There is a certain pot one can buy that is a big GG when it comes to Twitch, Wukong, Shaco, and now Talon.
I had a Talon use his ult to escape and I did Garen's Ult on him right after he did and he started raging, calling me a hacker. Funny thing is it happened twice and the 2nd time he said he didn't play with hackers and rage quit.
"It also says you were adopted; so that's funny too" - GLaDOS
Talon isn't as bad as you are making him out to be, but as far as anti-carries go, Poppy and Akali do a much better job than him. Xin Zhao and Irelia are also worth mentioning, and they work amazingly well as off-tanks too.
Not a big fan of Kassadin though. I think I'd rather have Talon than Kassadin, but that's just like, my opinion, man.