Paper Mario: Ace Attorney Star: Justice For Tribulations (A Parody)

#1SpunkySixPosted 1/25/2013 9:34:03 PM(edited)
Because why not?

WARNING: Users attempting to take this topic seriously will be bopped with a squeaky Eekhammer.

In this epic Courthouse Battle Adventurestraveganza, you play as Mario, helped by his secretary "Tarysecra" running around the Mushroom Kingdom defending various generic Toad clients from Bowser, who has become so absorbed in his job as a prosecutor that he no longer speaks words. He has Mario's newly wedded wife Peach held captive in jail and is holding her without trial until Mario can earn all six Attorney Badges by defeating his prosecutor minions, who have become lost in Attorney Power and can only shout "ATOOOORNEY" at Mario, and must be defeated with a specific piece of Large Evidence.

To save clients, Mario must collect pieces of evidence. He can do so by grabbing the evidence all over the ground or by purchasing black market fake evidence at shady convenience stores across the kingdom. Once he has evidence, Mario can save clients by attacking the police koopas attempting to arrest them and then presenting evidence by mashing A rhythmically over and over again. This serves no purpose, but it's lots of fun even after the fiftieth time and if you do it enough, one of the Toads gives you fancy pocket protectors that Mario wears in the post final court case pizza party.

The road to becoming an Ace Attorney is not an easy one, and you will often be obstructed by obstacles like Koopas abusing welfare and Shy Guy NRA supporters who shoot you in the face with pinpoint accuracy from the top of a hill. Luckily, Tarysecra is here to help! With her Evidencization powers, she can give Mario the ability to turn evidence info sheets in to physical copies of evidence. These puzzles are all very straightforward.

For example, the Koopa on welfare can be distracted by a doughnut. The comfortable couch item won't work, but that's because doughnuts are better for distracting people on wellfare. Duh. There's no fancy way to stop those shy guys from shooting you in the face though, that just sort of happens until you kill them or run away.

Boss prosecutors run on a similar mechanic and allow for clever weakness puzzles. The blue suited prosecutor Pianta, for example, is clearly allergic to paper cuts because Nintendo said so. In fact, this weakness is so clear that Tarysecra refuses to have an extramarital affair with Mario and leaves him in the dog house if you don't use it. She also calls Bowser's yes man a Disco Dan, and it is hilarious. At one point the guy even turns your evidence in to bowling pins out of frustration. Oh IS you wacky dev team you... they even give you boss' life stories, from birth to Harvard, in rhyming puppet show form after the fight. Adowable!

3D is used to great effect to make things pop out. Mario's booty jiggle looks like it's in your face when he idles, blood from the murder cases flies out at players of all ages and the judge's gavel can actually break your nose, which Nintendo is NOT responsible for.

The game has an epic 700 hours worth of content, 500 of which is spent "Attorneytracking" an innovative new mechanic that sees Mario walking back and forth on a world map a lot, because look at how cute that map is! Seriously, look. LOOK AT IT.

The whole thing is set to a swingin' soundtrack full of cheesy, 1980's porno music. The Gooper Prosecutoor fight even uses it as part of the battle. Because tentacles and Japan.

PM:AAS:JFT is coming some time in early 2017, roughly when most of the 3DS's content is set to be released.
---
Tissue to the extreme!
Yo gonna have ta put in a little OVAHTIME, Chuckie!
#2Crazy_tank51Posted 1/25/2013 10:10:52 PM(edited)
8/10 because of you forgot to mention the HopEvidence and InfiniEvidence info sheets that will destroy any and all arguments the prosecutors might have after you give them a piece of Large Evidence. The Shell and Flower evidence handle the cops with ease. The rest of the evidence is redundant.

Also, getting a conviction on your first argument will earn you a cash bonus that's enough to buy you a piece of evidence you can find everywhere.
---
You can solve all problems by bombing them rapidly.
"You will not enjoy that shrimp with sauce while I'm around!"-Drake & Josh
#3howdydoodlePosted 1/26/2013 4:56:08 PM
Wow.
Just, wow.
---
Video games ruined my life! Fortunately, I still have 2 lives left.
#4SpunkySix(Topic Creator)Posted 1/26/2013 8:18:16 PM
Crazy_tank51 posted...
8/10 because of you forgot to mention the HopEvidence and InfiniEvidence info sheets that will destroy any and all arguments the prosecutors might have after you give them a piece of Large Evidence. The Shell and Flower evidence handle the cops with ease. The rest of the evidence is redundant.

Also, getting a conviction on your first argument will earn you a cash bonus that's enough to buy you a piece of evidence you can find everywhere.


That was going to be in the game, but they cut it in favor of unlockable rule 34. Not a bad deal, actually.
---
Tissue to the extreme!
Goof Troop has the bloopinest bloop.
#5FierceDeity1026Posted 1/27/2013 12:33:29 AM
I remember watching a trailer for this that showed the battle with Snow Bowsercutor Statue. It looked difficult though since there was certain evidence that actually helps the opponent's case. Using your evidence wrong could cause you to run out quickly, then you need to attempt to flee the courtroom to avoid further lawsuits.
#6skawo93Posted 1/27/2013 1:26:49 AM
What is this.
---
Error displaying signature.
#7Czar_YoshiPosted 1/27/2013 1:55:25 AM
skawo93 posted...
What is this.


Epic? Well written? Hilarious? Exactly what it looks like? Spot on?
---
"it's that game that is so great it makes you want to destroy your Toilet." -Throwback2780
#8howdydoodlePosted 1/27/2013 6:39:45 PM
Bump.

Because this board needs more wow/creativity and fewer boring rants.
---
Video games ruined my life! Fortunately, I still have 2 lives left.
#9Crazy_tank51Posted 1/28/2013 7:09:45 AM
Czar_Yoshi posted...
skawo93 posted...
What is this.


Epic? Well written? Hilarious? Exactly what it looks like? Spot on?


I was thinking teh same.

Plus the case against Bowser for Peach's freedom sucks. Your many pieces of evidence get overruled so many times that in the end you must fire Tarysecra to afford to beat him. But after you win the case Mario hires her back so...all good.

Not.
---
You can solve all problems by bombing them rapidly.
"You will not enjoy that shrimp with sauce while I'm around!"-Drake & Josh
#10SpoinkRulezzPosted 1/28/2013 7:32:32 AM
Oh god, now I'm sad that I've beaten all the Ace Attorney games already. Man they were epic.