"Classic stupidity at it's finest."

In the 80's, ninjas were the craze and you had to find excuses for ninjas not to show up rather than develop a storyline. Enter Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja, where the President of the United States is kidnapped by ninjas and you (Our black wifebeater T-shirt, white sweats, converse wearing hero) must rescue him. Why would you be sent instead of the whole army? I don't have an answer, but hey you get to beat up ninjas. This game is the product of the company DATAEAST, which was famous for it's low budget rip offs off better games. This one was made to compete with Double Dragon, but it falls flat on it's face.
GRAPHICS 6/10: Decent graphics for the time. Everything moves nicely and you can tell who is who. You get to beat up blue ninjas, red ninjas, gray ninjas, green ninjas, ninjas on fire, very sexy girl ninjas, and the bosses. Which include a firebreezing muscleman, a self replicating ninja, and some other equally ridiculous 80's vilains.
MUSIC 5/10: You get a two whole songs! One plays on regular levels and is about as entertaining as an enema. The other song play while you fight on top of moving vehicles like a train and truck. This one is actually pretty catchy. The soundeffects stunk back then and stink today.
GAMEPLAY 5/10: You can jump or attack. As you can see the fighting is about as deep as a puddle. However, you can pick up a numchuck to survive, since the cheap shots in this game make it a quarter muncher. Actually, your character is so sorry, that you can't help but get killed by those colorful ninjas. The only saving grace of this game is the two player cooperation, which is rare in this day and age. But even then, it's quite hard.
STORY 1/10: Did you read the intro to this review? The story is laughable. Your Arnold Schwartzeneger looking general tells you to save the president from ninjas. In the end, you rescue the President and he asks you if you would like to have a hamburger with him. Yeah, you may wanna play this purely for the action which is equally laughable.
FUNFACTOR 7/10: Classic side scrolling beat them up. It's actually fun to play retro everyonce in a while. This game is so bad that it will make you cry. However, like watching horrible 80's ninja movies, you can't help but watch and be at least middly entertained.
OVERALL 6/10: A laughable title that barely makes itself worth a quarter. But you can't resist finding it mildly entertatining for all its shortcomings. You may just walk by it if you see it in the arcade, and you would do well to just keep walking. However, it is a good example of classic gaming. Are you a Bad enough Dude to rescue the President?

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 03/06/04