Feral's Bitterblack Journal: Exploits and Poor Decisions. (spoiler-y)

#51Devilfire_GrovePosted 7/2/2013 2:52:50 PM
robert43s posted...

Well, you know England, probably got stuck on the M25 (biggest car park in Europe) :)


QFT:)
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GT: Devilfire Grove
Pawn: Plague/Lvl200/Strider - A lean, mean, debilitating machine.
#52Fear_AwakensPosted 7/5/2013 3:40:12 AM
Well, it's breaking my heart! Every time I click this topic hoping to hear of the final battle between Feral and the prime minister of England, I'm disappointed... I need closure!!! It's eating me alive!! Still, I guess it's not like Feral has to finish this... he could just be one of those guys who leaves everybody hanging, then goes into hiding for a year. Like Cliff Hanger. Nobody heard from that guy ever again.
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"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness." - Masamune Date
#53AngryOldFeral(Topic Creator)Posted 7/5/2013 11:42:45 AM
Night Seventeen: This Town Is Awful, and Parliament

This must be Hull, and now it makes sense that all of those corpses I was engaging in unholy congress with were warning me not to go here.

This entire city is pretty much a giant condemned and derelict crap heap that the authorities at least had the good sense to bury underground. The city itself spanned on for quite some time, completely devoid of any form of intelligent life and looking like what residents had once lived there decided to let the place go "Irish Wake" style... if Irish Wakes involved smearing fecal matter all over the walls out of grief. The amount of rundown council flats was innumerable.

I took a moment to summon a couple of more pawns... an archer woman whose breasts were enormous named Arenthia, and a pink-haired wizard lady named simply "Witch". Despite her namesake, she seemed pleasant enough. I checked my gear, tightened the straps on my gauntlet, and shoved the mentally-challenged bull face helm over my head as I pounded on my shield to get myself pumped up for the impending legion of monsters I was about to face.

I scanned the horizon, noticing the steps of the House of Parliament on the horizon. Or that could've been a gas station, and by contrast of being next to Hull the place looked like an ancient lost wonder of the world.

"LET'S DO THIS! GO TIME!!!" I shouted and sprinted into the city, ready to cut apart the foul otherworldly inhabitants of Hull and whatever monsters had moved in over the years. I stopped, highly confused by the odd, spectral voices in my head. "Hang---hang on a sec guys... I think I might be schizophrenic."

The voices proceeded to play out some sort of epic confrontation that I cared entirely too little about, so I sprinted forth and realized they were coming from some odd ghost couple arguing about some sort of crap about Arisen and destroying the planet or maybe she was pregnant again, I don't know. Even in death, chavs still plague the Forgotten City of Hull.

"There's seriously nothing here?!" I shouted. I hurled a throwblast at the couple as they stood there, yelling at each other, prompting them to disappear and continue their base, classless public argument in a new location. This continued until they had moved entirely to the steps of the House of Parliament. I took a moment to ransack what little valuables Hull had to offer, before approaching the gates and making my way inside.

Apparently the parliament is held in a gigantic temple of some sort. With a twenty-foot Satan sitting there, waiting for me. He stood up, ominously, I noticed that clearly this dude worked out. A lot.

"I'm here to file a formal complaint," I proclaimed loudly, and unsheathed my blade for dramatic effect. "...against your entire awful, sunless country. **** you and the garbage wolves you rode in on."

The Prime Minister responded by delivering a bowel-shattering roundhouse kick to my chest that sent me flying backwards some thirty-odd feet. I landed on my back, using the momentum to roll backwards onto my feet. Clearly, the bureaucratic process here was a little on the direct side, which was fine by me.

I attempted to look tough as I casually walked towards him as he was busy battling my pawns, keeping the fact I was about to vomit up shards of my own sternum to myself. This was not going to be a pleasant experience, but I had come this far already and it was time to do what I came here to do...

...wait, what the **** was I doing here? Some blonde girl in a canoe brought me here and tasked me with murdering a government official and I was entirely too drunk to refuse her proposition. This is what I get for getting blasted with Selene every morning to cope with the pain of coming to terms with my latent homosexuality... (TBC'd)
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Smoking Ghost / Feral Manx
Proud Outcast of Capcom Unity
#54closetblondePosted 7/6/2013 6:05:38 AM
AngryOldFeral posted...
Night Seventeen: This Town Is Awful, and Parliament

This must be Hull, and now it makes sense that all of those corpses I was engaging in unholy congress with were warning me not to go here.

I scanned the horizon, noticing the steps of the House of Parliament on the horizon. Or that could've been a gas station, and by contrast of being next to Hull the place looked like an ancient lost wonder of the world.

The voices proceeded to play out some sort of epic confrontation that I cared entirely too little about, so I sprinted forth and realized they were coming from some odd ghost couple arguing about some sort of crap about Arisen and destroying the planet or maybe she was pregnant again, I don't know. Even in death, chavs still plague the Forgotten City of Hull.

...wait, what the **** was I doing here? Some blonde girl in a canoe brought me here and tasked me with murdering a government official and I was entirely too drunk to refuse her proposition. This is what I get for getting blasted with Selene every morning to cope with the pain of coming to terms with my latent homosexuality... (TBC'd)


Oh God! The tears are rolling down my face! If you think Hull's bad you have to come further north XD
#55robert43sPosted 7/6/2013 6:34:44 AM
I would say congratulations are in order for making around the M25. It usually takes years to navigate around that car park.
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GT: Rob ShadowHawk - level 200 Strider
GT: DragonHunter720 - level 200 Sorcerer
#56meralonnePosted 7/11/2013 10:01:08 AM
Must...

read...

ending...


(Especially the part where our hero finds out that he didn't quite get rid of Daimon...)
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"Sigs are for dorks."-- my wife
#57Fear_AwakensPosted 7/11/2013 7:29:37 PM
AngryOldFeral posted...
Night Seventeen: This Town Is Awful, and Parliament

Apparently the parliament is held in a gigantic temple of some sort. With a twenty-foot Satan sitting there, waiting for me. He stood up, ominously, I noticed that clearly this dude worked out. A lot.

"I'm here to file a formal complaint," I proclaimed loudly, and unsheathed my blade for dramatic effect. "...against your entire awful, sunless country. **** you and the garbage wolves you rode in on."

The Prime Minister responded by delivering a bowel-shattering roundhouse kick to my chest that sent me flying backwards some thirty-odd feet. I landed on my back, using the momentum to roll backwards onto my feet. Clearly, the bureaucratic process here was a little on the direct side, which was fine by me.

I attempted to look tough as I casually walked towards him as he was busy battling my pawns, keeping the fact I was about to vomit up shards of my own sternum to myself. This was not going to be a pleasant experience, but I had come this far already and it was time to do what I came here to do...

...wait, what the **** was I doing here? Some blonde girl in a canoe brought me here and tasked me with murdering a government official and I was entirely too drunk to refuse her proposition. This is what I get for getting blasted with Selene every morning to cope with the pain of coming to terms with my latent homosexuality... (TBC'd)


I was laughing so hard I was almost crying. I hope you do the second Fallen City encounter and the Ur-Damien eventually. Really great stuff.
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"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness." - Masamune Date
#58Fear_AwakensPosted 7/15/2013 11:34:35 PM
...ending?
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"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness." - Masamune Date
#59ToxicZombiesPosted 7/19/2013 3:35:36 AM
AngryOldFeral posted...
I thought my impromptu roommate had invited friends over and went over there to make sure she wasn't about to come into the house and start writing bad poetry with Symone while I was trying to sleep.

Olra does come across as some sort of poetry writing type lol.
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Post Daimon Maps: http://tinyurl.com/mjrodym --- Magic Archer Super Jump: http://tinyurl.com/m4x634p
#60Fear_AwakensPosted 7/21/2013 1:02:54 PM
I guess he's not going to bother writing anymore. Shame, this was really funny.
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"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness." - Masamune Date