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Name any Pokemon and I'll explain why it's better than Charizard

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1 year ago#261
Staten
Staten Island used to have the world's largest landfill, but it was closed in the early 2000s, not too long after Charizard was created.

These two are not unrelated.

Swampert
Evolves from a meme and has reasonable bulk, and it'll probably do super well in the rain with Mega Evolution. All of the Megazards don't do well in rain and Megapert is still leagues less ugly than Megazard X.

Bibarel
Bibarel is there to clear trees and rocks from your path, swim you around, take you underwater to see the most beautiful sights, and ferry you up the most treacherous of waterfalls, all the while ready to Moody its way through your opponents faster than you can say "banned from ubers".

Charizard needed to wait a few games just to fly you around, and instead of moody it just has mild mood swings between "sad" and "eat until the pain goes away".

Pichu
Kawaii as hell and evolves into a mascot who doesn't hog the spotlight on a Charizardian level, or Raichu, who is just one of the best Pokemon. Pikachu vs Raichu battles are always great.

Bob Saget
Was the star of wholesome family entertainment, yet has one of the dirtiest comedy acts out there. This is a fantastic juxtaposition. Also he caused the Olsen Twins to rise and therefore fall. This is fantastic because child stars are awful.

Charizard is basically a child star.

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Boldore
Its body produces gorgeous crystals and it looks like a crytallisk from Borderlands 2.

Charizard's body produces horrible gases and it looks like a five-year-old drew disappointment.

Eviolite Weedle
Weedle can use Eviolite considerably better than Charizard can. Probably because Charizard thinks Eviolite is grape flavor and tries to eat it.

Scarfed Happiny
Happiny has 100 HP and 65 SpDef, while Charizard has 78 HP and 85 SpDef.

Jesus Christ, Charizard. You take hits like a baby. A fat pink baby. The only saving grace here is that Charizard can at least make Happiny happy because it likes things that are round and Charizard is a borderline sphere.

Choice Scarf Splash Swift Swim Magikarp in the rain
The Scarf locks Magikarp into Splash. Due to this, it can only Splash, over and over, hopping up and down. Eventually it will hit ludicrous speed and jump so high, so fast, that it will transcend time and space and enter the realm of the gods themselves, a plane beyond mortal understanding.

Charizard's attempts to Splash would involve it jumping up once and hitting the ground so hard that its fat will shatter its ankles.
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"Murder of the living is tragic, but murder of the idea is unforgivable." - Janus, speaker of the synod
1 year ago#262
One Direction.
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Official Dunsparce of every message board
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1 year ago#263
Dave Matthews Band

Boy George

The Rock
1 year ago#264
oakland49kings posted...
Dave Matthews Band


I'll see if Lexifox comes up with the same thing before I say it.
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RNJesus hates me.
1 year ago#265
I actually hate Dave Matthews Band but was hoping for something funny besides Charizards weight issues.
1 year ago#266
Whitney and her Milktank
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Mega-Sceptile skeptic.
1 year ago#267
Whitney and her Milktank
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Mega-Sceptile skeptic.
1 year ago#268
Diggersby
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1 year ago#269
oakland49kings posted...
I actually hate Dave Matthews Band but was hoping for something funny besides Charizards weight issues.


There's nothing funny about obesity. It's a health concern that affects millions of people and will lead to very high medical costs and health issues, and it can be avoided.
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"Murder of the living is tragic, but murder of the idea is unforgivable." - Janus, speaker of the synod
1 year ago#270
Grimer

Raticate

Watchog

Ponyta

Fletchling
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3DS FC:195085778687- Flying: Swanna, Doduo, Rufflet SV:1496 IGN:Jin Region:UK
The official Super Enraged Shadow Lugia of everywhere
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