Street Fighter Alpha 3

"bugs! Bugs!! BUGS!!!"

Well, SFA3 is out, it's receiving plenty of quarters, it's receiving all the discussions in the message boards and the magazines and the newsgroups. But I am not going to lie to you... this game sucks. And I don't say that of many games, not even of the ghastly predecessor to Alpha 3. And I didn't want to say it about this game. Come on! All the Street Fighter II characters are back... well, at least all the important ones. (The New Stereotypes make a full fledged appearance in the home ports, though, and Guile... ehh...) There are different modes of play, called -ISMs, which should add to the variety of the gameplay. So what's wrong with it? *cracks knuckles* Let's get started...

Graphics: 7/10. Fairly decent backgrounds and such, but I have a quibble. The characters from Street Fighter II... they look rather, um, FLAT. Especially E.Honda, whose girth looks kind of understated now that he looks like a cardboard cut-out. Sadly, the portraits look just plain stupid now, like something that a teenage kid would draw on an envelope and send to GamePro.

Sound: 3/10. YUCK! What hole did they draw this announcer from? Am I playing Street Fighter or Cool Boarders? And what's with this "echoic strike" sound? Am I the only one who is severely pissed off by this sound? The voices for the "new" characters makes them sound like they are suffering from a cold. And Chun-Li still sounds like a girly-girly-girly-girl.

Story: 4/10. Psycho Drive?! Wuzzuh?! The storyline is kind of like a bad low-budget comic strip, with everyone and their brother out to get Bison, and Zangief piledriving Honda to destroy the Psycho Drive, or Chun-Li and Charlie working together... or other such nonsense. Please. They shouldn't have bothered.

Gameplay: 0/10. You read me right. The gameplay SUCKS. Why? Two words: Akuma. Dhalsim. All you'll ever need to dominate every other character in the game. Did I forget V-ism? They make Alpha 2's Custom Combos, the eternal load of crap, look like something Dan would use. Not only can you do rapid cancels and chains, but you're free to move around, and to top it all off, you have shadows trailing a la Rose's super! Top that all off with the Guard Crush, which leaves your character open for a full second, the tons of high priority that Jabs get over EVERYTHING, and how imbalanced the characters are (Akuma gets STILL more improvements, while Birdie is WEAKENED?! WTF?!) should be enough. But wait! There's more! Did I mention the BUGS?! Yes, Alpha 3 is full of those nasty things. It makes the game look like the rushed-out piece of killer tofu (Oh Wee Ooh) that it is. In certain instances, throws will take out up to 60% of your life. Jump-in moves sometimes hit, sometimes... don't. You can COUNTER MASH for some reason and reduce damage from a multi-hitting Super. The weird, secret No-ism that will make the game go straight to hell. Terrible, awful crap. But... it's a Street Fighter game. And you'll play it anyway. Because everyone else is playing it. You Are A Victim.

Competition: 2/10. Get your ass creamed by a V-Akuma or V-Dhalsim and you'll never want to play the game again. Characters are just either sickeningly overpowered or sickeningly underpowered. And the bugs don't help a thing, either.

Replay Value: 3/10. Why play it if there's only two REAL characters in the game? That'd be like playing Street Fighter I, for God's sake!

Overall: 3/10. This game is wretched. But you'll play it. Hell, Capcom could release Pong Fighter IV and people would play it. It goes to show that when you release a groundbreaking game, afterwards you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want and still make tons of money. As for me... well, maybe nobody plays KOF '98 where I live... but damn if I don't like the limited competition there better. Later, Toonsters.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 11/01/99, Updated 11/01/99