Kango Shicyauzo

"Tastes sweet, less filling"

First of all, it must be said that Kango Shicyauzo (I'm Gonna Nurse You) is an adult game with graphic sexual content. It should not be played by anyone underage or who is offended by depictions of sexual activity.

So, Shinobu Nakagawa, you've just finished medical school, earned your medical license, and have finally attained your goal of being a pediatrician working in the local hospital. Well, Dr. Nakagawa, slight change of plans – the nursing school needs a teacher, and your foster mother, who just happens to be a senior nurse there, recommended you! Now, now, we know it's not your dream, but did we mention it's an all-girls school? And that you'd be the only male on campus? Thought that might get your attention… The students are going to work extra hard to stand out from the rest of the class to get your approval, and even some of the teachers seem to be vying for your attention. So who is going to earn some extra credit this semester?

By setting up a harem in a nursing school, rather than directly in a hospital, Kango Shicyauzo is able to promise a scenario catering to nurse fetishists while skimming out the depressing sides of medicine. In fact, the game pulls the depressing sides out of everything – nursing, relationships, life in general – to make a lighthearted, feelgood harem game. But is it a good one?

Characters and Story: 6/10

The characters are fairly standard bishojo fare, but with the unusual spin of being jammed into professional shells. This has very little effect on the characters, however, since no one really acts professionally – the cast consists of medical professionals having sex without any birth control or disease prevention in locations that are supposed to remain sterile, complimented by a nun who is an absolute nymphomaniac. So, in the end, all we ever see is what's beneath the uniforms (pun intended). Momiji is your spoiled childhood friend who loves you with the dedication of a serial stalker. Nanana is her sweet friend who follows Momiji's lead like a puppy on a leash. Chisa takes the role of the super smart and dedicated shy nerd. Kaede, your foster mother and Momiji's birth mother, is the subject of your ages-old oedipian crush who teases you about it mercilessly. Emi fills the dual role of the sleepy airhead and the sex fiend who brings in virtually all of Kango Shicyauzo's kink content, a strange choice for a character who is supposedly a nun.

As for story…there really isn't one. Kango Shicyauzo is a series of scenes, but there is very little in the way of an overwriting plot beyond what you learn in the first ten minutes – Shinobu starts teaching, opening up sex with one of the women. There is only one character path which shows any sort of progression and climax, and outside of this path there is almost no conflict, suspense, character development, or scene-to-scene flow. Despite being set in medicine, no one dies or is even seriously ill. Everyone is always smiling, everyone is always cheerful, and everyone is always horny.

In short, the lighthearted approach Kango Shicyauzo's writers took is kind of like caffeine-free diet cola – while some people like it, for me, the aftertaste of artificial sweetener and lack of any serious kick takes away from an already muted experience.

Gameplay: 4/10

Kango Shicyauzo uses a very limited, but very strict, question and answer format. The first few questions are designed to chose your path – even going so far as to completely eliminate two or three women on the very first question – but frustratingly the questions are usually too inane to accurately gauge which woman each answer will lead to – “go to class” or “take a break” don't exactly lend themselves to precise targeting, meaning trial and error is your only hope in the start (either that, or use the hint feature).

In complete contrast, once a woman is locked in the answers to unlock sex scenes become so obvious it's virtually pointless – a woman has asked you to come over tonight, do you think saying you're too busy will lead to anything? Not that it really matters – due to the lack of story, aside from missing the specific sex scene you're not affecting anything long term. The only change that arises from too many wrong answers in the second part comes so late and is so hidden anyone dumb enough to not get the answers right in the first place isn't going to realize anything is missing anyways.

Graphics: 6/10

Generally well done, and would be worthy of an 8 but for one very evident problem. Kango Shicyauzo uses the standard “girls in front of backgrounds”, but for some reason a black border surrounds all of the characters, making it painfully obvious that they are merely superimposed on a separate image. I fail to see how any art director could overlook this issue, and I found it very distracting.

In contrast, the scene portraits are well drawn, on-model (a key point for me), lack the black border, and are used for effect in both sexual and non-sexual scenes. Do be warned, however, that one portrait that is common to all the routes, while non-sexual and a normal part of a pediatrician's practice, could be hard to explain if the wrong person saw it out of context, be it your wife, girlfriend, mother, or local FBI agent.

Sound: 7/10

All five of the female characters are clearly and distinctively voiced, and sound quality is appropriately crisp and balanced with the standard sound options available. A strange bonus is that some minor characters – a trio of students used in multiple scenes – are also voiced, which I found to be a nice touch. Background music, however, is plain and pointless, and does little to add to the game experience, preventing a higher score.

Sexual Content: 7/10

Anyone with a nurse fetish (obviously the target market for Kango Shicyauzo) should be satisfied with this game, as many sexual portraits retain some or all of the woman's uniform in frame, and tend to take place in hospital rooms or similar medical facilities. For the most part the sex stays in safe and familiar territory, with only Emi's route bringing in any sort of unusual behaviour. This, of course, flies out the window once the harem route is unlocked, where all bets are off and the game enters a very creepy grey area with mother and daughter Kaede and Momiji both being involved playing with Shinobu together.

Replay Value: 7/10

With five routes, and five women who, despite their stereotypical base, are drastically different from one another, Kango Shicyauzo is as interesting on the fifth run as the first. The game takes use the shared/unique/shared/unique pattern in combining the routes, meaning that new routes involve all-new scenes sandwiched between shared scenes that can be blown through in thirty seconds using the skip feature.

Once you've finished all five routes the harem opens up, and one of the highlights in the game for me was a bizarre fourth-wall breaking scene where Kaede and Momiji talk about the upcoming debauchery said route will reveal. However, this sixth route, while as crazy as promised, is extremely short (even for a harem route), so don't expect too much in your reward.

Overall: 6/10

Personally, I like bishojo games to have some depth, and Kango Shicyauzo, despite being clean and clear on its promise of catering to anyone who has ever lusted after a nurse, is about as deep as a mud puddle. It makes for a fun and easy play, catering more to the “give me some quick hentai” audience than those looking for a challenging game or interesting story. The last group may at least be satisfied by Nanana's storyline, and for that reason alone I will recommend the game to those outside of the hentai crowd.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 01/06/08

Game Release: Kango Shicyauzo (US, 06/24/03)