One liners

#11elheberPosted 3/2/2011 3:00:39 AM
Speaking of donkeypunch, is he still around? My favorite was the one about ford unZips his pants and is like "yet down on your knees.

HA! You mean this one, right?
*mr ford talking to a defeated drudge soldier at the end of the game*
"well, theres only one conduit left for me to destroy..."
*puts pistol to drudges head and unzips pants*
"now bend over."


God... I can't believe the lines that came out of his keyboard. Let me bring some of his golden ones over here:

promethius: "hey, micheal.... whats it like making love to a woman?"
ford: "......... i wouldnt know....."

"hey all you drudge! come out here and give me a bj!!!"

*promethius to ford* "micheal, will you please stop shoving the ASE down your pants? im tired of staring at your balls!"
*ford chuckles*


Golden. Every one of them.
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"A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."
#12USPmasta(Topic Creator)Posted 3/2/2011 8:42:52 AM
YES!!! Oh man, I love that sick sun of a gun. But really, where is that guy? He should come and give us more perverted hilarious one liners.
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Daos for Con2 currency supporter! Touch the masters bass, lose an arm meatbag.
Beatles are the BEST band ever.
#13elheberPosted 3/2/2011 10:14:32 AM
Yeah, I sort of miss him now. Surely he'll be back by the time Con2 arrives. I think that in the meantime, we should do our best to make at least a few more donkeypunch-style one-liners.

*ford kills an enemy*
ford: "i guess its true that you crap when you die... now im going to EAT DA POO POO!"

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"A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."
#14USPmasta(Topic Creator)Posted 3/2/2011 10:21:26 AM
Hopefully.

Ford: Let's play army, I'll lay down and you blow me away. No, seriously, get down on your knees *****!

Promethius: How come you never T-Bag trust agents?
Ford: They bite.

Adams: I'm sorry Mr Ford, but now, you must- wait, Ford, what is that you are doing with my dead minions? Ford! Are you fornicating with them??
Ford: No! That'd be gross. Im using their dead hands to give me a hand job. I call it Necro-feeling-ya.
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Daos for Con2 currency supporter! Touch the masters bass, lose an arm meatbag.
Beatles are the BEST band ever.
#15USPmasta(Topic Creator)Posted 3/4/2011 11:58:49 PM
*ford blows up oil rig*
You just got bp'd.

You know, i heard they cancelled firefly because jason fillion drank some bad water *ford cocks gun* now ima 'take you where you cannot stand'.

Prmethius: so micheal, how will we kill this one?
Ford: hmm, i dont know. Ideas ideas, lets get the ball rolling.
Promethius: well i cant think of anything.
*ford throws ASE at drudge killing him*
Ford: hmm, well, i got the ball rolling.

Ford: you ever heard of tconslayer?
Adams:*gulp* yes...
Ford: well, im like him. But worse.
Adams: IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

Ford: hey prmethius, remember that guy USPmasta from the boards?
Promethius: yeah. Why?
Ford: this one's for him *rattles pupet with usp*
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Daos for Con2 currency supporter! Touch the masters bass, lose an arm meatbag.
Beatles are the BEST band ever.
#16elheberPosted 3/5/2011 6:03:31 AM
You just got bp'd.

What if there were BP logos on the Oil Rig level? Or at least PB to avoid lawsuit. "Petrol Britannica".

Ford (with the Widowmaker): I have Turret Syndrome. Get it right, Prometheus. ****!
Prometheus: I apologize. My mistake.

Human Grunt: For the love of God, somebody give me morphine!
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"A closet intellectual, he acts dumb to impress women."
#17USPmasta(Topic Creator)Posted 3/5/2011 7:30:28 AM
someone give me morphene!
HAH! Wtf?? XD

*afterfinding a new body*
Promethius: Hey ford, looks like we can finally go our seperate ways.
Ford: Yeah, i g- OW! *prmethius stabs him*
Promethius: Thats for all the teabagging and shoving me down your pants! Man, the guy has stinky nuts!

*shoots drudge in mouth*
Ford: Good. Now he can shut the**** up!

Ford: EVERYBODY! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! And wave em like you just dont care!

Elheber, rememer yojr page long scenario?
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Daos for Con2 currency supporter! Touch the masters bass, lose an arm meatbag.
Beatles are the BEST band ever.
#18SupahShnipaPosted 3/5/2011 12:58:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHXy-_mztg0

Conduit 2 could learn from Republic Commando.
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www.youtube.com/Pur3Aw3Gaming
Black Ops Screen Name - iG-Pur3 Aw3
#19tconslayerPosted 3/5/2011 2:19:55 PM

Rain or shine your ass is mine.

#20Shade_1Posted 3/13/2011 8:41:31 AM
*after a headshot*
What's the matter, can't take being shot in the head repeatedly like a man?