Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Remember this fad? Don't strain yourself to, it's not worth it."

I disliked TMNT(the game's initials will be used in the review) as a fad, but I enjoyed the Simpsons video game, where you search for Maggie as any of the Simpson family, tremendously. The game, where you search for Shredder, rescuing April O'Neill the reporter and Splinter the wise, hackneyed old rat, while controlling any of the four turtles, comes somewhere between the two in my evaluation, perhaps closer to the fad. Quite simply, it doesn't have the level of detail, variety of monsters, clever plot twists, logical connections between scenes, and entertaining bosses that the Simpsons does. I don't believe it's as fair, either.

Each turtle seems to have unique moves; I cannot vouch for which is better. I would choose the first guy. The bosses seem to beat you up pretty well no matter whom you choose. As well agonize for a minute over wearing longer or shorter socks to work--especially since I scrunch them down in any case. In any case, that the game is unforgiving and frequently lets monsters or traps zap you twice seems to indicate that two attackers are three times as good as one, which re-enforces the whole teamwork notion of TMNT. You also seem to have more life than in the Simpsons, until you find out that you only get one life per credit for TMNT. This game may not have been as blatant a money-snatcher as standard TMNT merchandise, but I am sure it still turned a nice profit. The ''hurry'' sign also seems to blink too quickly, almost taunting a single player, but it's neat that the game is not completely left-to-right; sometimes you must head down. It's not enough of an innovation, though.

As for the graphics, the cut-scenes between levels(which don't flow well. Some are much longer than others) are good, even if the dialogue is cornily true to the show(''No! It's campy! I swear!'') Too much of the drawings are uniform and industrial-like, and it doesn't help that the turtles all look so similar. Granted, it's clever when you fall down a manhole, and the pizza to recharge energy is a nice touch even if the Simpsons had more types of food to regenerate you, but the main variety seems to be in the drab buildings, and the only potentially very interesting places are during the boss scenes, where you'll need to concentrate on the bad guy, who may in fact be recycled from an earlier level, instead. I found the scene where you're in a sort of elevator to be impressive at first, but it passed quickly and wore off even more quickly. In addition, there are only a few types of monsters, small ones that bite you, purple(some are different colors, but not many) ones with boomerangs, spears, or dynamite, and annoying bosses that are muscular animals with guns. As due to the TV show and related commercials I have probably developed a slight biochemical reaction to the word ''cowabunga!!!'' I don't want to dwell on the sound effects, but other than that they are pretty ordinary.

It may not be fair for someone who knows relatively little about TMNT to give the game a full review, but on the other hand, many people who don't may want to find about one of the first beat-em-up games ever, and the lack of nostalgia may change how much the game is enjoyed. Part of TMNT's appeal as a fad seemed to be the ''it's so crazy/bad it's good'' line, and it emphasizes random events or immature stuff like eating too much pizza and thinking, boy, oh, boy, this is life. I think it's just mediocre and has aged poorly, especially with the only seeming creativity coming from what seems to be semi-desperate randomness. Plus I never really had a thing for April O'Neill anyway. She seems like a reject from Japanese anime.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 04/07/01, Updated 04/07/01