You need the regular Staff of Herding. The plans drop from Izual(sp?) in Act IV. You need the Black Mushroom (Act I), Writ's Bell (Act II), and the Gibbering Gemstone (Act III). Then you use that staff and 10,000 gold to create the Nightmarish version.
Theoretically they are if both parties are willing to trust each other because you can drop them. So in essence, I could drop them for you. I don't need anything in return, just make sure to look out for someone else in the community is all I would ask. Ie: Give someone who needs it your lower level gear that you aren't using anymore.