NASCAR Racing 2

"Better than the Detroit Tigers, Cincinnati Bengals, and Mike Tyson put together."

Better than the Detroit Tigers, Cincinnati Bengals, and Mike Tyson put together. ^_^;;

(If you like either of those teams, I’m sorry. I have to use a decent example. X.x;; Nobody likes Mike Tyson anymore, do they?)

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Anything can be better than those guys, especially Mike Tyson. Even a girly girl like Bill Clinton, Wayne Newton, or Kelly Osborne could beat him up these days. Another thing that is way better than the crap that is those sports teams and that wimpy girl Mike Tyson is the game I’m reviewing, and strangely enough it’s a game that goes with a sport itself. The redneck but extremely fast sport of stock car racing, in particular NASCAR! Rednecks unite and start to run around the trailer park drinking beer and riding lawn mowers. (I’m not very accurate am I?) That game in particular was one of my older favorites as a young kid, and it’s still pretty damn fun today. NASCAR Racing 2 gave me a lot of memories that I might forget over time, but they’re still good. This game in question is made a developing company called Papyrus and was published by the PC People at Sierra. With a few setbacks, NASCAR Racing 2 is a fairly good early NASCAR game. Those would be the fact that the graphics are comprised of an immense amount of polygons and that the crowd looks like a really crappy tie-dye t-shirt that a hippie would wear back in the 70’s and feel sexy in it. NASCAR Racing 2 also has a really crappy frame-rate that is noticeable and hampers the experience somewhat. It can be really hard to have a car be a one place at one point and have the car be in another place at another point and have it not be moving between those two points. Being honest, that would scare the crap out of me!

I’ve had this game since 1996, and I’ve completed a few seasons in it. Now in all of that time, you’d think I would have noticed a story if there was one. Guess what, it’s 2003 and I’m still looking for it! It might be in my pants. Heck, I dunno. There is no story to the game which sometimes means there is no point to the game. Sports games, particularly NASCAR have no need for a major story. All you really do is race around the track and try to win. Players do that so you they can win the extremely coveted (but sadly its virtual so you don’t really get it.) NASCAR Championship. If you really did get it for winning a video game, something would have to be seriously ****** up. But as long as you enjoy yourself, you’ll feel warm and sexy while playing it.

The gameplay in NASCAR Racing 2 is one of the more…uh…controversial points of the game. I mean that in saying it has more flaws in it than any other category, but the gameplay shines out as being one of the better qualities of the game for some reason. Don’t get me wrong, the other categories are important but something felt wrong with this one. I guess that shows another way, how everybody’s favorite review to disregard, IAX, feels about his games. He is screwed up beyond belief isn’t he? I always knew that the kid had major issues with life. Guess that just shows us how insane this bastard is. Oh yeah, (British general accent) onward and talley ho with the review! (Did I even spell that right?)

In the game, there are several modes for you to enjoy and raid on your conquest to NASCAR superstardom. I think I just invented a crappy word. Webster can move the hell out of the way. A new kid is in town. He’s going to create his dictionary and include even more crap about these words than you can! This is going to kick your booty so bad it will not be funny. Well, it might be funny to me. So watch out! What does this have to do with NASCAR you ask? IAX can’t help it. Being the indignant idiot that I recgonize I am, I’m enjoying myself in the moment and I’m having fun. And to think, this started with me saying the word “superstardom.” Oh yeah, the modes of NASCAR Racing 2 are fun and diverse, kind of like our great nation in the sense of the women! You have your Quick Race mode which allows you to simulate one race weekend. You get to practice, qualify, practice again, and then do the final race! In the sense of relating to the women, you get to try for her, achieve the state you want to be in with her, show her you care for her more, and then get the booty…er…marriage. Championship Mode lets you try to do this for an entire season and try to achieve enough points to get the big prize at the end of the season. I’ll let you relate this to women yourself. And you female readers, don’t feel left out. Just look at this for the feminine perspective. (I have no damn clue what I’m talking about, but I’m trying to appeal to both sexes. X.x;;) You have your internet mode which enables you the chance to race your friends if they’re lucky enough to own this wonderful game. Hell, I’m not even going to trying to relate this one the women (or men.) Then you have your mode which lets create the lists of the people you will race with and cars that you can race with as well. In relation to the women, I just going to say watch the movie Simone. That might help get it across. e.e;; Enough of this randomness, let’s keep going!

During the actual gameplay, the way you’re supposed to do it is fairly simple. Just get around the track trying to beat everybody else’s ass. Simple enough, eh? Well, there’s a catch. (You’re thinking, “Damn it! I knew this kumquat wouldn’t make things sound so easy.”) There are a lot of little aspects to this, which make it much more enticing and deep. You have to have your car have the proper set up in order to successfully race around the track at its maximum capabilities. This you have the majority of it before the race as well. Also, you have to avoid typically slower, crappier cars that can get in your way. If you spin one of those dudes out and you have it turned on, a caution will come out. For people who know don’t know jack about racing, a caution is when there is a threat to other cars on the track. Other examples of cautions include blown engines and debris from other cars on the track. Another thing is that you have to monitor your setting. You can make it so you have a pace lap before the damn race or so that the cars around you will be twice as hard to face. Another thing is that you have to qualify properly. Qualifying is where you race around the track and the faster the time you get the farther up in the field of cars you start. Fastest times will start on the front row. And yet another thing, you may have to go onto pit road and fix your car or change your tires and replenish fuel during the race. This will screw you up because Papyrus made it so damn hard to get into the pits. I hope God smites them now. (I’m doing this for the racing illiterate. They’re a sad crowd, IMO. Sorry if you are one. X.x;;)

Another feature in this game is that you have the ability to design your own cars with a paint like program thing. You can create your own decals with the paint thing or you can use premade decals. The premade decals will say things like “Polymer,” “Circuit City,”’ and “Xoron.” If you decide to make your own decals, you can design it beyond your wildest dreams. This being said, you can make it display crap like “FFM sucks,” “Vote for Bilbo Baggins for Senator. He’s guaranteed to have an affair in office,” or “Buy Porn on the internet for free with listening to Britnney Spears!” God, I love being a reviewer.

Graphically, the game for its time was amazing aside from the immense overuse of polygons. But now, compared to games like Icewind Dale, Warcraft III, Kana Little Sister, and even Starcraft, NASCAR Racing 2 is out of its damn league. You have to feel sorry for it in this sense. Now I say we add two lines into this review and pay tribute to the game:

Now that we have paid tribute to the game, we can get down to business about the graphics. Overall, the game at its time was a graphical wonder to men. It brought everything to light in these immensely vivid and diverse colors. The cars themselves look all right. They’re a bit polygonal and look nicely designed like the actual cars in NASCAR at that time. These display decals which all look rather real and even show some sponsors which have shown great support to the sport and our forgotten enigmas now. I designate those two lines for this as well. Another graphic bit, the track itself looks decently real and shows all of the necessary features. All in all, the graphics are designed wonderfull and colored well, but are over polygoned. No wonder Zelda dumped Link’s ass….

And I can’t forget the sound for Gbness’s sake. The major flaw with the sound is that there is no music at all in this damn game except the opening FMV’s catchy little tune that suits the mood of that moment really well. That kinda pissed me off then but it’s okey dokey now. And now all that leaves is the sound effects! ::fireworks and pyrotechnics appear behind IAX as he speaks:: Overall, the sound effects are excellent for a 1996 game. The hum and roar of the engine makes me feel like I’m actually racing around the track with thousands of redneck NASCAR fans cheering me on! YEE HAW! Effects from when you crash or hit the wall make me feel like I’m flying through the air doing flips and damn corkscrews, while screwing up my car, merely to come out unscathed. You get the picture now? I probably don’t need to explain it much more now, do I?

Replay Value is excellent. It’s worth playing it today, seven years after I received it as a gift. Does this tell you something? It better. Only a blockhead like Charlie Brown would not understand it now, would he?

Overall, this game is a decent purchase if you can track it down. I’d imagine it would be immensely hard to find it these days. It might be abandonware. I have no clue. So if you find it, it should be really cheap, so you should buy it, damn it!

Overall- 8/10-This game is an enjoyable experience that should be fun for the whole family. Even grandma! So get her ass out of the rocker and on to NASCAR Racing 2 today! This is everybody’s favorite reviewer to disregard, IAX, signing out. Have a nice day!

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 07/21/03, Updated 07/26/03