Eternal Darkness: The Abridged Series

#91Shining_BassPosted 5/22/2009 6:01:54 PM
If it's not too funny right now, wait until Anthony's Chapter. I have plans for Chapters thereafter.
There's a fan fic that describes Pikachu boring into a Golem, and exploding on the inside? Wow. No wonder it's rated M. That's bordering on X.- Utaro
#92Shining_BassPosted 5/24/2009 12:52:38 PM
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
#93Shining_BassPosted 5/24/2009 12:55:34 PM
Alex: Alright! It's a Gladius! I think it would be best to stay here for a while since I'm going insane!!! Let's read the next page!!!

The screen falls upon Ellia, a slave/dancer girl, who is reading the Tome of Eternal Darkness.

Ellia: Does anybody find it weird that I'm a slave girl in the 7th century who can read???

The screen goes to Pious, in Mantorok's chamber.

Mantorok: THIS IS MADNESS!!!
Pious: Madness? THIS IS SPARTAHHHH!!! *Drops wooden stakes on Mantorok*
Mantorok: You know, I'm a huge god-like being who couldn't move in the first place, and you've done absolutly nothing to stop me from influencing the chosen ones to kill you in the year 2000.
Pious: I blame the meat-headed Chattur'gha. He's pretty stupid compared to other ancients.

Ellia: Yay! I'm going to go on my own adventure! Just like Dora the Explorer!!! :)

Ellia traverses through the temple, and meets up with a zombie.

Ellia: Okay, what weapons do I have... oh, cool, I've got a short sword. *Looks at sword* This is a piece of crap!!! It's like a freaking dagger! This reminds me of something.

Screen turns sepia to Link in Ocarina of Time getting the Kokiri "Sword".

After many days of exploring, Ellia finds a blowgun. She takes it, and falls in a trap door. The dagger breaks, and she is left to defend a Temple Guard who most likely knows the Magikal Attack spell. It takes 15 minutes for her to kill all 2 of the Chattur'gha zombies with a blowgun.

Ellia: My god! This weapon is even worse than the short sword!
Temple Guard: Thank you for saving me from absolutly no danger at all. Here, let me fix you sword with magic.
Ellia: WTF?! Why didn't you do that earlier? Or better yet, why don't you just use your Alchemy skills to make it useful?
Temple Guard: I was knitting socks. I'm not making it better because I'm not the Full Metal Alchemist. And there's another reason that you'll find out in a minute.
Ellia: Fi- wait what?

Ellia makes it into Mantorok's chamber, where he forces his essence into her body quickly and painfully. Pious walks over to give her a chance to escape.

Pious: Woman, you may live another day, if you leave now.
Ellia: But you don't get it... I'VE GOT THE POWAH!!!
Mantorok (Whispering to Ellia): My essence is only hiding in you, it doesn't do anything.
Ellia: Oh cr- hey, wait a minute. How can Mantorok whisper if that's how he already talks? For rea-
Pious: FOR SPARTAH!!!!

Alex: You know what? I think this book is giving subliminal messages about 300.
There's a fan fic that describes Pikachu boring into a Golem, and exploding on the inside? Wow. No wonder it's rated M. That's bordering on X.- Utaro
#94ChaosSamus(Topic Creator)Posted 6/3/2009 3:35:58 PM
I just got Eternal Darkness back. Expect me to start by or during the weekend.
"We, uh figured out how to travel through time at the speed of regular time with plastic bags" - Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
#95Tekh09Posted 6/9/2009 1:53:12 AM
So, CS did Ulyaoth's one, and SB is doing Chattur'gha's one, anybody got plans for a Xel'lotath one?
To their enemies...
They were righteous mother****ers.
#96Shining_BassPosted 6/22/2009 6:30:36 AM
I WILL get back to this... if I have any audience at all.
Not changing this sig until Trauma Center: Under the Knife 3 is announced.- Started 5/24/09 at 9:35PM (EST).
#97Tsuyoi3Posted 6/30/2009 8:42:05 AM
Hi...i'm new to this board, read both, like them...maybe I'll do a Xellotath, she is my fav.
Police Chief of the Leaf Community of Awesomeness. Leaf-Maple...anyone want syrup?
Manliness transcends time and space-Persona4