The various types of LoL players explained and recorded:

#1ShibiscuitPosted 1/27/2013 11:50:37 PM
After a very long expedition, I have returned with my observation notes.

Silent Sam
This kind of LoL player does not speak. He will not acknowledge the awesome plays you did, but will also not complain about bad teammates. He will never ping the map, type in chat, /d /t /j /l, or even say "gg" at the end of the match. He probably doesn't even know why he's here in the first place, but just goes along with the flow. These players have no soul, and put Rammus to shame with their steadfast silent composure. However, Silent Sams will always know what to do, and will always be able to react to your actions through their legendary future-prediction skills. Silent Sams will never feed, and will always carry the team. It should be noted, however, that once in a blue moon, you may run into an exiled Silent Sam. In these cases, and for unknown reasons, a Silent Sam will become exiled from the herd. Scientists think the reason is because of something called "emotion", but they are not sure. Rumors say that five of these players being on the same team have resulted in utter catastrophe, but little statistical data provides very little evidence.

Flaming Fred
There is an actual psychology term for always blaming others and never being able to admit fault, but I can't remember and it's bothering the balls out of me.
This kind of LoL player thinks highly of himself. No matter what, he is never the problem, and it is always the teammates' faults. He gets mad at the slightest provocation, and will retaliate with comebacks complicated for his IQ, such as "your gay", or "stfu noob im better than you". With a diet composed of cheese fries and root beer, Flaming Freds do not have a very long life expectancy, and usually die before they are able to reproduce. It is to be noted that they have extraordinary genes, however, because most of them claim to be "buff" and can "kill [you] in person". They seem to be on every varsity sports team known to mankind, despite their obvious prepubescent age, so one should take caution before approaching.

Angelic Arnold
These kinds of players are near extinction because of their martyr tendencies and vast number of predators. Unnaturally positive and nice, Angelic Arnolds hold their teammates dear, and will do anything to please them. Acts of teamwork range from Flashing to block a Caitlyn ultimate to swapping roles at the selection stage. They often live in a special niche called "the support role", but there have been reports of Angelic Arnold spottings in different niches. Angelic Arnolds, however, face a challenge in life, as they are often preyed upon by Selfish Steves or Flaming Freds. In the mythical time period known as Beta, Angelic Arnolds roamed free like the bison before pioneers plundered and drove them to extinction. It is without doubt that these Angelic Arnolds are spiraling quickly towards the same fate as the Bison. Without any effort from the community, the Angelic Arnolds will share the same fate as the bison.

(1/2)
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Chivalry is what women call the convenient side of double standards.
#2Shibiscuit(Topic Creator)Posted 1/27/2013 11:58:08 PM(edited)
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Tryhard Timothy
These players try too hard at LoL, and often walk along the thin line between skillful and sad. They have no mercy for mistakes and errors, and will not hesitate to lash out at friend or foe. Some Tryhard Timothies have adopted a defense mechanism when faced with conflict, and type "LOL", "ROFL", or "LMAO" in all chat. The effectiveness (and reason for doing it) of this is highly debatable. Winning the match takes priority above all, including basic human needs such as food, water, sex, or using the bathroom. These kinds of players experience a brief moment of euphoria through victory, only to become crushed by the hard hammer of depression as they remember who they are in real life. It is a vicious cycle, as for the only way to experience happiness for them is to win, so they continue to play and play and play. Some of these people often play for great lengths at a time, and forget to eat or clean themselves, resulting in severe malnutrition or death (in some cases). It has been recorded that the mortal enemy of Tryhard Timothies are Flaming Freds.

Griefing Gerald
Dropped at birth, these players have acquired no social sense, and are victims of the pyramid of yelling. Often due to long days of reality where they often fail at life, they take repose and pleasure in sharing their torment to others via online activities such as LoL. These players have a vast amount of time and resources, as they most likely own multiple banned accounts and still continue to plague the community of LoL. Griefing Geralds will stop at nothing to be, as they perceive, "funny". However, the ratio of effort to achievement for the Griefing Gerald's activities is strictly negative, so the G.G.'s do not last very long in life. The Griefing Gerald's only predator in nature is the harsh, lingering reality that preys upon their unstructured minds. When finished with a grief, a Griefing Gerald has a brief moment of vulnerability, where their predator can snatch them up and bring them into the pits of an unforgiving hell. It should be noted that Griefing Geralds travel alone, but can be devastating if found in packs. If found in packs, it is advised to dispose of all edible substances, because one must not feed the trolls.

Selfish Steve
Sometimes referred to as "Scumbag Steve", these Selfish Steves have no care towards others and suffer from extreme narcissism. These players will often take advantage of every situation possible, ranging from insta-locking at the selection screen to the participation of the extinction of Angelic Arnolds. Scumbag Steves are often compared to the average pig, because they both do not offer any beneficial qualities to the world when alive. The only difference is bacon, and the lack of when it comes to Scumbag Steves. Hated by the community, both inside and outside of their species, Selfish Steves still normally function in this world due to their high tolerance towards critique and value of self preservation. It should be noted that, for survival, Scumbag Steves have evolved a stealth mechanism to reap the benefits of the world without contribution, much like a parasite does to its host.

A Normal Person
A normal person.
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Chivalry is what women call the convenient side of double standards.
#3PhantasmplusPosted 1/27/2013 11:54:29 PM
I hate alliteration.
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SUFFER MORTALS. As your pathetic magic BETRAAAAYS YOUUUUU
IGN: Glacierstorm
#4bobguydude1Posted 1/27/2013 11:56:17 PM
phantasmplus posted...
I hate alliteration.

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YOU BROKE RNG!!?!?!?!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!- insane_pyro74
#5EnclosurePosted 1/27/2013 11:58:01 PM
Normal Norman.
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http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/1678/87591610.jpg
#6allanon645Posted 1/27/2013 11:58:57 PM
From: bobguydude1 | #004
phantasmplus posted...
I hate alliteration.

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Currently Playing- LoL (Walkerboh64), Dota 2 (Melkyor)
#7wolfdude1Posted 1/28/2013 12:03:14 AM
dw tc, I appreciate all alliterations
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Platinum: 5156 5768 8062 Name: Banh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UwwPVcjbBE
#8anilEhilatedPosted 1/28/2013 12:10:49 AM
In the mythical time period known as Beta, Angelic Arnolds roamed free like the bison before pioneers plundered and drove them to extinction

This, by the way, is a lie.
Also wtf I can't find myself in there LIST WRONG.
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For who could ever...?
#9OnslaughtOfGodsPosted 1/28/2013 12:12:43 AM
*wonders what category he falls under*
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You're not even strong enough to kill my boredom
#10KeepItCivilPosted 1/28/2013 12:19:36 AM
Tired of the "this dude is mean/bad during this game, so he obviously is a fatty/failure/jock." Otherwise fine.
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Bristleback! Boo no BB this round! Fail valve releasing poopdusa over the indefatigueable bristleback surely hes next up - Hail_Berserk