"The Screech Powers of video games--wimpy, enervating, and nearly impossible to figure out"

Years after having played Mega Zone I remembered it as ''Omega Zone.'' The game itself certainly does not seem larger than life. It's one of those games that seem nice and all, but so what? The game is usually overall too slow, but that doesn't lead necessarily into more playing time for you. Often you will see a danger but be unable to avoid it. It's necessary to anticipate barriers and fast-moving enemies(too many are quicker than you) well before they appear, and the game is no fun overall.

This is too bad; there's a catchy marching tune to start, and the backgrounds vary well out of the gate as you move forward, with even the possibility for branching, although the continual background ticking that follows provides an example of how good impressions drop off quickly. You even have the possibility to Mega-size your tank by collecting a bunch of grey dots, which although it has the unforeshadowed drawback of losing you one of your ships is fun to try a few times. It's like Galaga without the plot or logic. The only potentially neat innovation is that there are equivalents of mazes; you are killed if you get pushed off the screen by an obstacle, and the maneuvering without too many tough monsters can be intriguing.

The scrolling map and enemies themselves are pre-set although there will occasionally be desultory branches available from the main line. The monsters gain in speed as you move forward, and some even require multiple hits. There's certainly variety. At the start there are little upside-down houses that unfold their center to reveal bullets. Later on there are stars that move in a pre-set circular pattern and twirling daisies that make a U that is affected by where your ship is(i.e. you'll be doing a lot of slow dodging.) There are also Extra-Scary sensors that shoot a ball back and forth; you destroy them by running past them without getting hit. Wimpy.

As you get to the final part, the game really pours it on. Early on there are purple domes with roving eyeballs--you must shoot the eyeballs, and you can pick up the teardrop that appears afterwards to destroy everything on the screen. But then you have to face these giant eyeballs which shoot all the time, and even continually firing at them sometimes doesn't work--their shots cancel yours out, and they fire continuously. So what if the burnt-out hulls they leave look cool? You also have several scenes where you must contend with enemies bouncing in different directions; there's one where bad guys that look inexplicably like a variety of bread rolls come down from each side and move towards the center once you're in line with them. Of course, they are a good deal faster than you by this time. The final boss scene consists of a bunch of previously stationary enemies bouncing off each other.

Although you get a neat flag and map of the whole course after you die, there is no continue option, and there are no checkpoints after for restart--you're knocked back a specific distance. What's even more infuriating is that it's possible to die within a second of coming back to life, as in places where the background doesn't change for a while it is not always clear where you will start, meaning you can get kicked back twice quickly. One of my unwritten laws of video games is that you should not have a chance of dying before the beginning tune starts.

The kicker is that, even after you kill the big bad guy at the end, there's still a chance to get knocked off by the minions he's spawned. With no comment you're kicked to the next level, where monsters change from dull to annoying; yellow things look like flies have two bullets to release. Your patience will be low, making this first stretch more unnavigable.

The graphics are decidedly insipid. They're like Xevious, but with less variety and no cool boss. From the grey dots you need to pick up to the amphibious sofa-tank you guard(it's made of ovals and circles) to the silver diamonds or butterflies with wings pinned(even missiles that appear spontaneously and fire diagonally at you look chubby,) everything feels a bit too plush to be a proper shooter, and the bullets, themselves thick and circular, add difficulty but not fun. Even the varying backgrounds feel out of place; although the game would be utterly dull without them, they add to the overall illogic, especially the weird grids that provide further distraction. Your ship's explosions, which you'll see frequently, feel like cotton candy, and most enemies just get vaporized quickly.

On stumbling across the game's real name by accident, I began to recall more detailed memories surrounding the game. But all the good ones weren't about the game itself. Once I worked through the game I seemed to find more examples of shocking unfairness. But I cannot forget the days of taking Pascal(now a worthless language) in a summer program(I didn't even get any credit at my high school for it) with a teacher that hated me where I would sneak off to the arcade room during lunch; Mega Zone, being slightly less impossible, was a relief. You couldn't go in the game room unless you were a university student or in the Accelerated Summer School, and although there were never a bunch of Big College Kids around I still felt like I was getting special access. Even Simon Says would probably have seemed cool in that situation. I remember some days I would skimp on my lunch allowance and even buy 48 cents worth of salad(not 51) for the chance to play as many games as I could and not starve. But usually the game always ensured that I would never be late back to class, unless I chose to watch the high-rollers willing to cough up TWO quarters for Paperboy or Choplifter. Come to think of it, the game itself was not as fun to play as watching other games, which says a lot, but any shelter in a storm.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 11/28/00, Updated 01/31/02