"By the way, how much is the fish?!"

Oh yeah, baby. You just roasted another squadron of alien ships. Those poor bastards. Who did they think they were dealing with, anyway? This is G Darius, not some half-assed Gradius run. When will they ever learn? They can't just swoop towards you with such predictable formations and wimpy pellet shots. All it takes is a few rounds from your trusty laser cannon to turn these guys into alien con carne. It's not like you had to move around too much, either; these guys practically flew straight into your crosshairs. In fact, all you had to do was keep a thumb firmly mounted on the firing button and let your Silver Hawk fighter plane work its magic.

This is a little unfair, actually. You're outnumbered at least 2000 to one, but these guys are a bunch of extraterrestrial doormats. Of course, you're using the Silver Hawk's stackable weapons system, so it's not like they had a chance anyway. All you've got to do is keeping nabbing those shiny orbs that the aliens keep dropping. Since you've already collected a slew of the red, green, and blue gems, your ship is decked out with quadruple machine guns, grenades, and an energy shield strong enough to withstand a ramming from a rogue ship. Too bad your visual display can't be upgraded, though. The problem is that with the chaotic blend of enemy ships and vivid backgrounds, it's tough to discern what and what isn't a target. These guys just won't stop coming, either. They'd be fearsome if they weren't so damned annoying.

This is getting old. You gracefully descend further, soaring low over an island paradise. Each laser blast sends another hail of burning shrapnel into the sapphire ocean below. Oddly enough, these bastards seem to be coming out of the water. Wait. Can the Silver Hawk even fly underwater? You don't waste time pondering over the physics involved and dive right in. You have just enough time to admire that extensive coral reefs, cave networks, and aquatic city before you get ensnared in the alien's ambush. These aren't the Insta-Kill flunkies that you were dealing with; you've got your hands full with a bunch of grenade spewing manta rays, robot lobsters, and automated missile launchers all crammed into a narrow cavern. Of course, you have just the thing for these wannabe badasses: the Capture Balls. A mere button press later, one of your balls snags the nearest enemy, drags it back to the ship, and brainwashes it into becoming your backup fire, a screen-shattering bomb blast, or charged energy wave for the most diehard of foes.

Hah. Those bastards have actually managed to make you sweat. Delirious in a trigger-happy rage, you arise from the water, only long enough to register that the Silver Hawk's computer is warning you about something. What is-

Holy ****. It's a fish the size of damned mountain!

Well, there are worse ways to go, like starving or being tortured for months. But death by fish? It's so crazy it's almost funny. That isn't a real fish, but an intergalactic battleship designed to annihilate mankind. It probably will, too. Its yellow-plated face alone takes up half of the screen, and its mouth makes the Silver Hawk look like a toothpick. It's green, unblinking, baseball stadium-sized eyes fix their gaze on you. Before you can even blink in return, it snuffs you out a barrage of homing torpedoes, shrapnel sprays, energy wave launchers, a ridiculously overpowered forehead-mounted laser cannon, and even its mighty Buzzsaw Fishy Fins of Doom. As your charred remains plummet back to the ground, your foe flounders merrily around the stratosphere…

Until you're back in action in mere seconds, that is. Thank the gaming gods for extra continues, hallelujah! Too bad they didn't give you all the benefits of your past life. All your alien-smiting energy cannons? Gone. Your ground attacks and grenade launchers? None here, buddy boy. That badass enemy warship you that you enslaved minutes ago? Finito. Huh. It's a good think the Silver Hawk has responsive controls. You're going to be dodging around the screen like a madman. All you've got to do is keep a finger on the firing button and the control stick gripped firmly in you hand. Dozens of cheap deaths, thousands of bullets, and an explosion of mechanical fish guts later, and you're zooming away with a well-deserved victory. As if there was any doub-

Oh Hell. This is only the first level. Is there anything else beyond this gutted wasteland? How many more aliens do you have to kill? There can't be more of those damned fish, right? Right? Well, it doesn't really matter now. With several branching paths and worlds just waiting to be liberated, this battle meant nothing. Your fish hunt is just beginning.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 08/27/07

Game Release: G Darius (JP, 1997)