No no no. That one's old. Let me show you how it's done.
*S_J is driving a moving van like mad, scereaming about the candy cane stabbed into his eye. He ends up hitting a tree, a mailbox, and a dog house, before finally getting T-boned by a city bus which pushes the van another hundred feet before coming to a complete stop. After that, S_J gets out and flees on foot.*
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