Why does she randomly text me when she doesn't like me?

#1TNF4LifePosted 11/23/2009 2:23:58 AM
Jeez! I mean, she basically told me she only sees me as a friend and stuff like twice. And she doesn't treat me as good as her best friend (a dude but they're only friends). I mean, if a girl really likes a guy, she'll treat him above a best friend correct? But nope, she doesn't do that with me. I feel like I deserve to be treated more special because of the things I've done for her. But I did notice she treats some of her other friends the same way as me.

Anyways, last time I saw her was thursday at school. We didn't text all weekend until she texted me today asking me a random question like always. She's asking when my bday is because it's very soon. The thing is, she already knows. I told her multiple times, it's easy to remember (thanskgiving, this year atleast) and she wrote it down on her phone like 2 months ago. I'm sure she still has it because when she asked me at school recently, she then said "oh nevermind I think I have it here" and looked at her phone. We text a couple of times a week but it's always very short conversations and we see each other at school twice a week.

So why would a girl do this? What does it mean? Especially to one that pretty much said she doesn't want to go out with me (I quote her "what if you don't like my answer?" and "I don't know what to say. I can't say yes or no because I'm not ready for a relationship right now") Oh and last week we made a plan to go see a movie yesterday but that was it. We didn't talk about it again. I wouldn't be surprised if she forgot, changed her mind, or wahtever because she says something and doesn't do it sometimes. She's seriously annoying me with all this crap she's doing. Oh and this is the same girl who heavily insisted in me quitting tobacco smoking. We always talk about this (I finally quit but she still doesn't believe me and tells me she doesn't trust me).
#2LtaxPosted 11/23/2009 3:05:38 AM
I don't really see what the problem here is. You already got rejected and now she only annoys the crap out of you. Just make it clear you don't want to play her games anymore. When she asks when your bday is, just tell her she already knows it and ask her why she keeps asking it. For example. If you don't like her, stop making plans to be with her. Move on.

And just to clarify,

I feel like I deserve to be treated more special because of the things I've done for her.

This never works. You don't want to do things for her to make her like you. You want to make her interested in you by being yourself.

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#3Grand_SuperiorPosted 11/23/2009 3:36:17 AM
This happened to me two years ago. If a girl makes it clear that she only see's you as a friend, her texting you more doesn't mean that she's suddenly turned around.
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#4Torin88Posted 11/23/2009 4:44:03 AM
Well she could be leading you on. But she could also be doing this because she legitimately wants to be your friend, but doesn't realize that even though she doesn't have feelings for you, you can't just switch yours off right away. Respond to her messages infrequently until you're over her. Or you could flat out tell her you need some space for a while before you can be friends.
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#5jibril_14Posted 11/23/2009 6:32:58 AM
why would a friend text you?
i dunno, I'm stumped.
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#6NeoconkersPosted 11/23/2009 7:08:04 AM
A friend is texting you and you think she wants you? >_>
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#7TNF4Life(Topic Creator)Posted 11/23/2009 10:16:58 AM
^uh not exactly. We've known each other for over a year now. It's not the texts itself, but the thing she texts about. It kinda seems like she will text me just for the sake of it. I do this as well to her but my intentions are different.

But yeah I'll definitely have to clear this up with her. I mean, I got over her once already and I felt much better after.
#8JaohPosted 11/23/2009 10:23:02 AM
So, let me guess. You listen to her squall and moan about this that or the other guy, buy her nice gifts, take her out for free lunches, and do your best to show her a good time whenever you can afford it, and then she tells you that you're just friends and never will be anything more than that.

So you figure, fine, friends is better than nothing right? So you still take her out and spend your money on her, get used and abused as an emotional tampon, hold her close when she needs to sob for a minute, always do what you can to put her in a good mood. You're the best thing that ever happened to this girl, huh? Her knight in shining armor, and she can't see who you are behind this shiny metal exterior.

And you try to show her that you want her. You want to be with her. You still give her everything you've got, and she still just wants to be friends, but she doesn't mind going out to grab a bite to eat and a fun movie with you anytime. And you just let it go, because just friends is better than nothing, yeah? Yet you want so much more and she's not willing. So you figure **** it. You'll get over it.

And she keeps contacting you. And now you're grasping at straws. She misses you! She wants you too! This has to be the truth, because in your bubble, the only reason she would send you a text message at an unusual time of the day is because she wants to become your teenage wifey girl, right? THIS HAS TO BE THE REASON!

But your conscience knows better. It uses common sense, but you fight it. Your conscience understands she just wants another free dinner out at a fun restaurant, or a shoulder to cry on that spends its money in her favor. Yet you endure its tormented cries and battle on within your mind, positive that this girl wants to be with you. And your conscience leads you here to Mad Stalker, your only safe haven, an anonymous world where you cannot be truly judged. And what do we see?

We see an anonymous sad sack with a heavy case of one-itis who is unwilling to let go even though he's been shot down not once but twice, who holds on to the dream that his crush will feel the same for him if only he holds on one more day.

So get over it. She's no good for you anyway. Find a new pair of jugs to salivate over.
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#9JaohPosted 11/23/2009 10:26:26 AM
Oh I remember this girl.

Your situation is laughable at best. Move the hell on. She's worthless to you. None of this BS around the bush crap, be straight up and say "Guess what *****, I'm sick of this ****. You've been wasting my time for way too long already, and I'm OVER IT. So long and goodnight."

End of story. Get it the **** over with already.
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The entire reason we spit game is so that one day we can give it up. -Jordan Maxwell
\- densetsumanaman -/
#10TNF4Life(Topic Creator)Posted 11/23/2009 10:41:30 AM
lol funny thing is, we never go out to places. We just hang out at school or whatever. She does seem to work a lot that she doesn't do homework sometimes. So we haven't gone to dinner, movies, all that good stuff. But I did buy her some ice cream at school once because she forgot her wallet or something but felt bad and let me take a bite of her ice cream.

And actually nope, she doesn't tell me that guy or anything. She has briefly mentioned ex-boyfriends in the past and what not but she never kept talking and talking about them. She just said she wasn't going out with one of them officially since he never asked her out so she decided to break it up and move on because he didn't have the balls to do it and she gave up on him. When she said that she told me she thinks I have more balls than him. This happened like 2 months ago and the exact same day I expressed how I felt about her.

And nope, I don't buy her gifts at all. Hell, I didn't buy her anything for her bday last month because that's when I was getting over her so I said it was best if I didn't buy her anything. But both of us talked about this again on halloween after I had gotten over her. We were talking about halloween and then she randomly says "oh but you still smoke" and I explained why I smoked again and how I couldn't quit for a girl who doesn't feel the same way as me (note: I already wanted to quit and she was a great motivation after I attempted to quit smoking dozens of times this year). Then she told me some other stuff about it. 2 weeks later I bring it up again and that's when she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship and all that mumbo jumbo.