Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness

"What a load of rubbish..."

What? The only review so far less than 10? Is this just a vain attempt at being controversial?

To cut things short, no. The reason for this game getting a below-average score is because (excepting the PC conversion of Metal Gear Solid 2 with its 'nope, you'll have to quit the entire game to change the controls' philosophy) it is the single most frustrating game I have ever had the misfortune to purchase. Why? Read on....

Problem #1: It takes about 45 minutes at the least to complete the full install, from two CD's. MGS2 had to copy 7.5 GIGABYTES to my hard drive and even that only took 15 minutes. Never mind, I thought, maybe my computer is acting up, and at least this only has to be done once.

Problem #2: If you want to see any kind of videos within the game (i.e. if you want to see what the plot is) then you'll have to go online and download the patch (5.5 mb), which was released only a week after the actual game. But what if you dont have the internet? Well, never mind, you can go without the plot, just pretend it's Mario or something. I mean, didn't they even TRY loading up the game? Not even ONCE? For pity's sake, the developers would have only have had to spend five SECONDS loading up the game to realise that the intro video doesn't run!!!! Well, never mind, video isn't everything eh?

Problem #3: There's no training level, as in every single other TR game. TR: Chronicles changed the formula a little and decided to put the training section in as an optional part of the first level, and that worked fine, but not here. Nooooooooooo. On starting the game, following the fast-paced (and arguably very good) intro video, you're launched into the first level with Lara telling you how to walk around. By using the arrow keys. With left and right to turn you (you guessed it) left and right! I can understand how novice gamers might not be able to figure this out if they are playing for the first time, but couldn't they have just looked at the manual instead? Or the key configuration? Obviously not. So now, instead of rushing Lara away from the police who are chasing her at the start of the game, Lara seems to have the time to stand around saying things like 'that box looks climbable' and 'if i walk to the edge of this platform, then i won't fall off' (you can press control to skip through each of these, but Lara always freezes whenever each tip comes up). Not that the police seem to make any effort to catch Lara, anyway. On one level, I fell through a gap in some stairs to land in front of an armed policeman chasing me, who then stood around uselessly as if it was his last minute on duty and he was very tired and the next policeman would be along very soon to continue chasing after me, thankyou very much.

Problem #4: Lara seems to be totally retarded. On trying to run through a doorway, Lara brushed her hair against the wall on her right, but instead of, say, stopping briefly or moving slightly to the left in order to go through, she turned left 90 degrees, ran straight into the left hand wall, and then turned left again to run away from the big scary doorframe. Did this ever happen in Max Payne? Half-Life? In any of the other Tomb Raider games? Nope.

Problem #5: But hey, surely the graphics are much better now? Well, nope, at least not on the PC version. TRAOD looks as if it was written about 4 years ago, and the controls developed even earlier. There are no shadows, strange holes appear in walls showing an x-ray of the rest of the level, enemies 'flash' after dying before disappearing in a fashion much worse than 1997's Goldeneye or any other game since. about 10 seconds later (if you've performed a 'stealth' kill) their gun will drop from the ceiling, complete with a big flashing light to let you know you can pick it up (as happens with all the 'interactive' items in the game, presumably because so little of the scenery is interactive that you're going to need help finding anything you can do something with). Half of the doors in the game don't work, despite looking identical to those that do. It's not as if they're locked, because Lara will tell you if one is, its just that they don't work. SO WHY EVEN PUT THEM THERE??????? It took me way longer that it should have to find the way around the 'paris ghetto' hub level, because i had to try EVERY SINGLE DOOR IN THE LEVEL to see which ones would open and which ones wouldn't. Big piles of cash are absurdly 'left' lying around on the streets, one even lying in full view of a prostitute who comments about a lack of business! Most of textures are blurry and unfocused. The inventory, despite looking exactly the same as the main menu, now has to be accessed via a different keypress, confusing most people who played the previous games in the series. Even the video is grainy. Rrrrrrrghh.

Problem #6: The controls, if you could call them that. Controlling Lara is similar to poking a sleeping cat with a stick: you'll have to keep trying for a while, hitting harder and harder, until the cat eventually gets bored and moves somewhere else. Lara can't pull out her guns in mid-air anymore, can't run from standing if she has to turn a little bit at the same time, and can't stop to look around (done by holding down the num 0 key) without stopping for 5 minutes for tea and a crumpet. You can use the mouse to turn Lara around, but there's not any point as it's even harder than with the keyboard.

Problem #7: The absurd number of 'loading points', where one level changes into another. In the first 'hub' level, Paris Ghetto, each part of the level takes about 15 seconds to cross before you have to load up again (which takes about the same amount of time). Tomb Raider (the first one) managed to create large, sprawling levels with fantastic amounts of detail about 7 years ago now, so why couldn't they do it here? It's not as if these levels even have anything in them of much interest.

As you can tell, I'm not a happy bunny.

So is there anything worth getting this game for? Hmm. The box looks nice, with a cute little layout for holding two CD's so you can see them both at the same time. The music is quite good, having been performed by the London Symphony Orchestra. You can insult prostitutes, if you like, for mildly amusing consequences. The clumsy French pronunciations from Lara could also raise a smile or two. Lara's breasts are, once again, even bigger, suggesting that maybe Core have been watching a little too much Eurotrash. And, well, you do get to raid a few tombs, providing some Indiana Jones themed action.

But one fact makes all this seem insignificant: that, for the same price, you could buy ALL of the previous TR games and still have money left over. Or 60 cans of beer. Or 3 cheap DVDs. Or maybe a new brain, if you looked hard enough. Or even (gasp) Half-Life 2 in about a month's time.

To summarise: please dont buy this, you'll only encourage them to make another one...

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 07/23/03, Updated 07/23/03