Inside sources at Square-Enix behind the fantastically popular Final Fantasy franchise report that Final Fantasy Versus XIII may be coming with a few more inventory slots than usual.
Peonus E-News International Services report that Final Fantasy Versus XIII will be coming with inventory slots for undergarments and nipples. The move is expected to push Square-Enix stock prices up two cents.
"This is great, we can finally customize what our husbandos are wearing," quoted an Milly Heinz, a German-American who is really into Japanese culture. "We want our freedom to dress our husbandos how we like."
The rumor goes on to state that the nipple inventory slot will revove around increasing the new GAR stat which increases a character's manliness.
"That stat itself does nothing but just having a lot of GAR will make you really manly," some random nobody on neoGAF reported but apparently he's an elite so he's got some e-cred or something. "E-cred is like karma to Redditors or currency and females to normal people."
Square-Enix fervently denies the rumor.
Yoichi Wada states, "Look, there's no way in hell we will confirm anything on Versus. I've been watching a lot of Pawnstars lately and the best I can do is 'Info coming soon, please look forward to it'. Actually, why are you interviewing me in the bathroom?"
This reporter can confirm Wada births floaters.
"Anyways, have you checked our new mobile games?" To which this reporter responded "Which one?"
However, the move is not expected to help stave off the massive profit losses Square is set to experience this year by not release Versus XIII.
"Versus XIII? You mean Final Fantasy Versus Lightning for the PS4 coming 2014?" Lead Director Toriyama commented.