"Because little kids running around a soccer field are still cute even if they're somewhat aware of what they're doing!"

Soccer would seem to be the ideal children's sport game for PC. The action is mostly continuous, and you often don't have to worry about a lot of technical stuff or set plays; it was a while before I formed my own in response to the game's controls. Even better, the game is six-a-side, leaving half of the clutter afforded by the usual product, with the goalie being automated. Backyard Soccer does just about everything you can expect, giving bigger scorelines than you'd expect in professional soccer, and manages to be rather cute and entertaining for older folk to play as well. Although the seasons are a bit long, there are some good practice modes, and winning the ultimate prize and dominating statistical categories is quite fun. What mistakes there are can largely be passed over by saying 'Oh, they're just kids having fun,' which doesn't make perfect sense but underscores the game's general feel.

After signing into the club treehouse as coach, you must pick your team from eight players sitting in the bleachers, and each is rated one to four in kicking, control, defense, and running. There also seem to be other intangibles, important in deciding a goalie, as some players are good leapers and others are mentioned as having good hands. Each one introduces himself once you inspect him and reacts whether you choose him or not. In season mode you are never able to trade players, but you're allowed unlimited and easy substitutions during the game, so if you learn situational details you can do quite well. The tots come in many different shapes and sizes, from a good-natured kid in a wheelchair to Vicki Kawaguchi, the ballerina whose chin just reaches over the ball, to gangly Billy Jean Blackwood whose pony tail flops all over. Some are clearly better than others, and you can even put siblings on the same team for special powers, but poorer players can add challenge to someone who wants more challenge when going through the league.

Before you play a league game you may want to test the waters with a challenge match. Once you enter the league you face an eight-team double round robin, on home and away fields, with a break for an indoor tournament in the middle if you're doing well enough in the league. This caught me a bit at first; my first time through I thought that was all there was, and although any one game is quick, playing many games in a row is exhausting although possible. Then I found out about promotion for the top two teams at the end to the 'A' division, and finally the Premier Division for the top two teams! Teams in each successive league generally make fewer outright goalie blunders(i.e. failing even to dive for the ball) and allow less time before capitalizing on your indecision, and the final Champions' League tourney after that is a wonderful reminder of the real thing although there are many cleverly named teams you don't even get to play. The manual never mentions relegation, and I didn't want to play the games to find out(it's a bit on the easy side with good players, and I did not want to invest the time or pride.) But relegation would be harsh on children so not having this detail is probably a good thing. You can have several teams as well, which makes this a good game many children can play.

The game doesn't have much in the way of controls, although it allows large-scale changes such as ending in a draw or penalty kicks, difficulty and different noises(you can toggle background noise, kids' voices, announcers and music) with simple yet continued pointing and clicking to choose the highlighted character and then move him where you want him to go. When on offense you always control the ball-carrier unless you've made a long pass, and if you move far enough away when your player has the ball an X will appear instead of a circle to indicate passing, and you can hoof the ball my holding down the mouse button. Sometimes when two players are too close together, there is involuntary passing, which is annoying when you've worked hard to double-team someone, or you move the wrong player in on the ball when you double-team. Even the arrows that appear around a player once he gains ball control can't make up for the nuisances and it would have been nice to be able to click and drag. Players don't always move quite where you want them as well and sometimes boot the ball when you just want to win it, and I'm unable to tell if this is just because they are kids and don't always listen. I figure the computer AI forces my opponents to do much sillier things, so I shouldn't mind. You also get power-up shots if you do enough right according to the manual; I'm not sure what this means but I usually have good luck when I string several passes together. Then if you get a shot on goal the ball either catches fire, turns into a bowling ball, or burrows to the goal line before rolling over. The best part is, your computer opponent gets no such action. You can also substitute freely during any break in the action, which allows some good pattern recognition; putting a tall person in the middle for a corner kick is devastating, and substitution and changing formations is easy with a few mouse clicks. Between games you also have the option of seeing how your team compares with the rest of the league but unfortunately you don't have detailed scouting looks into other teams. The game even allows a bit of undocumented cheating, as you can just shut the application down if you are losing without forfeiting.

One other note: on higher monitor resolutions I had a problem with the pointer not moving when I wanted it to, and so I switched to 800x600. This also made the screen fuller and allowed the cheat of clicking off-screen and then choosing my spot slowly--not as bad as shutting the application down to scrub a losing game. But it's a case where a better monitor doesn't make a better game, and the fussy pointer cost me a few goals early on, so children may be frustrated even more later.

The graphics, although primitive enough to require 256 colors for best play, are unflinchingly cute(well, some of the little munchkins blink a lot,) and although there's a lot of humor it's easy for adults to appreciate such as the shorter kids standing on benches in the team photographs, the exaggerations(this game gets away with a huge ratio of gangly or fat characters) and variously rounded big heads and big eyes are always winners. You even have kids of all different races which never stands a chance of being tasteless. One player even brings a teddy bear on the field. Well, you don't need hands for soccer anyway. The team logos come in a variety of colors and although a team such as the 'Green Boots' may in fact have red shirts and yellow shorts, the uniforms are colorful, and you have a variety of stadia that get more sophisticated, orderly, and louder as your team improves; no more vans or sidewalks outside Municipal Park No. 7. The indoor soccer arenas with their colorful generic ads work the best. The team names and logos even get better. There are special teams for the indoor tournament, and you move from Stars and Melonheads to animals or odd entities(Cherry Pickers, a pair of cherries, one with finger strategically placed, and Smooth Cheetahs) to foods(Minty Pickles and Stinky Cheeses) as you move up the league charts. Of course to do so you must score goals, and every time you score your players do a dance; the opponents sit around vacantly smiling. You're also able to see most of the field on any screen, cutting off no more than the goal area that is less busy. And you even have the option for instant replay after each break in the action.

The only thing consistently annoying here is that when a foul is committed it takes forever before you know what's going on, and there is never really any explanation. Although he weird robot referee that takes over and potters around doesn't have the kids' humor. The game also gets gummed up with graphic effects if you proceed to a penalty shootout, even more annoying than your actually missing the shots until you find an easy procedure. More amusingly the game continues after a halftime or full-time whistle with a soft goal going through as everyone stops and not counting.

Although you'll want to toggle much of the sound, winning tournaments and promotion to higher leagues affords new sound bites added to the usual verbal cues that can help you decide where to play the ball. 'I got this kid' suggests how you should defend, 'I'm open' in several different voices mentions passing. There's trash talk during a penalty kick sequence, cries of 'I'm hungry/tired' to call for substitution, and your players may even look for approval from you. There are growing crowd noises as you venture into larger arenas, with more organized chants replacing 'Go for it Ricky!' The children sound real enough that I felt guilty when the statistics showed I'd left my two weaker players out for an entire game, remembering how back when I was a kid I didn't quite get to participate as the unofficial league rules dictated.

What doesn't always work so well is the announcing crew even though they are heavily biased in your favor and cutely contrast English and American accents. Apparently we still have this problem in many football games today, but although Sunny Day and Earl Grey provide initial interesting commentary, there just isn't enough memory on a CD with such a simple game you don't even need to install for too many distinct sound clips. After a few games you'll have heard most several times, with the only new things to listen for at halftime and full-time of critical games. The voices also serve to muddle further the ambiguous fouling situation where the only thing that goes right is how kids bounce back up and smile immediately afterwards.

Despite my ultimate victory, the main concern during my Premier League season being if I could get Vicki Kawaguchi a hat-trick in every single game(I did, with a few close calls,) I think the AI is suitable for the target audience of 5-10 year olds, and there is a clear learning curve. Sometimes players would seem to stand around or muddle around the ball for a bit but again I suspect kids can get away with that better than renderings of Premiership players who make six figures a week. The computer also seems to make too many back-passes. A defender may pass up an open goal, or forwards may make a hash of things to let your own striker in quickly. But the players do get tougher, with the goalies making better reflex saves even if their habits of wandering around in rectangles(I guess kids these days get anxious) make for some absurdly easy shots. Eventually the player will need to learn the unselfish art of passing, and then passing to hit a ruuner in stride, and defensive teamwork for his team to be at its best. The player has clear advantages by being able to play the ball more, as the computer plays areas to the extreme of neglecting wingers running down the sides.

If I ever go back to Backyard Soccer I'll have a few things to take care of. It took a while to win, and I am not sure I have fully take the time to enjoy my initial triumph yet. When I return to Backyard Soccer, I'll pick a bad team and try to win with it, because it captures much of the fun of coaching kids without the general screaming, dull practices, or worries about an empty water cooler or budgets or parents complaining about their children's playing time. The six-a-side play makes teams quite manageable, paralleling Netherlands team Ajax's real-life soccer schools for youngsters. I've played more complicated computerized team sports, but this one helped me focus on how teamwork and plays develop even if it got a bit simple near the end, where the final celebration was worth it.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 07/05/02, Updated 07/05/02