Welcome. Yeah, sometimes I feel the same way you do about this game. It can be quite connection dependent. You've come to the right place. Play a few matches with different members and find a couple that have compatible play styles and times, then you can stick to private matches and avoid all those problems with playing in pubs.
Probably 90 % of the matches I play are private, just with guys from here. At least I can trust them.
I usually play late at night. My friend code is in my signature. Send me a pm if you decide to add me, that way I'll remember to add you too. Welcome.