Eternal Darkness: The Abridged Series

#91Shining_BassPosted 5/22/2009 7:01:54 PM
If it's not too funny right now, wait until Anthony's Chapter. I have plans for Chapters thereafter.
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There's a fan fic that describes Pikachu boring into a Golem, and exploding on the inside? Wow. No wonder it's rated M. That's bordering on X.- Utaro
#92Shining_BassPosted 5/24/2009 1:52:38 PM
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
#93Shining_BassPosted 5/24/2009 1:55:34 PM
Alex: Alright! It's a Gladius! I think it would be best to stay here for a while since I'm going insane!!! Let's read the next page!!!

The screen falls upon Ellia, a slave/dancer girl, who is reading the Tome of Eternal Darkness.

Ellia: Does anybody find it weird that I'm a slave girl in the 7th century who can read???

The screen goes to Pious, in Mantorok's chamber.

Mantorok: THIS IS MADNESS!!!
Pious: Madness? THIS IS SPARTAHHHH!!! *Drops wooden stakes on Mantorok*
Mantorok: You know, I'm a huge god-like being who couldn't move in the first place, and you've done absolutly nothing to stop me from influencing the chosen ones to kill you in the year 2000.
Pious: I blame the meat-headed Chattur'gha. He's pretty stupid compared to other ancients.

Ellia: Yay! I'm going to go on my own adventure! Just like Dora the Explorer!!! :)

Ellia traverses through the temple, and meets up with a zombie.

Ellia: Okay, what weapons do I have... oh, cool, I've got a short sword. *Looks at sword* This is a piece of crap!!! It's like a freaking dagger! This reminds me of something.

Screen turns sepia to Link in Ocarina of Time getting the Kokiri "Sword".

After many days of exploring, Ellia finds a blowgun. She takes it, and falls in a trap door. The dagger breaks, and she is left to defend a Temple Guard who most likely knows the Magikal Attack spell. It takes 15 minutes for her to kill all 2 of the Chattur'gha zombies with a blowgun.

Ellia: My god! This weapon is even worse than the short sword!
Temple Guard: Thank you for saving me from absolutly no danger at all. Here, let me fix you sword with magic.
Ellia: WTF?! Why didn't you do that earlier? Or better yet, why don't you just use your Alchemy skills to make it useful?
Temple Guard: I was knitting socks. I'm not making it better because I'm not the Full Metal Alchemist. And there's another reason that you'll find out in a minute.
Ellia: Fi- wait what?

Ellia makes it into Mantorok's chamber, where he forces his essence into her body quickly and painfully. Pious walks over to give her a chance to escape.

Pious: Woman, you may live another day, if you leave now.
Ellia: But you don't get it... I'VE GOT THE POWAH!!!
Mantorok (Whispering to Ellia): My essence is only hiding in you, it doesn't do anything.
Ellia: Oh cr- hey, wait a minute. How can Mantorok whisper if that's how he already talks? For rea-
Pious: FOR SPARTAH!!!!

END OF CHAPTER
Alex: You know what? I think this book is giving subliminal messages about 300.
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There's a fan fic that describes Pikachu boring into a Golem, and exploding on the inside? Wow. No wonder it's rated M. That's bordering on X.- Utaro
#94ChaosSamus(Topic Creator)Posted 6/3/2009 4:35:58 PM
I just got Eternal Darkness back. Expect me to start by or during the weekend.
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"We, uh figured out how to travel through time at the speed of regular time with plastic bags" - Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse
#95Tekh09Posted 6/9/2009 2:53:12 AM
So, CS did Ulyaoth's one, and SB is doing Chattur'gha's one, anybody got plans for a Xel'lotath one?
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To their enemies...
They were righteous mother****ers.
#96Shining_BassPosted 6/22/2009 7:30:36 AM
I WILL get back to this... if I have any audience at all.
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Not changing this sig until Trauma Center: Under the Knife 3 is announced.- Started 5/24/09 at 9:35PM (EST).
#97Tsuyoi3Posted 6/30/2009 9:42:05 AM
Hi...i'm new to this board, read both, like them...maybe I'll do a Xellotath, she is my fav.
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Police Chief of the Leaf Community of Awesomeness. Leaf-Maple...anyone want syrup?
Manliness transcends time and space-Persona4