What am I reading?? Beard detractors must be put to the sword! We will not stand for this injustice.
Eating with a fork will, 9 times out of 10, make less mess. Also, you know, not eating like a neanderthal helps immensely. I personally keep my beard very clean. I brush it daily, wash it once a week or so, and since I just got some beard oil for my birthday, I've been oiling it up every other day. Like a true beardsmith.
Even if they cut off both my hands and I have to hold the pen in my teeth, I shall still go on writing music. Dmitri Shostakovich