Diablo II

"Diablo is a lot like porn, it doesn't hurt if you add the sequel to the collection... but it's pretty much the same concept through and through."

That sorceress is so steamed up from all that hot action she can't help shooting out more and more of those sizzlin' projectiles. And that barbarian won't be giving up on her either, and he's literally spinning around from all that craze, ravagely trying to get her on the floor and begging for mercy. He's in such a frenzy she¡¯s losing all her energy because of him. It turns three-way from here, as the supposedly holy paladin runs in with his 'sword', ready to give that sorceress what she's asking for. He shoves it into her as the final blow causes her to groan and fall to the floor. She proceeds to say ''I'm naked''.

This is Multiplayer action in Diablo II. With five character classes to choose from - the Barbarian, the Paladin, the Sorceress, the Necromancer and the Amazon. Your fingers will be sweating from the same workout you'll be getting!

Barbarian - Barb see! Barb smash!
The concept of Diablo II is simple. From 5 character classes, you are to choose one that suits you, and kill baddies with special attacks called skills. Each character is different from the others, but it's also equally easy to tell which character classes will rule over others. The general rule of thumb is that you'd rather watch the harder, more muscular man and two ladies pitting it out with each other than a holy man with a dead guy. Of course, you wouldn't be enjoying this type of game without good graphics, and Diablo II manages to deliver. Whether the sorceress prefers chilly freezeballs or fiery fireballs, the graphics will bring it up rather nicely. It is rather disappointing how you don't get to see a detailed image of the characters, as the game is from an above angle.

Amazon - does this breast-plate make me look fat?
What would you rather have? Endless gold, or endless rare equipment? In this case, you want the clothes, babe. Blizzard manages to bring a tougher version of Barbie Dolls to computer geeks. Window shopping comes in the form of picking off goods from dead corpses, and shopping comes in the form of gambling off of the local jackass who rip you off. The equipment you get will enhance your strength, and your Barbie will just look fab. You'll often see amazing equipment for all classes, but primarily for Amazons (as well as Sorceresses and Barbarians). Or you can just run around wearing nothing at all. This isn't that big of a problem for certain characters though. The brown-haired sorceress lass can't be touched even when she IS wearing nothing. Of course, demons of hell won't take kindly to muscleman barbarians if they run around wearing nothing considering they like to take the action up-close and personal. Thus, they express their appreciation with sound effects, ranging from angry screams or wanting drools. Which means if those demons manage to get you on the floor, your character screams out the type of scream you hear in bathroom stalls without ever fully comprehending what goes on in there. Overall the sounds match the graphics in terms of solid, but forgettable caliber.

Sorceress - these two round babies aren't the only things I'll be throwing around!
Blizzard makes a serious fault in skill-balancing. Through your five characters (Necromancer, Amazon, Barbarian, Sorceress, Paladin), certain characters will reign over others in the long run, mainly due to the skills. Although there are many ways to build your character up with well over 10 worthwhile skills per character, some characters just get the better end of the deal... just like life, the hot girls come out on top. Seriously reflecting back, what would you prefer? A wretchedly powerful ice ball that rips through the guts of all your foes on-screen as you watch in dazzling amazement as everybody falls at your feet (courtesy of the Sorceress), or a white, flashing homing missile (courtesy of the Necromancer)? Simply put, do you want to kill 15 enemies in 3 seconds or 3 enemies in 15 seconds? The rate of killing is so half-assed on some character's parts it seems as if they just don¡¯t have the greatness of other characters. Not only is this something to consider, but the utter uselessness of half of the skills in early-game have absolutely no worth. In truth, as tempting as it is to pump it all early on, the rewards are far better when you let it all out at the end; you¡¯ll have a far more exhilarating experience in the end.

Paladin - even God can't save this dud
Multi-player is an excellent outlet for good fun... only if you have an excellent character. Which brings us to the portion of Diablo that remains extremely unfair: Player Killing. This is where one player will kill another player. While Blizzard has offered certain measures to prevent unfair killing, the game still suffers from it. Imagine a 50 Amazon murdering a 14 Sorceress... levels, of course... not age. The higher the level, the more powerful one will get, which means if your games are not password or level-protected, there is possibility to be ravagely murdered by that bastard Paladin who won't let up chasing you until she gets you naked and dead. The aforementioned Character Imbalance makes it obvious to see who would win if a certain class pits against another. In this regard, characters like the Paladin and the Necromancer cannot touch characters like the Sorceress and the Amazon. Interestingly enough, the original 3 classes in Diablo directly reflect the 3 best classes in Diablo II (Wizard = Sorceress, Rogue = Amazon, Warrior = Barbarian).

Necromancer - nausea and pale skin
The game's shopping/hunting and power-pumping aspect makes this game extremely addictive. However, the basic concept is so simple that it is your index finger that will lose all feeling. Clicking constantly on the same button, you will lose all sense of happiness when you realize you've been playing the same game for 6 hours, you feel nauseated from the repetitive action and your index finger is starting to pop up muscles after all its workout (or are those bruises?) - not to mention that whore of a Sorceress won't be giving up those hot red gloves you two were fighting for. Generally, it's the same game that you've been playing with Diablo. If you haven't played Diablo II but have played Diablo, you aren't missing out on much except for a finger workout. But no matter what class you choose, you'll be getting some meat of the action!

Again comes the question of innovation over tried-and-true formula. Diablo II uses the tried-and-true formula of Diablo and expands it a lot more. Nothing really changes. It's just the same thing. Whether you wanted more in the first place or whether you wanted a completely different experience is up to you. I, personally thought that Blizzard played the right cards in making it an expansion of the same thing. In short, Diablo is a lot like porn, it doesn¡¯t hurt if you add the sequel to the collection... but it¡¯s pretty much the same concept through and through.

Gameplay Elements: 8 - Pure finger-clicking action. Depressingly addictive.
Visual Presentation: 7 - The large-scale skills your characters have will be portrayed nicely, but details are to a minimum.
Audio Presentation: 8 - Sound effects and ambient music is enough to keep it up. The voice acting is well done.
Additional Add-ons: 9 - For those of you who want to be the best of the best, you'll be playing this game for well over a year. For those of you who hate repetition, you'll be playing this for a month.
Score Bias: 8 - Prepare to stretch those fingers every three hours... then continue pounding at the mouse button.

[8.0] ~ GREAT

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 05/19/03, Updated 05/21/03