Sid Meier's SimGolf

"Tripped and fell flat on its face"

SID MEIER'S SIMGOLF

Lets get started with this review. I warn you. SimGolf is not an overly impressing game at all, and can in fact become tediously boring and repetitive after about 3-4 hours of play.

Story-0/10

There is no story at all, apart from designing a golf resort and make a champion golfer. As I said there is no story to this game so I have to give it 0.

Graphics- 5/10

Nothing special here at all. The guests resemble people that look like they're from Age Of Empires I, on the PC. Buildings are the nicest looking things in the game, but why can't it all look nice? Why not great looking guests, scenery AND buildings?
The only thing smooth looking are the golf course fairways (for some reason!). What I don't like is the fact that as soon as you zoom in everything turns blurry and clunky. Sure, games like Beach Life go all clunky and blurry when you zoom in at the max but does SimGolf want to be like any other management sim? Well, at the moment...yes.

Sound-3/10

This is where the game drives me INSANE. The sound is just annoying and the music is just torturously sad. You hear the same piano music over and over. I don't know what type of music it is...jazz perhaps? I don't really care, its so damn horrible!!!
Another thing that really annoys me about the sound is the constant talking of the guests. As you may or may not have known, SimGolf is to do with the cult hit The Sims. Yes...the guests are Sims. And by GOD, there talk is just plain annoying.
When they have a drink you hear the same ''Ahhhhh'' or when they have a snack it's a nice ''BURP''. There aren't any variations, apart from when women Sims have a drink and you hear a gurgling noise...erm!
You do of course hear the sound of golf clubs smacking golf balls and the noise of Sims babbling to each other on the way with little speech bubbles indicating what they say to each other. Keeping to those speech bubbles. When Sims for instance, have a drink, a speech bubble over there head says,''Ahh! A cool, foamy beverage'' Who the hell would say that!? It's INSANE! What also gets pretty annoying is that every time you place a bit of terrain down you get this hollow metallic noise. ANNOYING.

Gameplay-5/10

The game slightly improves here. OK building a golf course is quite fun but it could have been way better. This game came out in 2002 by which time The Sims: On Holiday and The Sims Deluxe were already out. By this time you could have expected a fully 3D golf resort management game. Ohhhh NO!
Good ol' top down view for SimGolf!When will management games change?
The good thing about this game is that you can customize everything about the guests. Their name, attributes, their appearance and even what they say. This is useful if you are annoyed with the standard golfers speech. So no more ''Ahhhhh! A cool, foamy beverage!!! With the customization option this can turn into,''Nice drink fart face'' Not too dramatic not too weak, don't you think?
Another cool thing is that you can change guest's professions. Its quite funny to see Sims talk to each other and say,''So what do you do Obi Wan?''
''I'm a Jedi'' This is all pointless crud in reality but it does stop the oppressiveness of the game.
I don't know how anyone can fit in 18 holes without the golf course looking cramped. I managed 11 holes on my course, being very VERY cramped.
Another pointless idea for the game is the Sim Stories. Basically at random two Sims will start chatting about something really weird. For instance suddenly a speech bubble will appear saying,''What's wrong Jane? You look sad.'' The reply;''My goldfish is sick. He's not gonna make it!'' Depending on how much the Sims are enjoying your course the story will continue...this does nothing for the game at all. Its just THERE!
Of course you do have your usual. Hire Groundskeepers to destroy weeds and Soda Vendors to quench the thirst of guests. Yawn...
You can play rounds of golf with guests, or even have a tournament, but all you do is select a type of shot and click where you want the golf ball to go.

Life Span-3/10

As I said earlier, this game will probably only last 3-4 hours, and then you'll probably un-install the game. I did. I have played better games then this. There are only 3 modes in the game. There is the New Game mode where you just build a golf course with a set amount of money etc. Then there's Sandbox mode, which is exactly like New Game but with unlimited ''simoleans'' and 250 acres of land. There is also a Tournament mode, which is just like I mentioned in Game play (see above)
A couple of months later, you could suddenly get an urge to install the game again, and reconsider your views on the game. FIGHT THIS URGE! If you do, you'll play it for 2 hours then un-install it again. Wait a minute...why do you have this game? I don't know why I have. I must have been in some sort of haze when I handed over my money. A sad day for sure.

PROS

+ The only golf resort management game out there
+ You can customize everything

CONS
- Bad graphics
- Pointless extras
- Nothing new at all
- Like all other management games
- The most annoying sound ever!!! EVER!

Rent Or Buy?

Well as far as I know, you can't rent PC games. If your friend asks you if you want to borrow it, scream, ''NOOOOOOOO!!!!'' and RUN like the clappers. Don't buy this game unless you are THE most HARDCORE golf fan out there. If you had any knowledge about strategy and management games you'd take it off the shop shelf run outside with it and throw it under a moving car.
I think Pong on the Odyssey is more interesting. Cash your money out on something like The Sims or SimCity 4.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 11/03/03