"Slapstick boxing turns half pro wrestling"

Many early video games featured a lot of shooting. Some had driving, where you wanted to avoid making explosions, but for the most part you had to settle for controlling stick figures. In Punch-Out, you got to control a boxer as he fought his way up the World Video Boxing Association ranks. Your object was to knock your opponent out within three minutes or knock him down three times. There was a steady progression of fighters with subtler faults, and after you defeated Mr. Sandman for the championship, opponents stopped making mistakes. This sort of contest was easily replicable, and given the excitement of the original, Nintendo went with another circuit in the game Super Punch-Out. They even allowed for the top three quickest KO's in each fight and hit percentages in a fight. Unfortunately it's a bit too easy for someone who's played Punch-Out, the enemy characters aren't as strong, and some of their moves are downright silly.

In SPO you can have your boxer throw right and left jabs or body blows. Where you throw the punch depends on where you guard with your fists, which you can't switch instantaneously. Ducking is effective if you time it right, and your knockout punch, hook or uppercut, also depends on where your gloves are. SPO's new control is a crouching move to avoid the vicious uppercuts Mr. Sandman loved to floor you with. This is the only action I know where you have to pull up on a joystick, and I don't mean forward. I'm not sure why they didn't just throw in another button. You're not overburdened and never have to use too many at once. With MAME I have found few problems. A more effective surrealism is how you view your fighter, a wire frame, from behind. It's pretty easy to see what you're doing or to read your opponent's body language. But who are your opponents?

Bear Hugger, champion of Canada, is the first. He's a bit of Bald Bull with his pointy shiny dome, and the overalls he's wearing look more obscene than the usual boxer shorts. His punches are slow and he'll let you get a few shots in his gut, after which he sticks his tongue out. Also, when he's knocked down, he shakes himself and roars after getting up, which can knock you down without your super duck. As a rookie I was still able to beat him up despite not crouching, as it was largely a matter of suckering him into a punch and fighting back. Down to the plus signs to show where his teeth border, Bear Hugger feels like an animal, and the hyperbole never stretches too far.

But it goes completely overboard with Dragon Chan of Hong Kong. While his slaphappy karate-spoofing defense allowed for some easy hits, his special attack required that you'd duck. It seemed more in place with pro wrestling: jump to one turnbuckle, then the other, land in the right, and throw a flying kick. This generally left him vulnerable to a good pounding and once I figured out the controls, the fight was a matter of just getting him impatient enough to try this. Before that it was sheer frustration as none of my blocks seemed to work, and I'd breach his defense a bit before ultimately getting pummeled. It's a pity he was so uneven, too. Observing how he flails about, it's challenging to sneak in with just the right punch.

Getting stuck on Dragon Chan and concentrating on Punch-Out for a bit may have pumped me up too much for potato-headed Vodka Drunkenski of the USSR. He looks like he belongs on a pro wrestling circuit. His muscles are grotesque, his waistline almost nonexistent. You're surprised he's not wearing ballet slippers. His moves are very obvious--three power punches after jabs--and I knocked him out on my first try with a world record for time. The name's just stupid, too.

Great Tiger from India is next. He's got a waxed handlebar mustache, like Vodka Drunkenski, but the turban on his head gives him an imposing look. He's got a move where he shuffles around the ring before bouncing in, which is like Piston Hurricane from Punch-Out but with more fanfare beforehand. He over-punches like Pizza Pasta but also tends to block your punches a bit better and you need to throw body blows. I'd say he's the best character of the bunch, looking legitimately disgusted when you knock him out, and if you're not careful he'll stalemate you to the three minute time limit and bring you down. But you should have the upper hand on him.

Last and weirdest is Super Macho Man(SMM) from the USA. His super macho punch seems anything but, and despite the terribly grey frontal-balding mullet I can't help but feel he could use a sequined jacket to separate his personality from Vodka Drunkenski's. SMM's got plenty of moves, and often you have to anticipate one before ducking the other, just in case. For instance, you may duck his kneeling punch and then need to crouch to avoid his super macho punch. You'll see he's setting up his super punch, but if you're still busy ducking and getting back in position, you're cooked. The super macho punch is a twirly disgrace where SMM stands on his toes and swivels around once or twice. After which he's stunned for a second and you can whip him with four punches. Most of the other moves allow only a punch or two in return, much less than previous rounds, and when I was evenly matched with him I generally hoped just to get several super macho punches in a row. They're a bit boring to watch and he feels more like twirling than slugging, but the challenge and worry of something that can knock you out makes for a contentious fight. It's possible to lose in twenty seconds, and I often did. I'd think he would pull one combo and allowed another. Yet while this last fight combines concepts you learned in the first few, the stupid swirling punches and SMM's penchant for waiting make the fight less serious and intense than Punch-Out's brawl with Mr. Sandman. Chance can make it too easy, and in the meantime you can't lead with a jab, or SMM will bust you.

The second wave is inordinately tough, as your enemies' eyes no longer flash yellow before throwing a punch. Bear Hugger doesn't allow you to punch him five times after he misses a punch, and his swats are sharper. You can get knocked out on the second knockdown. Dragon Chan Jumps around and back before flying at you. And Super Macho man pulls a 1440 or even a 2160 with his punch. People stop making mistakes, and an errant punch on your part can be fatal. But it's no matter. The main excitement is getting there. The second wave is an exercise in perfectionist expectations, and even if you don't make any mistakes, the problem is that you didn't pre-empt moves quickly enough after ducking.

Thankfully SPO didn't break the cool effects that made Punch-Out a hit. You've got an announcer announcing the lineups and kibitzing what you should do and what your moves are. The camera behind your fighter pans frequently, leaving your opponent dancing around and showing grey peons taking photographs and cheering louder at each combination. Some of the knockdowns are a bit loopy--do we really need a grown, muscular man pirouetting several times before falling?--but a quick win on the three-knockdown rule accelerates the action. And in the best 'insert coin to continue' hook ever, your opponent walks up to where you stood in gruesome pixilation and laughs. "Come on! Stand up and fight!" calls the announcer. You can have one rematch, where the bill for the fight shows your player bandaged.

The Punch-Out series holds up a bit better than Mat Mania although it went a bit off the deep end with Arm Wrestling. With some thought there could have been a third Punch-Out with boxers of different nationalities. They got through two without any offensive stereotypes, but I guess the main concern here is finding new opponents' moves and ways to avoid them. SPO stretches the concepts a bit, with no fight feeling quite the right difficulty. The enemies don't seem quite as mean, and some of the theatrics are more suited to pro wrestling than boxing. But it won't be a disappointing sequel for those who enjoyed Punch-Out, and the individualized best times for each fight remind me of Track and Field. Too much relied on a new feature that wasn't even that useful, and the fights were imbalanced. But enough carried over from the original that SPO winds up being a pleasant game for the time it'll take to work to the championship belt.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 05/11/01, Updated 08/10/04