"It's true... I'm such a dirty, old man!"

Not all coin-ops resided in the lively, colorful myriad of machines knowns as arcades. Some of the more mature games could be found in such places as adult video stores, private lounges, and convienient stores in the ghetto. Poker Ladies is one such coin-op. This is one game little Johnny isn't supposed to play after finishing his cake and ice cream from a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese!

Gameplay: 8
You (the player) just happen to enter a poker house where nine Oriental ladies challenge you to a game of chance, using poker hands as the basis of score keeping. Five cards are dealt to you and you are free to exchange as many of them as you please. If you get a favorable hand (jacks or better), you gain points. Each lady has three steps; each step has a corresponding point total. The more points you get, the closer you get to reaching a step. Once a step is reached, the lady challening you will strip off some of her clothes. Reaching more steps causes the clothes of your challenger to gradually be taken off. The third step is the most 'rewarding' as the lady takes off even more clothes and you are invited to 'play' (fondle, touch, etc.) with her.

Graphics: 9
I must say I'm impressed with the graphics even though they are of women in various positions with various... objects. The beautiful ladies are very well rendered, and all come with different suits, hairstyles, and facial features. The variety is easily seen as there is nothing recycled from any of the ladies. Their faces, bodies and clothing (which will eventually be taken off) even utilize angles of light, creating shades along the curvature of the skin. The ladies are the highlight of the game, and they do not disappoint. The detail, lighting, and attractiveness of each of them are an example of superior graphic rendering.

Music & Sound: 9
While you're playing cards with the ladies, there's an underlying tune playing. The tune changes every two ladies or so. It's got a casino theme to it, but you never really notice it. During the strip scenes, there's a seductive tune present as the lady displays her 'showcase'. There are some great vocal effects. Each lady you go up against will tell you her name. And in the strip scenes, they'll will ask questions (''Don't you think I'm pretty?'') or make comments (''You're such a dirty, old man''). If you happen to be 'playing' with a lady, she'll put out a number of moans, breathy sighs, and erotic hisses. And that's pretty much the best feature in the audio category.

Overall: 9
I think this is a great adult themed coin-op. The number of quarters Poker Ladies can swallow depends on the player and chance. Some hands are higher than others, and it's always fun to gamble a pair of jacks to see if a flush will be the result. The aspect of not knowing what hand you will come up with is very enjoyable. The aspect of knowing an Oriental woman will strip if you get a good hand is even *more* enjoyable! Poker Ladies is one great coin-op; 52 cards, 4 suits, and 9 beautiful ladies.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 09/02/02, Updated 09/02/02