I feel like I might be afraid of getting into another relationship.

#1GameFauxPosted 4/13/2013 6:27:58 PM
I was broken up with by my first and only girlfriend ever about a month and a half ago. She was my first everything, from kissing to actually losing my virginity to her. For the first month and a half we were together, everything just felt so perfect. We were together all the time, we did everything together, we both just seemed like we wanted each other so badly and we were both happy.

I'll save you guys the long story, but eventually we started to drift apart and we had an issue or two that led up to her breaking up with me. We started out doing really well after that, but eventually I found a few things out and the whole thing went to s***. We don't talk anymore, don't even hardly look at each other. Other than having to work at the same store still, there's no connection between us anymore.

Anyway, lately I've been doing better in getting over her. The first few weeks were really hard, and eventually thanks to some friends I felt like I was finally starting to recover. Life felt like it was returning to normal. But lately I feel like I'm hitting another wave and I'm on the downward slope now. I just feel so lonely and all I can do is think about the two of us back when we were doing so well. I'm dying to find another girl that will make me feel wanted and needed again, make me feel alive the way my ex did.

I just feel like maybe I wouldn't do so good in another relationship. I'm probably just talking nonsense, but I feel like if I ever did find another girl, deep down I'd always just be comparing her to my ex. I'm not as naive as I was when I got with my ex, and I feel like because I got hurt as much as I did, that I'll have a hard time opening up to another girl. I don't feel like I'll ever get those same feelings back, or that if I do they'll just be dulled down and not as nice as what I originally had.

Like I said, I'm still naive and I'm sure to anyone else reading this, this sounds stupid, but any kind of reassurance would be appreciated.
#2OmegaRelentlessPosted 4/13/2013 6:53:29 PM
First break up is always the hardest man even if it's only through the course of a month or so, that being said give it sometime after awhile you'll be fine. As for what you feel regarding future relationships after awhile you'll learn to not compare girls to your ex. I know that's weird right now, but trust me what you're feeling is normal. If anything you'll wonder what you saw in her in the first place haha.
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#3GameFaux(Topic Creator)Posted 4/13/2013 9:01:07 PM
From: OmegaRelentless | #002
First break up is always the hardest man even if it's only through the course of a month or so, that being said give it sometime after awhile you'll be fine. As for what you feel regarding future relationships after awhile you'll learn to not compare girls to your ex. I know that's weird right now, but trust me what you're feeling is normal. If anything you'll wonder what you saw in her in the first place haha.

Everybody keeps saying time heals all wounds, time will make things better, and I know deep down that they're right. It's just hard to hear that right now. I've gotten a lot better in the month and a half we've been broken up, and like I said I felt like I was getting back to being me again. But I guess deep down I'm still heartbroken. I just wish this loneliness would go away.
#4TheHonorableOnePosted 4/13/2013 9:06:48 PM
you need to bang out some sluts.
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I tried to do a pull up on the shower curtain but it broke off the wall and hit me on the forehead when i fell into the tub. - coruptednumber
#5Vicious VincePosted 4/13/2013 9:08:02 PM
GameFaux posted...
From: OmegaRelentless | #002
First break up is always the hardest man even if it's only through the course of a month or so, that being said give it sometime after awhile you'll be fine. As for what you feel regarding future relationships after awhile you'll learn to not compare girls to your ex. I know that's weird right now, but trust me what you're feeling is normal. If anything you'll wonder what you saw in her in the first place haha.

Everybody keeps saying time heals all wounds, time will make things better, and I know deep down that they're right. It's just hard to hear that right now. I've gotten a lot better in the month and a half we've been broken up, and like I said I felt like I was getting back to being me again. But I guess deep down I'm still heartbroken. I just wish this loneliness would go away.


All your feelings are normal. You're feeling lost because you got so invested with this girl that your identity had shifted from you as an individual to you and her as a couple. Everything will fall back to normalcy over time.

One of my best friends had a very awful first break up (I'll spare the details, but it was awful, his gf basically went crazy, and I'm not saying that lightly like "ohh girls are crazy") and it took him almost a year to get totally over it. They were together for over 5 years, from 16 to 21 years old.
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#6GameFaux(Topic Creator)Posted 4/16/2013 7:10:52 AM
Another thing that's frustrating to me is wanting somebody so bad, but at the same time hearing everyone tell me I'm probably not ready. I know they're probably right. With my ex, I never had any walls up with her. She got closer than anyone in my life has ever been, so it hurt pretty bad when I got dumped. I feel like now that I know what that feels like, I've put up walls that'll make it incredibly hard for anyone else to ever get to that point again.

Another thing is that when it comes to girls, I just feel numb now. I've had two or three girls interested in going out since I got broken up with, but in the end I've let them all go because I just don't feel anything for them. I can still look at girls and think they're hot and all that physical stuff, but it's like no matter how much I want to start liking someone again, I just can't make myself do it. Nobody gives me the butterflies in my stomach like my ex used to do when we started flirting with each other.

I don't know, I guess I have a few issues going on. I just wish there was some way I could speed up this recovery process. I know time heals all wounds, but it gets frustrating just sitting around waiting for the bad feelings to go away and the good ones to come back.
#7DeedicePosted 4/16/2013 9:06:43 AM
you need to bang out some sluts.


Doing this jaded the **** out of me. Though, I am more confident in general than I used to be as a result. I just have different issues now. Didn't really solve much.
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#8GameFaux(Topic Creator)Posted 4/16/2013 10:31:16 AM
From: Deedice | #007
you need to bang out some sluts.


Doing this jaded the **** out of me. Though, I am more confident in general than I used to be as a result. I just have different issues now. Didn't really solve much.

I'm not really thinking this is going to do much for me either. I haven't gotten laid in almost three months, and trust me I'd love to get some action, but I don't think that's going to help out the loneliness any. It's a deeper issue than that.
#9EDIFlCATIONPosted 4/19/2013 12:56:28 PM
Don't force it. I know it's cliched but too many people too much emphasis on other people being the root of their own happiness. And when in your situation like you just want some time on your own you worry and you'll question "why do I feel like this?".

Just enjoy it. It's part of growing up. Realising that you don't need a girlfriend to be happy is one of the most important parts of growing up because it allows you to be free and also not put up with s*** in future relationships.
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#10TheHonorableOnePosted 4/19/2013 1:34:30 PM(edited)
From: Deedice | #007
you need to bang out some sluts.


Doing this jaded the **** out of me. Though, I am more confident in general than I used to be as a result. I just have different issues now. Didn't really solve much.


I thought its a pretty good way of helping to get over an ex. yeah it wont solve any real problems but you'll get your mind off her and once you get some bomb sex again you'll realize there's enough P in the world to go around, and you can find another cool chick to have awesome sex with.
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I tried to do a pull up on the shower curtain but it broke off the wall and hit me on the forehead when i fell into the tub. - coruptednumber