Penny Arcade on the 3DS

#1seb03Posted 8/3/2011 5:23:16 AM
Iíve made no secret of my struggles to integrate the Nintendo 3DS into the contours of an entire life. The machine is literally my sonís Pokedex - thatís all it gets used for. Itís very good at being that; I donít want to seem like thatís nothing. But, considering the lineage, itís starting to look like the blanged-out wastrel heir of a once great house.

We could say that they cut the price of the device, or that they are cutting it, when what they have done in actual fact is to butcher it, hacking madly until the blade meets the board. The cut is comically large, verging on the bulbous. It doesnít look strategic; it looks like theyíre throwing treasure overboard in an attempt to keep the ship above water. Maybe they've got a "media story" that makes all of this look like a real plan, but who knows. Their online store is a nightmare: itís like the nightmare an actual online store would have, itís like if an online store were looking into a mirror while its face melted away and the only thing that could staunch this horror was the eventual liquefaction of its optic nerve.



http://www.penny-arcade.com/2011/8/1/
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#2Marcster1994Posted 8/3/2011 5:30:54 AM
I can agree that the eShop can be a bit weird to navigate. One day I find a game that considered playing and the next day, it's gone and I can't find it.
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#3__Fiale__Posted 8/3/2011 5:42:37 AM
Lol spot on with the eshop.
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#4CapnStankyPosted 8/3/2011 6:37:35 AM
Article is exactly right. The E-shop is as poorly designed as all of Nintendo's online ventures, and kids covet smartphones and iPod Touches now. And why wouldn't they with their ability to play high res movies, TV shows, movie rentals, music, cheap and free addictive games, texting etc etc. And Nintendo's answer to all of that was a really poorly made store, a low res screen, stylus-based touchscreen, a pedometer instead of an achievement system, and 40 dollar games. While Nintendo's sales plummet, Google saw the rise in their phones go up 172 percent over the past year. And Apple went up 110 percent in the last quarter. Nintendo just doesn't get it. They smartly acknowledge that they're frightened of Apple and Google, but they do nothing to counter them.
#5NoPointMadePosted 8/3/2011 7:36:25 AM(edited)
Their online store is a nightmare: itís like the nightmare an actual online store would have, itís like if an online store were looking into a mirror while its face melted away and the only thing that could staunch this horror was the eventual liquefaction of its optic nerve.


Am I the only one who thinks the author is a big honking nerd for writing like this?

Really, I think he enjoyed spouting his high-brow analogies than giving any useful critique that all of it rubbed off on me as highly pretentious.

This vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose - Yeah I can write like that too. Big deal.
#6BraveAdolPosted 8/3/2011 7:32:15 AM
NoPointMade posted...
Am I the only one who thinks the author is a big honking nerd for writing like this?

Really, I think he enjoyed spouting his high-brow analogies than giving any useful critique that all of it rubbed off on me as highly pretentious.

This vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose - Yeah I can write like that too. Big deal.


Critique a news post from a video game webcomic
Suddenly someone ELSE is the nerd

I'm getting mixed messages
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#7Grandy12Posted 8/3/2011 7:41:22 AM
These were two fairly bulky paragraphs to say "I don't use my 3ds" and "the online store looks ridiculous".
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#8__Fiale__Posted 8/3/2011 7:42:50 AM
Grandy12 posted...
These were two fairly bulky paragraphs to say "I don't use my 3ds" and "the online store looks ridiculous".

And? You can summarise most things into a sentence or two.
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#9NoPointMadePosted 8/3/2011 8:05:16 AM(edited)
Case in point, let's replace online store with toilet.

"Their toilet is a nightmare: itís like the nightmare an actual toilet would have, itís like if a toilet were looking into a mirror while its face melted away and the only thing that could staunch this horror was the eventual liquefaction of its optic nerve."

See how interchangeable the subject can be? Sure it's amusing but it can be applied for just about anything (wouldn't be suprised if the author saved it for this occasion). Doesn't matter apparently since some of you seem to lap this senseless pretentious literary piece of ***** up like a dog.
#10pikachupwnagePosted 8/3/2011 7:59:28 AM
CapnStanky posted...
Article is exactly wrong. The E-shop is as decently designed as all of Nintendo's online ventures, and kids covet smartphones and iPod Touches now. And why would they with their ability to play high res movies, TV shows, movie rentals(that they can watch on a much bigger screen on there tv), music, cheap and free games that suck, texting(which is stupid) etc etc. And Nintendo's answer to all of that was a really decently made store, a high res screen, stylus-based touchscreen, a pedometer instead of an achievement system, and 40 dollar games which are priced right. While Nintendo's sales plummet(becuase people are stupid enough to game on phones), Google saw the rise in their phones go up 172 percent over the past year. And Apple went up 110 percent in the last quarter. Nintendo just gets it. They smartly acknowledge that they're better then Apple and Google,

I fix'd it for ya
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