Creator)Posted 12/6/2012 8:43:26 PM
Kindertotenwald posted...
You never start a sentence with and.

Not trying to be rude but if you want to be a journalist, you need to know that sort of stuff.

Also you have misspelled a few names and such and got some information incorrect (level 3's do not guarantee 3 kills.

Also the overall structure seems a tad all over the place and you explain some of your points in a long winded way, but overall it was a fair review.


I see what you're talking about. I really appreciate it and will definitely remember this for my next review.
#7KindertotenwaldPosted 12/6/2012 8:44:50 PM
TheNardDog posted...
Kindertotenwald posted...
You never start a sentence with and.

Not trying to be rude but if you want to be a journalist, you need to know that sort of stuff.

Also you have misspelled a few names and such and got some information incorrect (level 3's do not guarantee 3 kills.

Also the overall structure seems a tad all over the place and you explain some of your points in a long winded way, but overall it was a fair review.

You can start sentences with "And". They tell you not to in school, but they in literature you'll see them do it all the time. Actually, yeah, he's taking a class or something. They might not want him to. Just saying though.


In books the only time I see a sentence start with and is when a character is actually talking.
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PSASBR: Big Daddy, Raiden
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#8PirateKing290Posted 12/6/2012 8:55:21 PM
I like it.

Though... why do you spell it Pa Rappa. Isn't it Parappa?
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#9iPutinWORKPosted 12/6/2012 8:58:17 PM
*Is a Journalism major*


You can start sentences with "and." However, he is correct that they will teach you not to. It's also important to keep in mind that AP Style (standard newspaper format for journalists) has a great number of rules and conventions that are atypical outside of a newspaper.

If you know the rules, you can sometimes break them (but you run the risk of being called out). Kinder's other points are good ones too.

You missed a fact here and there, but the article is overall a good read, and fair. I didn't know what level of detail you were looking in a critique. But good stuff, IMO.
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#10kaserdemonPosted 12/6/2012 9:01:45 PM
Kindertotenwald posted...
You never start a sentence with and.

Not trying to be rude but if you want to be a journalist, you need to know that sort of stuff.

Also you have misspelled a few names and such and got some information incorrect (level 3's do not guarantee 3 kills.

Also the overall structure seems a tad all over the place and you explain some of your points in a long winded way, but overall it was a fair review.


I used to think the same way about starting sentences with "And". It was the way we were all taught in grade school I guess.

Truth is you can start a sentence with "And" if it continues from the previous sentences information. At least, that's what I've been told. *shrugs*
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