Review by Joke Reviewer

"There is no need to think, the Emperor thinks for you."

Dawn of War: Dark Crusade Review

Introduction: Only the two new factions, the Necrons and Tau, will be explained through and through. All other factions will be mentioned and addressed, but if you want full details on them play the game or read up on them. It would be too long to cover all seven factions in this one review.

Graphics: The date of the engine is showing, but for serious gamers it should actually be a blessing. With Direct-X 10 and extreme shading and textures coming out (Which in turn make hilarious system requirements.), its good to see a good looking game with really low requirements. The graphics by no means will test out your new card, but they are great. The character models and animations are still wonderful, the battles are full of color (Mostly red -cough.), and it takes a very small rig to run. Noticeable advancements from previous versions are a lot more lighting, and richer shadows. More slick animations, and richer environments. Everything else is virtually the same old War hammer. The game isn't the best, but it works. Honestly, if it was pumped full of all bells and whistles, I wouldn't like it. The game has a classic atmosphere, and it works.

Summary: Game looks great, runs smooth and requires virtually nothing but a 3D card to run. 7/10

Sound: This game likes to use your sub woofer which is good. And last time I checked its surround sound, but the game doesn't sound all that good. The battles tend to skip and drop octaves in battles (When you see a wave of machine guns shooting, you'll only hear like four of them shooting instead of twenty.), but thats alright. Again the engine is pretty dated, so this is to be expected. The battles do sound a bit silly, but the game has had the same atmosphere from the start and it works. If the sounds were any richer or more realistic it wouldn't fit. At least they ramped up the voice acting cause its top notch. Awesome sayings and comments from all the units, and a hilarious line of quotes that they say. "Knowledge is power; hide it well.", "An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and un-guarded." Pretty funny stuff, and the actors sound like they really mean it.

Summary: Cheesy sound effects lots of missing noise and the whole game seems a bit quiet. But thats alright; the music and voice actors are great. 8/10

Story: One of the most warped, hilarious and disturbingly cool stories to roll out of a game in a while. Depending on your side you could get a story about a Dictatorship-like army, genocidal zombie robots or demon's wanting to destroy everyone. Thats just three of seven plots, and they are all equally hilarious in their own way. But I don't say that as in their funny, but its just... funny. No game really sets its foot in a Dictatorship-like plot or Zombie robots killing everyone and makes them really cool to listen to and play. Paired with the really great speeches from the characters, these plots feel great and really fit the game. One classic saying for the Space marine (Dictator faction.) "Don't think, the Emperor thinks for you.". Really its just great fun, and since the plot doesn't take itself too seriously it shouldn't offend you. Its a fun mess-you-around plot and it works.

Summary: Great plots, all with their own feel and gags to them that don't make it too much like a joke. They are serious plots, but they work alongside gags and jokes and over the top speeches to really deliver something only War hammer could. 9/10

Game play: New to the series is a campaign mode, in which you pick a faction from a list of seven, and then set out to conquer a planet. Basically you pick a spot to move to, attack and take, and then you reap the rewards of money and bonuses. Some sectors give you Honor Guard, which are generally body guard for your Leader to start the battle with, or you can get some bonuses like being able to start a battle with lots of buildings or double the resources. Its basically like Risk with some tweaks, and its fun. Its a good change from the fixed story campaigns of the past, and its fun to be able to pick where you attack instead of fixed battles. When you reach the HQ of an enemy faction, you're given special objectives like taking out special places or killing certain units which generally have to do with the plot. Its really good fun sieging HQ's, and you feel like you really are attacking the enemy faction's base.

New to the series are two new factions. The Necrons; a slow moving war machine with regenerating (Immortal.) robots, and the Tau which are long ranged specialists in elite battle suits.

Necrons: They come with 100% new units and resources. They only use the power resource, as opposed to the dual-resource all other factions must utilize. Therefore, they're easier to manage and build. However, there are many catches. Their infantry are insanely slow, only builders can capture strategic points (Which increase build time for them instead of giving them resources.), and they have no vehicles (Save the Monolith.). They're best suited for defensive players, and slow builders who can't blitz for their life. However I consider them the best faction. Why? They're immortal. Say 30 of your basic infantry die in combat, you can buy a skill for your commander, walk him over to the pile of robots, and active the Orb of resurrection. ALL the robots get back up. Its just... insanity how powerful and useful that is. Plus their HQ, The Monolith, can essentially be turned into a moving fortress with ten thousand or more health and six anti-infantry turrets, and an anti-everything gun as seen in the intro to the game. They are devastatingly slow, but the most powerful in the game.

Tau: Long ranged elite infantry faction. They use the longest ranged and most powerful guns in the game. Their basic infantry can mow down hundreds of space marines and Orks. They get tons of upgrades, and also get a second faction in their infantry selection: The Kroot. Basically man eating lizards. They also get the third most powerful vehicle, and one of the best heroes. Why aren't they the best? Hand to hand, or lack there of. They cannot even fight close quarters. Therefore they're the easiest to beat as anyone. Get hundreds of infantry and support vehicles together, blitzkrieg into close quarters and you will win every time. Just as a good defense kills the Necrons, a good offense kills the Tau. Also, they have almost no anti-vehicle support (Probably forgotten by the developers.), except for a few seriously powerful infantry and walkers. They sport the best weaponry and armor, but only if they even had knives to fight with.

Summary: Classic game with some awesome additions. I love both new factions, and the campaign is great. The feel of the game is still amazing and it all works out to be the best War hammer yet. The lack of Anti-vehicle for the Tau is a problem, and all the other factions only got one or two more units. 9/10

Replay: Through the roof. /Tons/ of stuff to do. 10/10

Final: Buy it. It is a stand-alone expansion so you don't need the original game to play. You won't regret it if you buy it, and if you're a fan of the series this is the best addition yet. 9/10

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 07/25/07

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